Severus Snape and the Boy Who Lived
by Apprentice08
Summary: The Dark Lord is gone and Severus has found himself outside Godric's Hollow. He holds onto Lily for dear life. The following occurrences are Severus as he assumes his guardian position over Harry. The life of the boy in the cupboard echos his own torment but he still resists knowing that deep down Harry will turn out to be just like his father... no matter how Severus Intervenes.
1. It Begins

Chapter 1

It Begins

Dumbledore stood in his office looking out the window onto the shimmering lake outside. It wouldn't be long before a dark young man would arrive.

The door to Dumbledore's office was thrown open with a bang, which was a rather difficult feet considering the age and weight of the door that had been thrown.

"What is going on? There are rumors and whispers all over! Has the Dark Lord fallen? Is everything all right?" The man that stood before Dumbledore was often a man of few words, he spoke little unless addressed and often times did not have the patients or desire to communicate or spend time with others.

The truth was, the previous questions asked by the young man had been the most he had spoken in the last few months. There was urgency in the young man's voice and Dumbledore considered him self lucky to be one of the few that was allowed to see the man's seldom shared emotions.

"Severus, please take a seat won't you?" The wizard with the silvery beard motioned to a chair but the younger man wouldn't have it.

"Dumbledore, please tell me! Is everything alright, is everything going according to plan?"

The pleading look on the man's face made Dumbledore hesitate, perhaps he should share the good news first.

"The Dark Lord has been subdued." Dumbledore said as he approached Severus cautiously.

A small hopeful smile etched it's way across the man's thin mouth, "And… what about _her_?"

Dumbledore knew that there was no way around it, he had his wand on the desk near by incase the young man reacted poorly to the news, "Severus…" he started.

The small smile faltered and Severus took a step forward, "Where is she!" Severus yelled in a desperate tone.

"Lillie and James Potter did not survive his final attack." The old wizard said softly. He could see the light fade from Severus's eyes; his face grew pale and his mouth started to shake. He stumbled back and leaned against a wall almost sinking to the ground.

"No…" he said softly, everything he had done was for nothing, every risk he had taken, ever single person he had betrayed to deliver information to Dumbledore, it had all been to keep her safe and now she was… gone.

"You said you would keep her _Safe." _

"Lillie and James put their faith in the wrong person Severus, rather like you."

Severus felt his body lean against the cold walls of Dumbledore's office as anguish created havoc in his body; he fought the urge to fall to his knees. He kept his head turned away from the old wizard less he should let the tears fall from his eyes.

"The boy survives" Dumbledore said with encouragement, as if this would make Severus happy.

"He doesn't need protection, the dark lord is gone!" Severus slurred as his arm gestured to make his point. He felt his sweat follow the dried lines of his tears and swallowed as Dumbledore strode forward.

"The dark lord will return. And when he does the boy will be in terrible danger."

Severus felt the pain of loss surge through him again, for a moment he felt like he was going to lose all control, his body started to lean forward, perhaps he would vomit.

"He has her eyes…" The old wizard said.

The grief in Severus faltered and slowly came to a halt as the dark man's sharp eyes glanced up to look at the ancient man of whom he had put so much faith in. The boy was the spawn of a man that he truly hated, but if the child had Lillie's eyes perhaps…

"If you truly loved her…" Dumbledore trailed off again and Severus knew he had no choice. Lillie would have wanted him to… to do something with his life, even if half of the little brat had come from Potter.

Begrudgingly Severus finally said, "_No one_ can know."

"I shall never reveal the best of you Severus."

"Your word!" Severus said as he pushed himself up from the wall.

Dumbledore gave a small hint of his all too common smile, "When you risk your life everyday to protect the boy…"

"Make no mistake Albus, I am doing this for Lillie, not for the boy and not for you. I bare no joy in knowing I will be stuck guarding Potter's son. No doubt the child will be as arrogant as his father."

"Only time will tell what Lillie's son's true nature will be. Let us just hope that he will be up to the tasks set before him in the future."

Severus didn't dwell, he turned on his heel and started to head towards the door, "Do hurry! There is much to be done tonight! Oh and Severus, the boy's name is…"

"Harry… I know." Severus said cutting the old man off, "A ridiculous name for a ridiculous child." And with that the dark haired man was gone.

OOOO

Severus Snape stood outside of a house in Godric's Hollow. The roof was caved in and it seemed that all the windows in the house, save one, where dark and cold. He stared up at the house, feet planted on the hard stones of the street. His hand gripped the dark wooded handle of his wand. Severus then waited as he gathered the courage to enter.

The night was cold and the smell of dark magic and death swirled around him like a cloak. Severus knew what he would find inside, but part of him refused to believe it. Part of him hoped that somehow that dimwitted prick of a man had managed to defend Lillie. In his heart he knew though, before he even entered the house he could feel the emptiness.

Dumbledore had told him that the Potter's had been destroyed but for some reason he just couldn't believe that Lillie was dead. He couldn't let go of the small amount of hope that maybe Dumbledore had been misinformed. Severus knew he had to come see for himself, otherwise he would never truly believe that Lillie was gone.

His progression inside was slow, he peered around corners and his ears strained to listen for any sound. The silence was both a good sign and a bad one. Severus glanced up the stairs to his right and started to ascend. He froze momentarily when he noticed a pair of feet sticking out from the top hall.

He knew in that moment James Potter was dead, but instead of a triumphant smirk or a moment to soak in the fact that his cruel tormentor had been slaughtered, Severus moved on slowly down the hall. He only glanced at the wide blue eyes of the man who, for so long, had made his life a living hell.

The room with the only warm light was at the end of the hall. The doorframe blown from the wall and the door completely shattered into tiny pieces. A yellow dresser sat just inside the door, it was soaked with the warm yellow light of the lamp that lay strewn on the floor. Perhaps Lillie had managed to hide, perhaps she was okay and soon enough they could both put this all behind them.

Walking down that hall was the longest thirty seconds of his life as he approached and Severus felt his heartbeat grow faster and felt it pound against his chest harder and harder. It took a lot to shake Severus up; he had grown up through a lot of pointless pain and humiliation. But in this moment, he shook and subconsciously he was begging anyone who would listen to let her be all right.

He pressed on through the crumbled doorway and felt all the breath leave his lungs in a surge of disbelief. There she was, on the floor with her eyes staring off into a special void that she would never actually see.

Severus felt his legs go weak and he leaned against the wall before sliding to his knees. As he tried desperately to catch his breath he managed to shuffle forward and pull Lille onto his lap. Tears soaked his face and dripped off his chin onto her cheeks and lips. He held her tight and rocked her back and forth letting the anguish wash through him and rip from his dry throat.

In Severus's whole life he had never had a friend so strong and true, so loyal and fierce and he had never loved anyone the way he had loved her. It would have been close to worship had he actually allowed himself to share his feelings with her. Share them the way he had always wanted to, and now it was to late and she was dead and he would never truly be able to redeem him self. Her beautiful green eyes would remain cold, hollow and empty and there was no potion or spell he could use to bring her back.

"I am so sorry Lillie…" Severus whispered to her, "Please forgive me, please…please."

Severus felt something gently touching his hair and he pulled away to turn his head with a scared snap. Behind him in the crib was a little baby boy who had tears in his eyes. The boy had stopped crying long enough to reach through the bars and gently play with Severus's long black hair.

Severus allowed a sigh to escape, some of his anxiety and sadness going with it. He didn't pay any attention to the child at first. He leaned back against the crib and shut his eyes allowing the better memories of Lillie to come forward and fill his twisted mind. She was the only source of light in his life and so to his memories brought a small amount of light to his thoughts and a very small genuine smile curved his lips.

He held Lillie still closer, trying to grasp at the memories that would bring him the most comfort in these last few moments he had with her. A small hand landed on his cheek and tiny fingernails gently scratched at his clammy skin. A soft coo came from behind and Severus finally couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. He opened his eyes and slowly turned his head. There before him was Harry Potter, no bigger then a size 2 cauldron. Severus studied his dark brown wisps of hair and glanced at the bloody scar on his forehead.

It wasn't until he saw the child's eyes that he knew Dumbledore had been right. Lillie's eyes stared back at him and not even Severus could deny the intelligence that hid in them. Only time would tell if he would be as smart and kind as his mother or as egocentric and putrid as his father.

The child had met his eyes long enough to establish that Severus meant him no harm and that just maybe this man would feed him. He continued to play with the man's hair and leaned forward to try and put the tips of the strands in his mouth. Severus's tired red eyes watched the child but didn't put up any fight. Instead he allowed his grip on Lily to lessen. Harry reached out and grabbed Severus's nose, the man didn't move and Harry smiled and giggled wickedly as he squeezed and waited for something to happen. The pale man took in a deep breath when he noticed the similarities between Harry's smile and his mothers.

Allowing himself to stand, Severus lifted Lily and crossed the room to place her gently in the light blue rocking chair in the corner. He took a quilt, which was on the ground and shook the room's debris from it. Gently placing it over her still body Severus became aware of the sudden sniffles from behind him. He turned to see Harry reaching through the bars of his crib towards the covered form of his mother.

He was barely able to say it, he was still so little but Severus could just barely make out his attempts of calling for her, "MU, MU MUMU MU MU." Sending bits of baby dribble falling down his chin and onto his chest, the boy squirmed and tried to stand.

Severus looked around the room and saw a small chest of drawers that had pictures resting on top of it. He slowly approached and picked up the biggest of the frames. The picture showed Lily holding baby Harry and slowly turning as she danced with him in her arms. They were both smiling and laughing and in that instant Severus saw the love, kindness and beauty of Lily wrapped up in the tiny vessel that was baby Harry.

Though his heart was aching like it never had before Severus glanced at the still form that was Lily and then turned to the baby who was now starting to cry again as he looked up at Severus. The man knew what Lily would have wanted him to do.

OOOO

Severus kept watch out the dark windows of the Potter's house; he carried Harry in the crook of his right arm and held a bottle with his left. People were starting to gather outside. Most of them were Magic folk and not to be worried about, the few that appeared to be Muggles were staring at their neighbors whom they had never seen dress so strangely.

The whispers from the people were starting to grow and Severus could hear them through the holes and cracks in the front windows. Harry suddenly refused the bottle and started to grunt and coo as tears filled his eyes.

"Maybe you are just as spoiled as your father." Severus hissed as he set the bottle down and not so gently pressed the boy to his shoulder. He started to pat firmly and eventually heard the little hiccup and burp he was looking for.

Any other requirements for the child's care would have to wait at this point because Severus heard a large crash from the back of the house near the kitchen. Laying the boy down on the couch and covering him with a blanket was the best he could do as he drew his wand and started his journey through the house.

When Severus reached the kitchen he allowed his eyes to scan the room and felt himself sigh in frustration when he realized whom Dumbledore had sent to collect the boy.

"Severus? What yer doing 'ere?" Came Hagrid's gruff voice.

"Never mind. Follow me." Severus said putting his wand away and turning to lead the giant oaf back towards the front entryway. It was interesting to hear the colossal man fit through the narrow doorframes and down the skinny halls of a regular sized house. There were a lot of grunts and shifting as Hagrid followed as quickly as his size would allow.

Severus picked up the boy and removed the blanket from his face, "He has been fed and I changed him into travel clothes. He is as prepared as he can be for his journey to Surey." Severus kept his voice low and even, making sure to keep as much emotion out of it as he could.

Hagrid looked surprised but didn't seem like he had any other reason to stay. They stood there in silence and Severus felt a nerve in his face twitch. Suddenly Hagrid gave a great big sniff and a sigh, "Bless me, 'is eyes looks jus like 'is mommies." In the dark Severus couldn't be sure but he thought there was a small smile hidden in the dense thickness that was the giant's beard.

"Oh dear, is she still…" Hagrid's head motioned towards the stairs and then he looked down at young Harry.

Severus didn't want to tell the giant beast of a man anything but the last thing he wanted was for the man to try to make it up the stairs to see for himself.

"Yes." Severus said slow and evenly, his eyes stared off into the dark as he struggled to keep his composure.

"All righ' then. I'll take 'im ter Dumbledore and make sure 'es safe n' sound. Thanks Severus." Hagrid said turning to go, he was a few feet away when he hesitated and turned, "Did you uh, change 'is…. You know." Hagrid said nodding toward the boy as he looked back to the dark man.

Severus held his blank face and with out saying a word strode past the man and up the stairs. It wasn't his responsibility now; the boy was out of the picture. The giant could handle any of the more difficult issues with the child; Severus had to take care of someone else.

00000

It had been a few days since Voldermort had supposedly been defeated and the Wizarding world was still rejoicing. Severus sat in the dark corner of a pub taking large swigs from a frothy beverage that smoked and bubbled whenever he set it down.

Every so often, when his drink would empty, he would tap the tip of his glass with his wand, which then would be refilled with very strong ale. He watched as the people around him drank, sang and danced to rejoice and celebrate the end of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. There were even a Goblin or two who had shown up and were now currently struggling to get the bar master's attention.

Many of these people had been here over night and the pub hadn't closed or kicked them out. It was Severus's assumption that the Bar Master too was celebrating with his patrons. The sun was just over the horizon and the man in the corner could tell by the color of the sky that it was time to go.

Severus took one last swig of his drink before he stood and pulled his cloak on around his neck. He left a sickle on the table and strode out, many of the people watching him go.

The cool morning air was a relief after the hot stuffy atmosphere of the pub, and Severus allowed his cloak to flow out and around him so that some of the heat could escape. He had always preferred the cold days of winter to the sweltering nights of summer. He moved quickly down the road and eventually came to a bend; he turned and walked down further until he came to his destination.

The cemetery seemed more welcoming to him then the pub had and he basked in the silence and the smell of the pines.

"Here rather early aren't you Severus?" Came a kindly voice from behind him.

Hiding a sneer Severus turned, "I wanted to enjoy the quiet before all the others showed and marred my memories of her with the falsities of their friendship."

"It is said that one man's perception of the people he loves can be twisted and skewed into self deprivation when he stands alone and not with others."

"Once again Dumbledore, your ability to speak so eloquently only compliments the timing to which you always seem to appear." Severus barked back.

"Severus, I understand that things have been complicated for you these past few days…."

"Understand? You don't understand anything." Severus snapped as he turned his back to the old wizard and gazed down into the dark hole that would soon eat up the woman whom he still dreamed of.

"I only wish to give my condolences and to offer you…"

"What could you possibly offer me? I have only ever wanted one thing from you in my entire life and that was to protect and keep Lily safe. You couldn't do that and what's worse you come here to offer condolences and philosophical entrails."

"I came here to offer you a position at Hogwarts."

The silence between them rang clear as the morning birds and the pines stood listening to see what the younger man's reaction would be.

"A position… at the school?" Severus said with a hint of confusion and wonder in his voice.

"Indeed. You would be Potions Master and the head of the house of Slytherine. I would also allow a permanent home for you there as long as you would like to stay."

He thought a moment and then, "Potions Master? Why not Defense Against the Dark Arts…. Considering what I have been doing the past year, perhaps you should consider the benefits of having a former Death-Eater teaching Defense. I have experience with the Dark Arts and could surely be more beneficial to the school and it's students in that position."

"Surely this is true, but there is a new young man who has already received the position. He is also quite adequate and he shows much promise. I think he will go over very well with the students and staff. I imagine Potions Master would be a better position at the moment due to…."

"You don't think the other teachers would trust me teaching that position considering what I've done in the past." Severus said glancing at the headstone. The sight of Lily's name upon it almost made him wretch up the ale he had drank down only a little bit ago.

"That is not what I was implying, many of the teachers are excited to meet you in fact. They have heard that you helped supply important information. But the truth is, you are a genius when it comes to potions, and I believe that your skills and abilities in that area could truly enhance student's perception of potion making I dare say you could have been a protégée had Slughorn gotten his hands on you."

"Flattery doesn't work on me Dumbledore." Severus said in a stony tone.

Dumbledore sighed and pulled from his bright purple cloak a box of buttered taffies. "Alas, you are quit perceptive. I shall give you another truth then, there will be a particular student I would ask you to keep an eye on in the years to come."

Severus's head snapped to look at the man and his eyes grew narrow, "Potter?"

"His name is already down to be accepted when he comes of age. Until then, you could work as a member of our faculty. I would only request you check in on the boy once a month to see how he is coming along and report back to me as needed."

"And once he comes of age to attend school? Surely you don't expect me to be friends with the boy?"

"I should say not, I am well aware of the issues that lay in rest with your thoughts of the child. He is after all, half of his father as well as his mother. The turmoil you feel towards the boy will not be something you can easily remove Severus. Do you remember the conversation we had before you came here that night? Before you came to find Lily."

Severus felt his heart start to pump faster and his eyes shut in bitter defeat.

"Voldamort will return Severus, and I find you are the best hope the boy has of surviving. Of all the people that Lily would want to protect her son I am sure you would be the one."

"You cannot say things like that in full certainty. You do not know, the last time we talked she told me she never wanted to see me again. I am fairly certain that means she did not have any intentions for me to become the guardian of her child. Besides, I recently became aware of the fact that Potter left the care of his son to that fool Sirius Black. So the promise I made in your office is void. Offer Black a job and have him watch the boy if you are so concerned."

"Sirius Black is currently under the inquiry of the Ministry Severus. He may not be able to care for Harry in the near future, if he is preoccupied with Dementores. That is why I have asked you. "

Severus felt his brow furrow and he turned his head sideways to look at the elderly wizard with confusion.

"What?" Severus asked.

"The ministry believes that Sirius's loyalty needs to be taken into consideration." Dumbledore said, there was a tone in the man's voice; he apparently did not believe they were valid suspicions.

"There are rumors that he was in line with Voldermort. Some rumors say that he is the one who led the dark lord to Godric's Hollow. In any case, Peter Pettigrew is dead."

Severus felt his breath hitch in his throat. Black had been a lot of things, including a dog and a cad. But a traitor? There had been many times when Black had done things for Potter that no one else ever would. There had been rumors of their inseparability. Had Lily not turned Potter's head many would have considered the two men a couple. They were brothers though, first and foremost. Severus had hated them with ever fiber of his being but he knew that Black would have died rather then betray his friends.

"I am not sure… Black wouldn't… I was never aware of Black in the Dark Lord's circle… I would have known..." Severus trailed off and couldn't bring himself to defend the man. Deep down Severus knew Black would have died for Lily, just like Black would have died for Potter. They were more loyal to each other then dogs to a master, it made Severus sick to think of it. However, the words of reassurance and defense wouldn't leave his lips.

"Do you not believe Sirius is capable of such atrocity?" Dumbledore seemed to press.

"I don't think…." Severus stopped himself, however, because there were murmurs coming from just outside the cemetery.

"We will finish this conversation at a later time. Send me an owl no later then the end of this month if you wish to accept my offer." Dumbledore placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He then turned and headed to the entrance of the cemetery to greet the others.

After that Severus kept his distance. He watched all the ceremony, listened to all the speeches and kept to the shadows of the trees. He paid little attention when James was lowered but when Lily was lowered he couldn't keep his eyes off the casket. They would be buried together; to some it would seem romantic. To Severus it meant that any time he came to visit he would have to see James's names right next to hers.

This was only the beginning of Severus's torment, but little did he know that his torment would drive him to take part in the greatest lie ever told. This was the beginning of his destiny.


	2. Hogwarts my Acquaintance

**A/n: Sorry about the lack of Author's note the previous chapter, in a hurry to post I forgot to write it. As it were, this is my second attempt at a Harry Potter fanfic and I realize this is not an easy fan base to write for. Details, names dates and times, occurrences are almost impossible to remember how to spell not to mention who they are in the book. The only thing I ask you to take into consideration while you read this is the idea that Severus was not always so controlled and solid. I imagine he grew to be that way after Lily's death. So for the first few years Severus will have a large temper, be an emotional rainbow as he grows and mourns Lily and their memories together. I also ask you help me with names. In the first chapter I realize I was spelling Lily's name wrong half way through. If I misspell another name please tell me. Otherwise I will be drawing from both the books and the movies and intend to mainly focus on Severus's P.O.V as well as Harry's when he comes to the right age. Since this is my fanfiction there will be some inconsistencies with books and movies and I mean no disrespect to either the Author J.K. Rowling or the large amount of people who helped to create the movies. **

**On a separate note, I have NO CLUE if this will be slash or not. I marked this as M because there will be violence, instances of mental instability and several occasions of sexuality (mostly in dreams). **

**IF this turns into a slash I will let you know but as of now I do not plan for that. **

**Another note, there will be a few Dumbledore Severus sense but none are meant to be slashy either. **

**Please read and enjoy. **

**Chapter Two**

**Hogwarts my Acquaintance **

A warm breeze blew in through the large window that Severus sat next to. He did not have anything with him, save the small black back that hung from his waist. His black cloak hung around him like death as his miserable face looked out the window. He was pale and the dark circles under his eyes showed his lack of sleep, his long thin fingers shaking as he tapped them on his knee.

Being in a place like this made his heart heavy, the ach in his chest was making him dizzy at times. How long would it take to stop mourning like a child? Severus knew life wasn't fair, but the amount of time he had spent crying, or throwing things about, taking long walks and then laying in bed for hours with out truly feeling anything but guilt and remorse, it was maddening.

He saw a dark brown owl fly by the window and a sudden memory came to his mind. His knuckles turned white as he fisted the edge of his cloak in frustration, trying to stop the memory from surfacing.

"_But Sev, with out love life just isn't worth living." Lily laughed as she allowed him to push her on the swing. _

"_Love, my parents don't love each other and they don't love me. I don't think love is an emotion that everyone can feel." _

_Lily jumped from the swing and fell to her knees rolling down the hill near by. Severus quickly ran after her laughing as she came to a stop and lay looking up at the pale blue sky, "Sev, everyone can feel love for someone or something." _

"_Could I love you?" Severus asked giving her a hopeful smile. _

_Lily cocked her head to the side and stood holding her hand out to him, the boy took it greedily and Lily giggled, "The love shared between friends is one of the best kinds!" _

_The two ran off towards the rest of the playground, Severus with a real smile on his face for the first time in a long time. _

"Professor Snape?"

Severus came back from the memory and breathed out heavily, he looked up at the older witch before him. He quickly centered himself and gave a twitch of a smile, "Please forgive me, I have recently… I am not myself today." He stopped himself from sharing too much. Severus had decided it was time he change his personality, drawing himself inward he sat up straighter, "I am not a professor yet, you can call me Severus Professor McGonagall."

"None sense, when you sign this you will officially become a teacher at this school. You will also be the head of the house of Slytherine. I expect you to give me a list of your own house rules within the week and to have your curriculum for your classes drawn up and handed in as well."

McGonagall seemed just as tight and hard as she was when Severus was in school. He remembered the day they had been sorted and how mad he had been to be separated from Lily; he had begged McGonagall to switch him to Gryffindor after the feast that first night. Of course she had refused saying that the Sorting Hats decisions were final.

He had sat on his four-post bed, knees to his chest looking at the other sleeping boys. He had never felt so alone but the next day Lily had found him at breakfast and asked if he would want to eat breakfast outside with her. Lily had been such a lifesaver. She hadn't turned on him just because they had been sorted into different houses.

"As it were, you may call me Minerva when we are not in front of the students and I shall call you Severus as well. Formality between teachers is saved for when we are in front of the students." There was a silence for a moment as Severus nodded and leaned forward to sign the parchment that was before him.

He then stood and pulled his cloak tighter; he was always cold these days despite the sun burning brightly. As he turned to leave with out saying anything to McGonagall he heard her make a noise and a turned back, "Severus… I don't know what you have been through, but as it is… I am sorry for your lose."

The man couldn't bring himself to thank her, he did manage a nod as he turned and strode out the door of her office. He was only four or so large strides away when once again McGonagall stopped him, her head was leaning out of her office door as she called, "Don't forget to stop in and see Dumbledore, he always wants to speak with the new teachers! I am sure you remember the way Severus, the password is Gumdrop!"

Severus didn't look back as he moved quickly down the hall. It took him a moment to remember where to go, it had been so long since he had been in this school. The frustration was growing and Severus had to clutch his fist to keep his temper under control. He stopped a moment as he turned down another hall and cursed as he looked down each hallway as his mind started to sizzle.

_And you wonder why Potter seemed the better option to Lily… you can't even find your way through the God forsaken castle! _

Hr tried to hush the voice that was crawling up into his brain. Severus had several moments of further inward struggle before he finally breathed in a sigh of relief as he found the giant golden gargoyle that lead to Dumbledore's room.

Severus spoke the password and took a deep breath as he stepped onto the first stair and rose up. He waited a moment and then walked up to the big wooden door and knocked. There was no response and Severus grew agitated, he pushed the door open and came to see the office was empty.

Stepping in the door the young man looked around and realized it hadn't changed a bit; there was absolutely no difference. The night he had apparated outside the office door it had been dark. Severus hadn't been able to see much of anything. But now he gazed at the walls and shelves covered from floor to the endless ceiling with bits and pieces and knicks and knacks and thingy's and doohickeys and just about any other silly word to describe junk.

On the perch behind the large desk sat Faux and the bird stared at him suspiciously.

A pressure in his head made him raise his hands to his eyes as he leaned against a very familiar wall and took in a deep breath.

"_Mr. Snape, Miss. Evans, I sincerely hope that neither of you were responsible for what happened at dinner tonight. Mr. Potter's goblet wouldn't have exploded like that with out a very complex spell put upon it. I dare say the one who did it could be in very serious trouble." Came Dumbledore's soft and gentle voice from behind the desk. _

_Severus looked to see Lily's eyes were red and guilty and terrified. He knew what he had to do. _

"_It was me sir… I did it. Lily tried to stop me, but James had shoved passed us and knocked Lily over today. He didn't even help her pick up her things… I thought… I just wanted to…please don't punish her because I misbehaved." Severus said looking at her then at his feet. _

_Dumbledore stared at the two and then gentle clapped his hands together, "Mr. Snape, fifty points will be taken from Slytherine and you will serve two weeks detention with Professor McGonagall. I hope there won't be any more disturbances this year from either of you." _

_The two nodded and ran from the office completely missing the older man's smiles as he chuckled at them. _

"_You didn't have to do that Severus." Lily had said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. _

"_Potter deserved it, he was rude and always seems to tease you in the worst ways." _

"_He is just immature but I wasn't talking about the exploding goblet. I meant you didn't have to take the whole punishment." _

_Severus was stopped as Lily pulled on his arm and the young boy turned to her, "Come on Lil, I wasn't going to let you take the blame. You had nothing to do with it." _

"_But I gave you the idea… it was my idea you just carried it out." _

"_Lily, you will never have to take punishment for anything as long as we are together. I will always be here to protect you. Even if it's just from McGonagall's detentions." _

_Lily smiled and as she often did wrapped her arm through his and leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked towards the Great Hall. _

"_I am so lucky to have a friend like you Sev." _

"Friend." Severus said softly as he came back from his memories, he still stared at the very spot he had stood with Lily so long ago. How he wished he could have made her understand. That hadn't been a silly childish comment that had been a promise. He would always protect her, and yet somehow Lily was dead. He had failed her in so many ways and now-

"Ah Severus, it is good to see you here. I am elated you took up my offer to be on the staff here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore had appeared out of nowhere and Severus tightly pulled in his flooding emotions. He fought back the tears that had just about surfaced and suddenly he realized he was still leaning against the wall. He shoved himself up and stood straight with his hands behind his back.

Dumbledore crossed to him and circled once slowly mumbling as he did so. Severus felt his heart start to speed up, he remembered the day the Dark Lord had sized him up like this. Right before he had had the dark mark burned into his flesh and despite the obvious change of scenery that slow circle made Severus want to cringe. He stood firm though and waited as he had done when Voldamort had been the predator.

Dumbledore was a different predator because he wasn't looking for weakness or for anything that may have made Severus unworthy, oh no, he was looking for what made Severus human, he was looking for Severus's soul.

Holding firm and not allowing the man to spook him Severus cleared his throat and Dumbledore came to stand before him.

"McGonagall asked me to come and see you. She seemed to think you enjoy meeting your new staff members despite the fact we have met many times before."

"Oh yes! Tradition dear boy it's just tradition. I like to welcome each teacher individually and ask if they should require anything while they stay here. Liquorish wand?"

Severus shook his head and did not say anything; he simply stood and stared at the man. Silence rang true as Severus was looking for that satisfactory gleam in the old wizard's eye so he could dismiss himself.

"A good start would be, perhaps, a personal potions chamber? Surely you do not want to work on your own personal brews in the class room." Dumbledore said. It would seem the man wasn't going to let him leave until Severus asked for something.

Remaining silent Dumbledore approached the young man and placed both hands on his shoulders. "Severus, I don't expect you to grow comfortable here overnight. This type of thing is rather outside your usual place of existence. However, help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who need it. If you change your mind and desire anything, my dear boy, you tell me and it shall be done. I am here to help you and to give you any advice you might need."

Dumbledore turned his back and headed towards his desk as Severus reluctantly spoke up, "Perhaps a…" Severus stopped as his eyes fell on to that damn spot a few feet away.

The old man waited, staring at the dark eyes of the man who had suddenly grown pale and shaky, "Nothing, I will tell you if I require anything further." Severus turned and headed towards the door.

"Oh and Severus, I would ask you to come back here after dinner so that we can discuss a few things about the beginning of the school year yes? Once you have settled in and eaten something?"

Severus gave a curt nod and removed himself quickly from the room. After a moment of hesitation he glanced back up the stairs and shook his head. He had never really needed anything from anyone. He wouldn't start begging like a peasant and he sure as hell would not ask for help from Albus Dumbledore. In so many ways he hated that man, the man who let Lily die. But at the same time, he hated himself because he was also to blame; his blind ignorance of the situations that had unfolded could not be barred from his memory forever. Eventually Severus would have to pay for his sins.

OOOO

Severus had been in his personal chambers; the only thing that had been in them at first was a shabby bed, a few cupboards and a closet. The fireplace was nice and big and would produce an obscene amount of heat. In the dungeons however, heat was in short supply. The room was spacious but in no way was it fancy nor did it show any sign of sophistication. Severus would have to redo this entire place.

The personal bathroom and a tiny kitchen were off down a very short corridor and Severus couldn't imagine what he would need that ridiculous looking kitchen for anyway. Pulling his wand from out of his sleeve Severus muttered a few words and the kitchen vanished. With another wave of his hand the bathroom was extended into the now empty kitchen area. His bathroom was large now and he would have more then enough room for his potions and other hygienic items.

The room seemed a bit larger too; it was rather humorous to think of how easily the castle could change according to the nature of the person residing in it. Severus was surprised the whole bloody thing hadn't capsized right off the side of its perch and crumbled into the lake. With the corridors shifting and the staircases changing and everything else, perhaps it was only a matter of time.

It took him only an hour to retrieve all of his belongings from his small pouch. Severus having placed an extension charm on it, found most of his belongings filled the room quickly as his wand and some simple magic did most of the work. Turning to the bed, Severus gave one last quick flick and suddenly a large four-post bed took the elder ones place. The blanket's deep emerald green seemed to be the only color in the room and the silver details sewn into the edges shined in the dim light. He set his pouch on a near by table and left heading to his office to see what he would have to look forward to for the next fifty years or so.

Perhaps that was presumptuous but Severus couldn't help feeling that Dumbledore wanted to make this a permanent situation. It was very rare to have a teacher at Hogwarts for only a year or two but who knew what waited for Severus in the future.

Severus arrived at his office and noticed that there were a lot of items left behind from Professor Slughorn. He would have to go through everything and take inventory so he knew what was here and what he would need to purchase. A sudden feeling of fatigue came over him and Severus decided he would have to tackle this task later. He glanced around the office again and realized just how messy it was, he would have to clean this place out as quickly as possible. There was a rustle from a pile of crimpled papers on the floor and Severus didn't even bother to wonder. He strode from the office rather put out.

As he walked down the hall, not sure what he should do he heard rushed footsteps behind him and turned to see the medi-wizard Madam Pomfrey hurrying towards him.

"Oh Professor excuse me! I have been looking all over for you!" She looked slightly flushed but her eyes were warm and her smile was kind so he stopped and gave a small bow, "Madam Pomfrey, what can I do for you?"

"Oh please, call me Poppy!" The medi-witch said with a small laugh. Severus gave her a soft look as he waited, the woman stared at him a moment before regaining her composure, "Dear me, I am so excited for the children to come I have forgotten myself. I was wondering, well it is, you see Horace that is to say Professor Slughorn used to brew my medi-potions for me… I was wondering if I were to reimburse you for your troubles… perhaps you would consider… its just there are so many children and sometimes I run short…and Dumbledore said you were quite talented…"

"It would be my pleasure to help you take care of the children whilst I am at the school Poppy." Severus said with another slight bow of his head.

Poppy's smile spread across her face and she seemed to relax a bit. "Oh that is wonderful of you Severus. I am relieved. I was worried I would never make enough sleeping draught. A lot of the first years have a hard time sleeping away from home and they flood in almost nightly for the first few weeks."

"Anything I can do to help." Severus said trying to keep his face expressionless and his voice calm.

"Wonderful! I will have a list prepared for you sometime this week and if you require any help just let me know!" Poppy sounded grateful and Severus gave a third and final bow of his head as he turned to go.

"Oh, one more thing!"

Severus reluctantly stopped and realized that this was the third time a professor had stopped him as he tried to walk away. Severus slowly turned to look at the woman and gave his very best effort to not curse her.

"The night before the students arrive on the train we have a little get together, the other teachers and I. If you would like to come… well… we would love to see you there."

The invitation was friendly and Severus could tell her offer was genuine. He did not want to agree since he had no desire to go. Instead he gave a small smirk and said, "If I get all of my work done for my classes, and of course if I can get all your medi-potions brewed I will most definitely make an appearance."

Poppy gave a hopeful smile and a nod too, but they both knew he would probably not even remember the invite. Severus turned and again, for the third time and continued his walk.

The grounds of the school hadn't changed much since he had been a student and he subconsciously found himself taking a very familiar path. He walked along the lakes edge and then as he grew further from the main grounds of the school he slowly walked up a hill. The hill extended up higher and higher until suddenly he came upon an old elder tree. It seemed to sag a little; perhaps it was tired after years of students climbing in it.

Severus turned to look out over the small valley below that led to the school. He sat a moment and allowed his cloak to bellow out around him as he took a deep breath and suddenly felt like the air up here was the sweetest he had tasted in years. It smelled familiar and the surrounding tree and tall grasses made him almost smile as he settled in and lay on the ground.

He pulled out his wand and with a slow flick of his wrist a small sprout of lilies had popped up from the ground. He flicked his wand a few more times lazily as here and there up and down the hillside and under the tree small sprouts of lilies grew to full bloom. Severus knew he was not the best at this kind of magic. The lilies would not last long and he often wondered why he could never sustain charms and simple spells like this one. Perhaps it was because he lacked the devotion required to perform such beautiful magic.

The smells of the flowers filled his nose and against his will he faded into another moment of his life.

"_How do you do that? I am going to fail my charms class if I can't get these bloody things to work!" _

_Severus violently flicked his wand at the three small balls that lay on the grass before him. The Elder tree swayed in the breeze and Severus looked over to Lily who had her three balls spinning gently around as if they were waltzing. _

"_You are trying to hard Severus. Look, it doesn't take much, just a light flick and then pull the tip of your wand up and just like that…" _

"_Yeah, just like that. It's easy for you… I can't get mine to float let alone look so whimsical." _

"_Think of something happy, or something you enjoy doing. Think of someone special and I promise you will be able to do this." _

_Severus sighed but when Lily leaned against him and shoved he smirked and picked up his wand. Severus tried to clear his thoughts, something happy, something he enjoying doing… someone special…" _

_Lily. _

"_Sev look! You got it!" The girl's red hair was tussled due to the breeze but she leaned over and gave him a small hug and a big smile as the boy watched his three balls spin around like rotating planets. _

"_Told you, now try the flower one. See if you can do this one." Lily flicked her wand and waved it gently over the grass, the tips of the blades lightly stroked her wand and soon behind a small trail of flowers popped up. _

"_Why would I want to make flowers grow?" Severus said with a rather dark chuckle. _

_Lily looked at him and seemed a little hurt, "They are just basic charms and spells. You said you wanted to learn some of the simple stuff that I did for Maddie and Dana. I grew flowers for Maddie when she was sick and I made a doll dance for Dana when her pet owl passed away. It's not about how useful it is for you but how wonderful it can be for others." _

_Severus felt guilty and tried to hide his shaking hands, he always shook when he realized he had upset her. _

_He gave a reassuring smile and said, "Your right, sorry Lil." _

_The girl nodded and repeated the motion adding more flowers to the already crowded flowerbed. _

"_So no words right? Just think flowers and move the wand like that?" _

"_One of the simplest forms of magic there is Sev. All you have to do is want to make something special for someone else. The perfect example is I know you like dandelions." Lily waved her wand for the third time and a rather large group of dandelions grew in the center of the small trail of flowers before her. _

_Severus smiled, "Weeds can be beautiful too." _

_Lily nodded and leaned over to take his hand, which shakily held his wand. _

"_Just a quick little wave and think of something that you would like to give to someone." _

_Severus imagined a beautiful bed of roses for Lily to smell every day and a few feet away a rose bush bloomed with several large white, yellow and pink roses. _

"_Oh Severus! That is beautiful! I told you you had it in you!" Lily quickly got on her hands and knees and crawled toward the bush. Severus blushed when he caught himself admiring her backside and looked away as the guilt flooded him. _

"_Wonderful, simply beautiful!" Lily kept praising as she took the time to smell each flower individually and then turned and gave him a great big smile. _

"_You really are full of surprises." Lily had sad as she came back over to sit next to Severus. They both leaned back against the trunk of the tree and took in a deep breath. _

_When they exhaled Severus gave a small sigh and said, "It always smells sweeter up here. Even with out all your frilly flowers." His voice was joking and Lily gently nudged him with her elbow, "I think the breezes up here come from over the mountains. I hear on the other side it's just fields and fields of flowers. I would love to go there and see if it's true." _

"_Maybe someday we can adventure over the mountains then." _

"_Don't be silly that would take forever." _

"_Well, once we graduate we kind of have forever. We could make it our last big trip before we do the whole growing up thing." Severus said, secretly holding his breath that she would agree. _

"_Hmm, well one last adventure before we start our real lives would be pretty cool. Especially if it's to a field of flowers and if my folks don't freak out then sure thing Sev. Count me in." _

_Severus felt his heart jump and knew that spending a few months lost in the mountains with Lily would be the best time of his life. _

"_Come on, it's almost time for dinner. Race you down the hill!" Lily shouted as she stood and ran off. Severus watched her for a moment before he too took off at a sprint. Last time she had won she rubbed it in his face for days. _

Even though deep down Severus had known the trip would never happen the idea had often filled his mind and at times when he was alone or when the rest of his house was asleep he would lay awake and think of what wonderful adventures into the mountains they could have but would never take and it became his most cherished secret.

Severus still lay there, the sun had sunken further behind the distant mountain peaks and that sweet smell still filled his mind and his nose and he felt dizzy. Sitting up didn't help either. He looked over to his right to see the old rose bush that he had made such a long time ago. It had grown into a ghastly thing; vines reaching out down the hill, others reaching towards plants near by. No roses rested upon the thorny vines and Severus felt his heart sink.

That rose bush was the splitting image of Severus's life. He had tried to be the type of person Lily had wanted him to be. Kind, caring, not selfish or mean and in the end she had wanted to see him bloom into the man she would want to be with. But his thorns had grown long, his vines had reached out and started to choke her and instead of following her into the light he had shied away and tried to drag her into the dark.

As the years went by and the pain of watching her grow further away from him had made him bitter and angry, his thorns had gotten worse and instead of a bush he had grown into a nest of bloody thistles and thorns and his vines wrapped tightly and suffocated the life out of anything beautiful and kind that came near him.

Lily had been so far away but never out of his reach and soon his shadow had fallen on their house and now his misadventures had taken their toll. Lily had been lost.

Tears streamed but he didn't snivel, he was beyond that. He cried silently now since he had recently been trying to control his emotions and outward gestures. As much as he hated to admit it, Hogwarts was his last chance at having a relatively decent life. No one else would have had him despite the rumors that he was an informant. If he allowed his back lashes to affect those around him, if he couldn't control his rage and frustration then he soon wouldn't have a home here either.

Yes, Severus had to change and if he was to have any shred of happiness or at least simplicity in his life it would be here at Hogwarts and he would not be able to act like a child here. Life wasn't fair and Severus Snape was not going to allow it to be cruel to him anymore.

Severus got up and headed down the hill to get something to eat, he wished with all his might that Lily could be in front of him running, challenging him to keep up.

OOOOO

"You wished to see me after I… settled in." Severus said reluctantly as he once again faced Dumbledore. Twice in one day was really too much but he had little choice. His pep talk earlier had allowed him the strength of nerve and the temperance of his emotion so that he could make it through this conversation with out snapping.

"Indeed I did, thank you for remembering. Would you like a butter taffy?"

Severus shook his head again, little did he know the offers of candy from the old man would never stop despite how often Severus turned it down.

"Not a loss I suppose, your refusal simply means that there is more for myself to enjoy and I do enjoy a good taffy. Now, on to business, we have recently in the past month or so discussed certain expectations that come with this teaching position have we not?"

Severus suddenly realized where this was going and he gritted his teeth, set his jaw and clenched his fists behind his back.

"I can tell by your silence that you remember. I've never met a man whom I can so easily have a one sided conversation with. You, my boy, are few for words but big on charisma."

Severus still stood silent; he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep his temper from flaring. He could never tell if the old wizard was insulting him or praising him.

"Now, as it were you agreed to visit with Lily's son Harry once a month."

"Excuse me sir? Visit? If I remember your instructions were to check in on him once a month to make sure he was adjusting and doing well. There was never a word about visiting."

Dumbledore rounded his desk slowly and gave taffy to the large red phoenix that sat staring at the two. The bird took it up and swallowed the piece whole, "There have a been a few changes and we shall go over each one individually, should you agree to the terms we will sign a small contract that will not allow me to change the terms nor allow you to neglect your responsibilities."

"I never agreed…"

"Agree or not you made a promise to me and a promise to Lily and you will at least listen to what I have to say before you refuse."

Dumbledore's voice had been rather strong for that single moment. Severus kept his composure, however, and nodded once so that Dumbledore knew he was at least listening.

"Thank you, now Severus, I do not expect you to take on the full role of guardian. I do not expect you to spend every day with Harry and I don't expect you to learn to like him or ever feel more then the blatant responsibility of keeping him safe. Do you understand and agree?"

Severus nodded again and waited.

"Now, as I have said before your only responsibility would be to visit him once a month for the first few years. He will not be able to talk much and he won't remember you at all but I require that you visit as I have said and make sure that everything seems to be in… working order."

"Sir?" Severus asked with question.

"I will not, as muggles say, beat around the bush. The dark Lord attacked Harry only a month ago. He has since been with his aunt and uncle and has not had any form of medi-wizards or witches look him over. I simply want to be sure in the next year or two of his development that there are no… hindrances to Harry's most basic abilities. Motor skills, recognition and of course the most important his ability to be happy. Also, I would find great pleasure in it if you could bring a smallish animal around him at some point when he is three or four to see how he responds to it."

Severus raised an eyebrow but didn't ask.

Dumbledore continued, "When he reaches the age of five you can discontinue the visits and from then on pop in once a month with a concealment charm. Just to make sure he continues to grow up happy and healthy and that no last minute side effects seem to reside somewhere in his subconscious."

"And what of the year he comes to Hogwarts."

"At that time, you will stop watching him until he returns back to his aunt and uncles at the end of the year. Once a month during the summer means that once he starts school you will only need to check on him a few months a year. Only when he is not here under my protection." For some reason Dumbledore had repeated himself multiple times using different sentences. Obviously this part was important to him.

"At the end of his seventh year you will be allowed to discontinue your duties to the boy and will be able to continue work here or move on as you see fit."

"You want me to watch that_ boy_ for 17 years?" Severus asked taking hold of his cloak behind his back and gripping it with all his might.

"You knew what this was when you signed up for it. Once a month isn't as bad as you think and the years will go by quickly. You will be very busy with students and exams, homework and helping Madam Pomfrey. Not to mention Quidditch games, extra curricular activates and what I am sure will become your favorite pass time, detention. And I am assuming if your class is as complex as your personality I think plenty of students will need tutoring. You will hardly notice that one day a month."

Severus stood there like a statue and weighed his options; the only reason he was at the school is because Dumbledore wanted him to watch Harry. If he refused he may be sent away. Lily would want him to help Dumbledore protect her son. Severus recalled the boy's eyes and felt a muscle in his face twitch.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers before he put his head down and said, "Hand me that damn quill Albus…before I change my bloody mind."

Dumbledore smiled softly and quickly handed the man a quill, which had a dark red feather. No doubt from the old wizard's pet that sat there, the soul witness to Severus's act of servitude. When Severus signed he noticed the ink was red, it shined a moment and then faded into am almost black color. His signature was underlined and he held the quill back to Dumbledore who took it and went to sign as well, at the last minute he stopped though and Severus looked confused.

"One last item I forgot. It is written here that neither you nor I can change what was agreed upon tonight, but there is a clause that allows me to add any given paragraph should an addendum be made."

Severus glared at the man and just about pulled out his wand to light the blasted parchment on fire, "However, no additions can be made unless we both sign in agreement."

The younger man relaxed a little and through clenched teeth said, "Is there anything _else_ you forgot to mention?"

Dumbledore thought a moment and then signed on the line saying, "Ah yes, once a month when you visit the boy you are required to come back here to my office when you are done to give me an update. I want to be kept informed. If you forget I will send you an owl every hour until you come and tell me how the visit went."

"Anything else?" Severus managed to say with less resentment.

The old man looked at him as the parchment rolled up and floated to Dumbledore's hand. It disappeared when he snapped his finger and he glanced at Severus with a small smile.

"It wasn't on the contract my dear boy but if you ever need to talk or would just like to have a cup of tea I am always available."

Severus nodded once and then gave a slight bow, much the same as what he had given to Madam Pomfrey and he turned to leave.

"Tomorrow Severus, please visit the boy tomorrow."

"You and your staff should really practice finishing everything you have to say before the person you are talking to turns to walk away!" And with that Severus slammed the door and descended the steps.

Tomorrow, he had to go see the little brat tomorrow. This was the beginning of the most annoying part of his life and he was going to have to learn to deal with it.


	3. Day One Month One

**A/N: From here on out the chapter will mostly focus on Severus visiting Harry, a few of his early classes, some experiences with other members of the Hogwarts staff and several conversations with Dumbledore. I to appreciate advice and ideas but I also would like honest opinions of my writing style. I enjoy this site because the readers can offer constructive critiques and advice on how to improve my writing ability. Please enjoy chapter 3.**

**Chapter 3**

**Day One Month One**

Severus Snape stood outside of the plain muggle home at number 4 Private Drive. He stared at the dull colors, cold windows and ugly roof.

This was where Potter was left? This crude house in this abhorrently muggle neighborhood? Severus continued to stare as his cloak moved lazily in the hot breeze. He had to visit Potter in such a horrible place? There was not a single magical feel about anything. It was gray and dreary and just horrible. There was almost an inkling of pity for the child that worked in the back of Severus's mind.

He pushed it aside as he heard faint taps from shoes that moved quickly. Turning he saw an older woman approaching him, she was short and Severus considered her to look rather glum and gray, she matched this neighborhood rather nicely.

She walked right up to Severus as he raised an eyebrow, "You are Ms. Figg I presume?" Severus asked as he looked at her faded clothing and light brown stockings.

"I am."

"Well?" Severus asked skipping over the pleasantries.

"I have been watching the house and haven't seen much of the boy or the muggles. The aunt rarely leaves and the husband only leaves to go to work and water the flowerbeds."

"How am I supposed to visit the child if he never leaves the house?" Severus hissed as he gave the woman a glare.

"Your best bet would be to wait until the uncle leaves and go to the door when just the aunt is home. I've noticed the man can be a little… vicious."

Severus gave her a confused look but didn't ask to elaborate. "I was under the impression that I would need to meet with the boy in private."

"I would think the same but your best chance is to talk to the aunt about setting up a schedule for him. If she never takes him out you may have to speak with her directly. Just make sure the uncle isn't home." She said with a slightly more definite tone.

Severus stared at the house and thought it over in his head, he did not want to have to deal with Petunia, the woman had been wretched as a child and he couldn't imagine her now as an adult.

"You do not think there is any other way?" Severus asked.

"I've noticed one thing while I've lived among these muggles. When the women have children they seldom take them outside for the first few months. They seem a little more protective of their offspring than we are."

"She had a child?" Severus asked in astonishment.

"Yes, a fat little thing, reminds me of a piglet sometimes. He isn't much older then Harry come to think of it."

Severus rolled his eyes, no doubt when Lily had told Petunia she was expecting the woman had jumped on the boat in an attempt to out do her sister. Maybe she thought she would be more talented as a mother since she had been a rather ordinary and lackluster muggle instead of a witch like her sister.

"Is the uncle gone now?" Severus asked.

"I suppose so, it's Monday so he should have left for work about an hour ago. He'd be back around five I should think. I'd be gone by then if I were you boy."

Severus ignored the boy comment and reluctantly thanked the elder witch. As she shuffled off towards a slightly less then well groomed house and when she was inside Severus took a deep breath and headed for the door.

OOO

Knocking on the door had been hard enough, but keeping his composure when Petunia laid eyes on him, well it was safe to say he hadn't ever had such a hard time keeping a straight face. He hadn't been expecting a warm welcome but to have the door slammed in his face as the woman gasped, and then hearing the locks flying shut, it was like she was daring him to come in.

The challenge was accepted and he pulled out his wand quickly, "Alohamora." Severus said softly, as the locks flicked open he grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. The interior of the house almost made him lose his breakfast. Gaudy wallpaper greeted him and the mint green carpet and rather cheap looking wood accent made his face twist in disgust. Severus stepped in and shut the door behind him.

He heard the woman fluttering around in the kitchen, what woman in her right mind would wear heels in the middle of the day as she did house work and took care of her fat pig child.

"Oh Petunia." Severus called with a cold playfulness as he heard a small squeal from the kitchen.

The smirk that spread across his face would be considered dangerous by most, especially someone like Petunia who knew him and what he was capable.

Severus walked down the entry hall and pushed open the kitchen door to see the woman in the corner of her kitchen holding a rolling pin and her rather large son to her chest.

"Stay back!" She said, the anxiety in her face was evident and Severus stepped forward as a simple method of intimidation.

"Please stay back. Don't hurt my son! Please, she was my sister! I never wanted her to die!" This made Severus stop a moment and he stared at her as his stomach twisted in pain at the mention of Lily. The woman thought he had come to harm her? Part of him thought it was funny, she ought to be scared of him, but the damn rolling pin she was holding didn't hinder his continued advances.

"Please, I hated her but I did care! I loved her too you know! I've never wished harm on her! I was j-just jealous, please don't hurt my son!"

Severus stood straighter and the woman let out a small whimper. He took hold of her upper arm and escorted her out of the kitchen and into the living room. He set her down on the couch less then delicately.

"Enough sniveling. I am not here to harm you or your pig of a son. I am here to see the other brat."

Petunia shot up and raced to stand in front of the only exit, "I may not want that _brat _here, I don't want your kinds magical filth in this house but I won't let you hurt him either." She held her son tighter realizing her words were foolish. She knew what Severus could do to her with just a flick of his wand, but she seemed to make the active decision to not stand down and planted her shaking feet.

"I had no idea you were this noble of a person Petunia. Nor did I realize how foolish you were as well. Your bravery is admirable but misplaced. I am not here to harm anyone. I was sent by Dumbledore to simply check on the boy."

"Check on him? You? I was told you were…" she stopped herself and shifted her son who gave a small gurgle in protest but remained silent. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully and Severus waited to see what she would come up with.

"I didn't think you would be running errands for that man." Was what she ended up finding acceptable and her eyes searched him over. He had changed a lot since she had last seen him. She suddenly seemed to be looking him over, either she was searching for threats to her son or she was curious as to how fully-grown Severus had become.

"I assure you that I never thought I would be doing such a thing either. But I am under oath to protect the boy and as such protect you and your… family."

Severus had lied about that last bit but he thought it might help her to calm down and bring her shrill voice out of the rafters.

"Pro-protect us? F-from what?"

"You don't need to be concerned with _what_ at this point. You simply need to let me check on the boy once a month for the next few years."

"Y-years!? Absolutely not! I cannot have a strange man coming in and out of my house while my husband is away! It would be a scandal! The neighbors would…"

"I assure you Petunia…" the name rolled off his tongue as if he had bit into a lemon and Severus found the need to clear his throat.

"I do not intend to intrude. I am sure we can arrange something. Perhaps you could take the boys to a park once a month, we can decide on one day every month and you can bring the boy to meet me outside of the view of your neighbors. I do not want my presence known anymore then you do."

Petunia thought on this a moment and then asked, "Why do you need to check on him anyway?"

"He watched his mother get killed in front of him Petunia. The Dark Lord attempted to eradicate him. Dumbledore just wants to make sure that the boy is adjusting and that he is acting normal the next year or two as he grows."

"So he is going to be even more abnormal then the rest of you. He is just going to be the biggest freak of them all is he?"

Severus was really losing his temper; he was trying so hard to not hex the woman. He felt a shiver pass through him, it grabed his negative emotions and pulled them to the pit of his stomach.

"Just let me see the brat will you! I do not want to be in this wretched house with you or your pig child any longer then I have to. We can figure out the details when I don't want to hex the bitch right out of you."

Severus strode passed her as her mouth fell open at his blunt insult. Suddenly she was jumping after him, "Wait, I will go get him!" She said as she rushed and laid her son down into a small play pin that was set up near the far side of the kitchen.

"Nonsense I can handle the child. I was the one who fed him the night his mother…" Severus stopped as the woman passed by him and rushed down the hall and up the stairs.

"Just wait!" she said as she disappeared from view and Severus heard a door slam as he waited. But something was telling him to follow her and so he did. Severus rarely ignored his instincts and he would never trust this woman, he would never take her word that everything was okay.

He quickly moved up the stairs and as he reached the landing he heard a baby screaming. The child almost sounded horse, as Severus grew closer. He walked to the only open door and stood in the doorway as he realized the room was completely empty except for a lone crib that was plain, wooden and only had a single pad in the bottom. A small blanket hung over the top railing and Severus looked about the room, which was filled with boxes and dust. The floor didn't even have a rug, just old wooden floorboards that creaked.

"Petunia…" Severus started as his voice rose.

"I didn't want to but Vernon was so upset when he found the boy outside, I just thought it was best to get him out of the way. I didn't want him to…"

"PETUNIA!" Severus yelled again as he strode in and grabbed the child away from her. He noticed the child seemed to weigh slightly less and the red face that stared up at him calmed almost instantly. A familiar hand reached up and played with Severus's hair that hung down near his face.

"I think the boy is colicky, he cries all day every day and won't sleep or eat and I have to keep him locked in here or Vernon yells at him."

"I need to know right now Petunia, is your husband someone we need to consider a threat to this child." Severus said still trying to keep his voice from yelling at the woman.

Petunia looked shocked and quickly came to her husband's defense, "No! No absolutely not! He may have a short temper but he wouldn't hurt a child."

"He wouldn't hurt_ your_ child or he wouldn't hurt _any_ child?" Severus asked glaring at her.

"He wouldn't, no matter how angry he got. He could never…" When Severus gave her a quizzical look she stomped her foot and shouted, "I know you hate me and muggles like me but my husband would never hurt this child! I wouldn't let him. I detest the thing but the abuse would only go so far before I would stop it."

Severus couldn't believe what she had just said but it was the truth, the woman was neglecting the boy by keeping him up here but Severus could sense that she wouldn't let the child die.

"Petunia I am going to say this once and once only, you cannot do this to your nephew. Whether you got along with his mother, whether you hate magic or not you simply cannot allow your disgrace of a husband to force you to keep him up here. He can't even fend for himself!"

"You shouldn't have anything to say about it anyway Severus! You hated the boy's father and I know it. If Dumbledore wasn't making you do this would you really care about how we took care of him?"

Severus stared at her, was she right? If he weren't under a contract to protect this boy would he really care if the boy were properly cared for? He wanted to say yes but part of him, the selfish and angry park of him said no, he wouldn't care.

He looked down again at that face which was now staring up at him with curiosity, those green eyes shined at him and the boy smiled.

_Lily._

"I want you to go make a bottle for him and bring it here and then I want you to shut that door and leave us alone." Petunia hesitated and then Severus yelled, "GO YOU BEAST OF A WOMAN!" Petunia nearly jumped from the room and rushed away.

Severus sighed and looked at the child, he was lighter and it was apparent that he needed to be changed. Severus was not that surprised by the woman's neglect, he knew who Petunia was and she wasn't going to put that much effort into the raising of her sister's offspring.

Finally Petunia returned and to Severus's surprise she also had items to change the boy with. She took him quickly and shoved the bottle into Severus's hand. She lay the boy down and quickly changed him, making sure to get him clean. Severus averted his eyes knowing he did NOT want to have to remember the image of Potter's privates when the boy showed up at Hogwarts in ten years.

Once the boy was changed she wrapped the blanket around him and took the bottle from Severus. She began to feed him and bounce him gently.

Severus observed her and walked to lean against one of the few empty walls in the room.

"Petunia…" Severus started in a soft voice, the woman looked up at him shocked; she had never heard him sound so warm.

"Aside from the issues between you and I… I loved your sister and I regret that I didn't allow you to get to know the real her."

The woman thought about it as she stared down at the tiny baby. "You know, he has her eyes." She said as she continued to bounce him.

"When I first picked him up from the stoop, before I even read the letter I knew he was hers because of his eyes. I didn't know what to feel, I hated her for so long because she was special and I was ordinary. But to know my sister was gone, that I had wasted so much time being petty."

For a split second Severus thought he saw a small twinkle of something in her eyes but then it was gone and the woman shielded herself, "I will raise him, feed him change him until he can do it for himself. But I am warning you Severus. The old man was a fool to leave him here. He won't grow up easy. I don't _want_ him Severus, but I will do my duty as Lily's sister even if I despise the job."

Severus nodded not dwelling on the fact that he had assumed as much when he first walked into this room. When the boy was done eating Petunia burped him quickly and then laid him in his crib.

"Vernon will be back at five, I suggest you be gone by then because if you aren't that wand won't do you much good." Severus smirked at her confidence in her big oaf of a husband and used his wand to slam the door in her face.

The one thing he had learned over the years was that even though Petunia was a vile and cruel woman, she could surprise you in her single acts of kindness, though most of that kindness was hidden under resentment and bitterness. If Severus had actually enjoyed the woman's company they may have been great friends.

Instead now, Severus circled the crib and watched as the boy rolled back and fourth and then managed to sit up. He grabbed the rungs of the crib and forced his way up. He reached out to Severus and quickly lost his balance and fell over. Severus simply watched as the boy managed to pull himself back up and giggle a little.

As he reached again to Severus the man came forward slowly and took a stringy piece of his hair. He held it just before the boy's reach and moved it back and fourth and up and down several times. The boy easily followed it with his hand and giggled whenever he got close gripping it.

Standing, Severus had already checked two things off his list, the boy could still giggle annoyingly and he was eating and acting like a normal child. At least Severus assumed it was normal, he had little experience with children of any age.

He took a step back and stood there staring. The boy reached for him but when the man didn't react he started to take deep breaths, his little fingers grasped air and he started to try and hop up and down on shaky legs.

"MU MU MU MU MU…" the brat started to mumble as his eyes filled with tears. Severus still stood patient and stern. He felt nothing and that allowed him to watch as the child fell again and started to cry. He rubbed at his face and kicked his tiny legs with a disgruntled look about him. Severus could see the boy's little fingernails were scratching his face.

Severus slowly walked forward and knelt down beside the crib and let the boy reach through and play with the man's hair. Severus stayed crouched that way for close to thirty minutes before the boy had calmed down and managed to close his eyes. His breathing was easy and Severus waited another hour, simply standing stone still. The child didn't appear to have a single dream, Severus didn't know if that was good or bad but it was something to report.

He finally got close and pulled the tiny blanket over the child, he leaned in close and whispered softly, "Sleep as much as you can now, you are going to be very tired in a few years when you can do yard work."

The child before him rubbed his closed eyes and yawned and Severus felt a memory shove it's way through his mind as he realized that the brat yawned just like his father. Even the left hand rubbed his right eye the same. It wasn't possible for the brat to be so similar this early on in life to either of his parents. Yet Severus couldn't help what he did next. He walked to the door as the boy slept on and turned as he stepped out, "I hate you Potter." Whether that was meant for the boy's father or the boy himself Severus didn't know but at that moment he felt like he could walk out and never come back, he wouldn't feel any guilt either.

As he descended the steps Petunia came to him quickly and spoke, "How is he? Normal? No twitches or evil snot?" The comment was absurd and Severus wanted to ignore her but he figured putting the woman at ease might improve the chances of her not neglecting the child.

"As of now he seems like a normal healthy child despite his current living situation and the fact that he has lost a pound since I last held him. Keep him fed Petunia and don't let him roll around in his own waste. I will be back on the third Wednesday of every month. And don't think you can trick me or try to pull one over on me petunia. I know how you work and I won't hesitate to visit while your husband is home. Three o'clock in the park near by, I suggest you find baby Potter some clothes."

And with that Severus slammed the door in the woman's face for the last time and strode off.

OOOO

" So Severus, how was the visit today with the young Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked.

He had managed to talk Severus into sitting down and even though the man felt morbidly uncomfortable he waited in the chair across from Dumbledore and when the old man offered him tea he accepted but hadn't once touched it.

"The child is going to be neglected. But somehow I suspect you knew that all along."

Dumbledore sighed and leaned back in his chair, "I was hoping my judgment of the muggles was wrong, Minerva has already given me her grievances about the muggles but they are the only family he has." Severus thought the old man actually looked tired for once.

"How bad is it Severus." Dumbledore asked.

Severus hesitated and then said, "The woman is keeping the child in their storage room to keep him out of the way of her husband. He was only slightly malnourished but I can't begin to figure out how long he had to wait to have his diaper changed."

"We have no where else to put him. He will have to stay, did you inform Mrs. Dursley what would happen if she continued to neglect the child?"

"I think I was able to convey the consequences of her actions should she choose to continue ignoring the child's needs."

Severus wanted to smirk at the look of horror the woman had held on her face when he had threatened to come visit when her husband was home. He resigned to leaning back in his chair slightly to rest his sore back.

"Severus, your feelings against the boy aside I need to know if we can safely leave him in the care of his aunt and uncle for the next 17 years. You have to tell me if I need to remove him."

Thinking it all over Severus knew that as long as he came back for the next few years until the boy could essentially take care of himself the boy would indeed be fine.

"He will be fine as long as I continue to visit once a month and keep Petunia in line." Severus held his tongue for a moment after that but something within him made him say it, later he would kick himself for it but right now something forced the comment from his lips and he sat before Dumbledore confused and exasperated.

"I would consider, however, that the Figg woman be given a way to contact me should she notice any unusual behavior in between my visits."

Even Dumbledore seemed surprised by that comment and nodded once as he sat back down.

"Now tell me my boy, how was Harry overall. How did he respond to your stimulus?"

Severus quickly recited to the man all that he had done to try and activate the child's mind. He also added in the annoying amount of enjoyment the child received from Severus's hair.

Dumbledore laughed lightly, "Ah children, they find soft things comforting. You said he played with your hair the night you went to see his mother. It must seem familiar to him."

Severus narrowed his eyes and sighed, he ignored the man's comment and continued to share what else had occurred during his visit. It was two hours later when Severus finally excused himself from the man's office and he let out a breath of relief that he had made it through the horrible day.

OOO

It was the first day of the new school year and Severus was aware that later tonight he would be introduced to all the new and returning students of Hogwarts. He would have to watch the Sorting Ceremony and then eat in front of all of the students who would point and stare and whisper about who he was and what he might be teaching.

It was torture as the day slowly progressed. He wanted to get it done and over with so he wouldn't have to dread the hundreds of eyes on him. Perhaps he was still young but part of him felt intimidated. He wasn't scared of a bunch of children but he was worried about looking the fool in front of the other teachers.

Someone suddenly called to him and he turned to see Professor McGonagall walking towards him, Severus waited and tried not to roll his eyes. If she was to summon him to Dumbledore's office he was going to curse her mouth shut.

"Good morning Severus. I hope you are excited about the incoming students?" she asked as she pressed forward and Severus realized she was motioning for him to continue his walk with her.

"Thrilled." Was all Sever managed to get out as he waited to see what McGonagall wanted. The silence between them was thick and Severus, with his nerves shooting through him asked as politely as he could, "Is there something you needed Professor?"

"Severus I am no longer a teacher to you. Call me Minerva. How are you?"

Severus gave a short irritated nod and repeated his question, "What can I do for you Minerva?" he ignored her question knowing small talk was just a way to put off the inevitable.

"Severus…" She stopped walking and so he had to as well. He fisted his cloak behind him and tried to not seem annoyed or frustrated, "I had come to understand that you were bright. Dumbledore spoke very highly of your intelligence."

The temper and irritation deflated right out of him and he looked at her confused and burnt out.

She patted his arm and smiled softly as she realized that she had burst his bubble, "Severus, sometimes when a fellow teacher approaches you and asks you how you are, they simply want to know how you are. We aren't all work and busy body types. Some of us like to converse with each other, we like to talk to our friends."

Severus just stared at her as he tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

"You just wanted to say hello?" Severus asked.

"Indeed." The woman said with a faint smirk.

"I apologize…" Severus started as he released his cloak and managed to let out the breath he had been holding.

"I… sometimes my temper… Albus has been summoning me often and I thought… My day is going fine and I am perhaps a little anxious for when the students arrive." Was what Severus had managed to get out of his mouth as he stared at the woman who had a knowing look about her.

"I've been here a long time Severus, aside from Dumbledore I am the second most senior professor at Hogwarts. I can tell when one of the staff has an issue, even if the issue is simply the jitters."

They resumed their walk and this time it was slow and even, "I didn't see you at the party last night." McGonagall said giving him a stern but kind look.

"Unfortunately, after brewing the required potions for my first year students, organizing Slughorn's abhorrently disorganized office, restocking Madam Pomfrey's highly depleted medi-potions and trying to get the stones in the dungeon to stop shifting I was far to tired to come and enjoy the party."

"Stones shifting in the dungeon?" McGonagall asked curiously.

"Peeves." Was all Severus could get out as he remembered the ice cold bucket of water that had been dumped on him once he had finally made the stones immovable.

"Oh that poltergeist! I've told Dumbledore for years to make him leave, the man is to kind hearted to some of the less friendly apparitions."

"Yes." Severus said realizing he actually had agreed with someone.

The silence resumed but it wasn't as thick as it had been before. Severus found himself enjoying having someone to walk with. It was odd that it happened to be a teacher he once despised.

"I was hoping to speak to you after the feast but since you are here now I think I should tell you… I appreciate what you are doing for the boy Severus. I know it must be difficult for you… considering your situation with his mother."

McGonagall didn't look at him as they continued their walk and Severus at first didn't say anything. He didn't want to sound as frustrated as he suddenly felt.

"I assure you my feelings are under control. I will not let my personal issues interfere with the protection of the boy."

McGonagall nodded and the rest of their walk was quiet and they both seemed satisfied when they reached the entryway to the main floor of the castle to part ways.

"I look forward to seeing you tonight at the feast. Do try and put on a happy face though Severus. It helps the first years feel more welcome."

He smirked and nodded as he walked off towards the dungeons. His small smirk faded however when he knew he was out of ear shot from McGonagall and he leaned against the wall of the darkened hallway and let out a very heavy sigh, his breath wavered as he realized he was on the verge of tears.

"Lily…" he said softly as anguish washed over him. His voice was throaty and deep and he wanted to curl up where he was and sob until he passed out. But that wasn't possible. He had told himself he wouldn't act like a child, he would mourn his lose but he would do it privately and he would make sure that no one knew how much he was suffering over this.

His heart was starting to pound as he realized he only had a few hours to pull himself together. He pushed himself up and made his way towards his office. When he crashed through the door he stumbled over to his desk and as he tried to sit down in his chair his arms slid before him knocking most of the things on his desk onto the floor.

Losing control was embarrassing, but trying to regain control was impossible. His whole body shook as he saw images of that night in Godric's Hollow. He couldn't hold it back anymore and he allowed him self a deep breathe so he could choke out the sobs that racked his body. His head came down to rest on his arms and he let out all the pent up regret, fear, pain and rage.

It was another twenty minutes before Severus managed to pull himself together and he realized he only had a small amount of time to pull his emotions back, he had to reel them in so that he would be able to handle the feast tonight with out letting his mask crack. He had to make sure he was perfectly in control and ready for anything.

OOO

The feast was just like Severus remembered. All the older students came in first and waited. They talked and laughed and hugged and caught up with their friends and played small pranks as they eyed the head table. Yes, it was just the way he remembered it except the only difference now was that Severus was at the head table. He wouldn't have to talk if he didn't want to, and no one was going to give him a hard time or nasty glares and he didn't have to keep looking over his shoulder. He was safe up here in a way. But it had never really intimidated him, even as a child sitting alone at the Slytherine table. He just didn't make friends easy, it wasn't that he had any, it had taken him a month or two but he had managed to make a couple decent friends. None that compared to his bond with Lily but that had been half the reason he had such a hard time here.

It wasn't often that students from different houses meshed, let alone a Gryffindor and a Slytherine. But when they did coexist others found it unnerving. It was as if once you were sorted there was no chance to meet any other student. You associated with who was in your own house and that was that.

Severus had never cared for the idea of it but he had dealt with it as efficiently as he could at the time. That was a common word for Severus, efficiency. He was efficient and cold and calculating and now that he was at the head table he realized that he was in control.

Finally McGonagall brought the first years in and it was a rather large group. Severus eyed each student quickly, he barely registered their faces but made note of the looks on their faces. More seemed excited then scared but a few looked rather intimidated and Severus knew who his first victims in class would be.

That made him smile indeed.

The Sorting commenced and it didn't take as long as Severus had feared, the clapping had gotten rather annoying but at times Severus noticed not a single child looked upset at where they got put. They all seemed overjoyed to simply be put anywhere and Severus wished he had had that luxury at the time.

Dumbledore got up to say his piece and reminded students of the dangers of the forest and a few other nonsensical things. Severus was introduce as well as two other Professors that Severus hadn't met. A Professor Quirrell and Professor Donagon.

He had not seen them anywhere around the castle the last few weeks and Severus wondered if he would end up meeting them at a later date. Donagon was a rather… fit… witch who had dark auburn hair and a very pretty smile. Severus watched her sit down and as she turned to look at him she winked and he raised an eyebrow and sat back into his chair with a huff. He wasn't amused with her antics but found himself a few seconds later glancing at him and he snapped his eyes forward when he realized she was still staring at him.

_Why were most woman so insufferable?_ He asked himself coolly.

Only Lily had ever seemed level headed to him, but perhaps that was because they had known each other for so long. When Dumbledore had sat down the food sprang up before him and everyone else and Severus suddenly realized he hadn't eaten in a day or two. He kept his composer but started eating right away as his stomach let out a fierce growl.

Severus finished before most of the teachers and glanced down the table to see how Dumbledore's plate looked. Usually it was when he finished that he sent the children off. He had a ways to go so Severus decided to try something he usually avoided.

"So Pro- Minerva… do you hold high hopes for your Advanced Transfiguration class this year?" Sever had rambled off the first thought that had come to his head and waited to see if she would respond.

The woman looked at him rather surprised but said in a friendly manner, "Oh yes, there were a few struggling at the end of last year but the ones who moved on to my advanced class I have high hopes for."

Severus nodded not sure where to go from here, "Do you talk to people often Severus?" She teased.

The man stared at her a moment and then looked back out over the crowd of students who had just dug into the dessert portion of the feast.

"I only mean to say that you seem like you are trying very hard to hold a conversation. I would have assumed by now you would be able to at least make it further then one sentence and a reply."

Severus had forgotten how sharp the woman's tongue could be. She often let it lose on students who were late to her class. Severus had been on the other end of her verbal lashings several times when he had been late to class.

"Still as quick witted as ever." Severus said hoping this would lead the conversation in the right direction.

"Of course. I wouldn't think I have changed much in these last… oh… how old are you now my boy?"

"Twenty-One." Severus said poking some meat with his fork.

"Oh goodness, it's only been four years since you left us! I couldn't have changed that much a'tall. Though you the youngest teacher we have had in awhile I should say."

Suddenly Severus wasn't sure he wanted to talk to her anymore. He didn't realize McGonagall was so… talkative in the first place. Earlier she had seemed so composed. She looked at him and gave a very small yawn and Severus suddenly realized that she had wine on her breath.

Severus hadn't taken a drink since dinner started but it appeared that most of the teachers had goblets of wine at dinner. Was that even allowed?

"Oh excuse me Severus my boy, I've been here for so many years and still on occasion this wine sneaks up on me. It's made by the elves in the kitchens and I think they let it sit a little to long in the barrels and then I seem to get a little light headed."

The woman was not drunk by any means; she simply had one sip to many. Severus decided to not continue speaking to her simply because in her current state he wasn't sure he would understand much of anything she said.

It was another half hour before Dumbledore finally stood and wished the students a good sleep. The students all sang the school song and Severus almost wanted to cover his ear or curse them all for there hideous sounding choral.

As the students got up to leave the eldest wizard strolled up to Severus in a rather happy mood and stared down at the man who now sat uncomfortably waiting to hear what the man had to say.

"Dear boy I was wondering if I could talk to you in my office, let's say in about an hour?"

Severus hesitated for a moment but then nodded curtly and the man smiled at him and walked away.

"I think he fancies you!" McGonagall said with a slight rosy tinge to her cheeks.

Severus did not dwell on that highly unsettling comment And instead stood gruffly and walked away.


	4. Developmental Architecture

**Focus of this chapter is DumbledoreXSeverus bonding. I want their relationship to be strained at times but feel like after awhile Severus will settle in and accept that he can have a real life at this school. Friends, happy experiences and dare I say it a laugh or two etc I want Severus to have two sides to him. How he acts while he is not teaching should eventually develop to be somewhat friendly. I've found that he seems to be good friends with most of the teachers and Dumbledore and him eventually share a rather small father son oriented relationship and I would really like to explore that since I never got to really experience it in the books or movies. **

**Enjoy! **

**Chapter 4**

**Developmental Architecture **

Severus knocked and then pushed open the headmaster's door to his office an hour after the feast. He was tired of being polite to the man. Perhaps it was his own young arrogance but it seemed to him that half of the meetings he had with the man were actually pointless and just wasted the Severus's time. Not to mention Severus still had to go and make an appearance to introduce himself to his house before they all went to bed for the night.

"Ah yes, Severus my boy please do come in and sit." The man said motioning to a rather large and comfortable chair.

Severus did as the man insisted but didn't give the man the satisfaction of a smile. Severus had noticed that Dumbledore had taken to the habit of referring to Severus as his boy. It was unsettling how personal the man seemed to act with him at times.

"I hope you enjoyed the feast tonight?" the old wizard asked as he gently stroked his long beard in a thoughtful manner.

"It was adequate."

There was a hard silence between them, had Dumbledore expected more from him? The food was fine and aside from a few of the rather noisy and annoying traditions he hadn't had any problems. What was the old man looking for? After several of these pointless meetings Severus found himself getting more confused by the day. Dumbledore wanted something from him, but not something that had to do with anything they had talked about prior to their contract. This was different; he could tell by the look in the man's eyes, he almost appeared content and interested in what Severus had to say.

"Is there a reason you asked me to join you?" Severus asked in a rather uncertain voice, his bravery had all but vanished and he sat there as if he was again eight years old and waiting for his father to put down his bottle of fire whisky long enough to give him a few good hits on his backside. Something felt off and Severus pulled up his defenses but he refused to let his emotions show.

Dumbledore eyed him over his half-moon spectacles and looked at him with knowing eyes as he softly cleared his throat. His hand swung out and from a shelf near by a bottle floated over and so did two short brandy glasses.

"Night cap?" Dumbledore asked and for once Severus accepted. He stood and moved his chair closer to the desk as his hand shook on a barely visible level. The man knew his weakness, something the younger man had tried to stave off for a long time. Severus had a taste for the drink. Nothing like his father's taste, however, as Severus drank to enjoy the different tastes, flavors and subtle undertones of the different labels and brands. He waited with baited breath to see what the old man would have that he would be willing to share with Severus.

Dumbledore poured the drinks but Severus didn't touch his glass until Dumbledore set down the bottle and picked up his own. Severus had forced himself to change, forced him self to seem more refined. He had learned proper etiquette along the way and had often tried to hide the true nature of his up bringing.

"To the development of fine architecture and the events that shape lives to make us who we are." Dumbledore said and Severus felt the corner of his mouth twitch as he met his glass with the old man's and then they both took a rather timid sip. Severus allowed the spicy hot liquid to move around his mouth and then took a slow breath in through his noise to let the vapors enter his throat. He waited a moment longer before he swallowed and shivered slightly.

"Not as strong as I would usually prefer but in this instance I figured we would start with something light and easy to experience."

"Experience Headmaster?" Severus asked genuinely confused.

"I was told by a rather secretive source that you enjoy the tasting of rather refined brews? I would assume no less from someone who enjoyed potions as much as you. I myself am considered somewhat of a connoisseur. I though you might appreciate something a little stronger then elfish wine."

Severus for once was please and nodded slowly, "I started tasting about four years ago. Right after graduation, I found it helped to calm my nerves. I could take my mind off of the daily morbidity of my life and focus on something simple and complex and not anything that had to do with magic or sides. It was a pleasantly neutral experience that I savored."

Dumbledore nodded and for a while they both sat relaxed and sipped at their drinks.

"I don't suppose you would care to play a little game would you?" Dumbledore said using his pointed finger to scoot the bottle of spiced brandy forward.

Severus eyed the man suspiciously and heard the words of McGonagall in the back of his mind, _"Oh I think he fancies you!" _

Shoving it from his mind Severus warily eyed the bottle and the elder man before him. Part of him feared denying the man anything he would want because he knew Dumbledore was powerful and he could eventually get anything he wanted any. He was patient and he would wait, he was partially responsible for keeping Voldemort at bay for so long. There couldn't truly be any harm in indulging the man but part of Severus was nervous and ready to bolt if things got to uncomfortable.

"Alright." Severus said putting his hands on his knees and leaning forward a bit, he knew he often sat like this when he felt unsure or cautious. As a child he would sit like this when he was waiting for punishment from his stumbling drunk of a father, the little green chair still sat in the corner of Spinner's End and Severus often contemplated burning it.

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore's voice boomed. His hand shot out and suddenly five more bottles of different shapes, sizes and colors appeared. Severus watched then as six empty glasses appeared in front of both Severus and the elder wizard.

"I used to play this game with my brother…" Dumbledore seemed to mutter as he moved the two used glasses to the side, an odd movement since most would have just made them disappear.

"The game is simple. We both shall receive a small amount of each of the individual drinks and taste them accordingly. We each select three flavors we think were used in the brewing process. When we are ready we check the bottle and see who is correct. The one who is correct the most number of times gets to take the bottle of his choice to enjoy as he sees fit."

Severus stared at the man with a blank face and felt all his fear and anxiety flood from him onto the floor. He was preoccupied with the rather happy and content smile on the man's face. Suddenly Severus couldn't help it, somehow it had slipped and he felt a smile spread across his face. "You've just lost every bottle you've ever bought old man." Severus said beginning to pour out the individual shots of each supposedly potent brew.

He didn't noticed the rather satisfactory smile on the older man's face, because with out Severus knowing Dumbledore had just placed a single stone in the rather large architectural web he was spinning. And the rebuilding of a fine young man had begun.

OOOO

"We had sailed seven years  
When the measles broke out  
And the ship lost its way in the fog  
And that whale of a crew  
Was reduced down to two  
Just myself and the Captain's old dog  
Then the ship struck a rock  
Oh Lord! what a shock  
The bulkhead was turned right over  
Turned nine times around  
And the poor old dog was drowned (1,2,3!)  
I'm the last of The Irish Rover!"

Severus smiled as he finished the song with Dumbledore and took another shot of the only bottle left.

The two of them seemed rather happy to be in each other's company and neither made comment of the fact that the Headmaster and the teacher of Potions were drunk on a school night with class in less then six hours.

"I dear say my boy we lost track of our game!" Dumbledore said as if he had never noticed that half way through the game they had been too tipsy to continue.

"Next time we play we should have a bucket to spit the stuff out with!"

"My, a grand idea, I had forgotten that bit when we started. You sound, you sound different." The old man slurred as he reached and tapped Severus's nose with his long thin finger.

"I sound different when I am not speaking clearly." Severus said with a smirk.

"You sound different when you are drink you mean!" Dumbledore cried out with a laugh.

"No, well yes maybe but you don't tell anyone. I got an look about's that I'd like to not be having it disturbed."

Dumbledore smirked as he wobbled back and fourth in his chair, "Do not worry my dear boy I shall not reveal the best of you!" Severus started to laugh and soon they both were and couldn't stop.

"My it's good to see you loosen up my boy!" Dumbledore said as he

"Why you doin' tha'?" Severus asked as he leaned forward onto the desk and pointed at the man, he was barely able to keep his head up though as the man chuckled, "I'd imagine you'd ask. I've got nothing to explain it my boy. Take no offense. You do remind me of someone though. I'd like to know how you ended up…"

"No no no." Severus said with a smile as he waged his finger at the man, "We agreed not to talk about it. You prooomised. I know what your trying to do and it won't work. I am no ones obedient dog."

"I never implied such a thing." Dumbledore said as he placed another drink to his lips. Severus tried to say something else but soon he was losing his coherent ability to speak. Dumbledore removed the glass from his lips with out taking a sip and looked at the young man with some sadness.

"Dear Severus, you've been through to much. It will take years to rebuild what you've lost inside. No matter, you're in good hands here."

The old man stood with ease and patted the snoring man on his hunched back. Dumbledore pulled a cored and a few moments later a smallish house elf appeared.

"Hello Tawny. Professor Snape has seemingly passed out due to fatigue. Will you please grab a few others from the kitchens and take him to his chambers. And if you could, perhaps bring him a pepper-up potion and breakfast in the morning to his chambers. I do not think he would fancy the bright light from the windows in the Great Hall in the morning." The small elf smiled politely and disappeared with a poof. Several minutes later two more elves showed up and popped back out of the room with Severus in tow.

It was going to take some time but Dumbledore would gain the man's trust, even if he had to get the man drunk to do it. Somehow, he needed to make sure that Severus was on his side. He needed to make sure he could fully and one hundred percent trust the man. He would keep on him and eventually Severus would let his guard down with out the need for such silly things like five year old Dragon's Blood Brandy.

One thing had surprised Dumbledore tonight though, the man knew more about the drink then most people and Dumbledore decided to take a look into some long forgotten files to see what was really lingering behind Severus's porcelain mask. The boy had slipped under his radar while at school when Dumbledore would have had the power to really connect with him. Soon enough though, Severus would consider Dumbledore a friend and the old man could not wait until they could clasp hands in friendship and he could truly share with Severus the long list of things that would be to come.

OOO

Severus woke up the next morning with a blistering headache and the undeniable signs of a hang over. He rolled over to the side of his bed and vomited, to his surprise, into a bucket. He waited a moment more to make sure his stomach was going to settle and when he didn't feel like he was going to get sick again he sat up and looked around his room. A small fire was going in the fireplace and Severus noticed on his desk across from his bed there were a small bottle and a tray of food with a small kettle steaming from the spout. He got up and felt a rush of dizziness overtake him. He sat back down on the edge of his bed for a moment to regain his composure. He eyed the bucket but didn't bother grabbing it. Slowly he stood again and made his way groggily to the desk.

How long had it been since he had drunk that much, not since the night Lily had passed away he supposed. Before that it had been on her wedding night and suddenly Severus thought he might need the bucket again. He closed his eyes to steady himself and took a small breath to try and calm his nerve. He pulled out the chair from his desk and sat down rather roughly. He eyed the small vile and grabbed it uncorking it and taking a small sniff.

Pepper-up potion? Apparently Dumbledore hadn't been as far gone as Severus if he had taken into consideration how miserable he would be this morning.

DUMBLEDORE! Severus suddenly thought, what all had happened last night? He tried to remember but only fragments came forward and Severus relaxed when he realized that nothing had been said between them that could be consider compromising on his end. Severus drank down the whole vile and waited for the effects to take hold. He felt better momentarily and reached for the small kettle, pouring what he assumed was tea into a cup that had been placed on the food tray.

Taking a small sip he waited to see if his stomach was going to be able to handle drinking first. Eating was a whole other thing entirely and he eyed the large plate of random breakfast items including sausage, bacon a scone, toast and various other things that he thought he might be able to keep down. He sipped at his tea as the potion started to really work. His headache dulled and his upset stomach calmed down to a relatively weak grumbling sensation.

Severus's first class of the day wasn't until noon so he figured he had some time. He would come back to his breakfast after he cleaned himself up a bit.

The hot water flowed over his body and washed away most of the grimy feeling that covered him. His shame on the other hand at the prospect of how out of hand he had allowed himself to get was clinging to him like dried blood to white sheets and he leaned forward pressing his sickly face to the cold stones of his shower stall.

After he managed to climb out of the shower he walked to the sink and gazed into the mirror. He looked worse for ware but decided that he needed to shave anyway and began the rather mind numbing process of lathering his face and sharpening his razor. It was one of the few non-magical things he allowed himself to partake in. His father had taught him how to use a straight razor. One of the few good memories he had had growing up. Whether it was out of respect or wanting to relive that one good memory he had of his father Severus didn't know but he had never stopped the practice and in some ways found it comforting.

After he had finished he cleaned the rest of the lather from his face and continued to stare at himself as he tried to justify his actions from last night. He had known the old man had been up to something but never in a million years had Severus thought the man would get drunk with him. Perhaps it was another tactic to win him over. He had to admit it was nice to drink with someone again, especially someone who was just as gifted with tasting as himself. Dumbledore knew his stuff and Severus had had a hard time keeping up as the old man would name off ingredients used before Severus was even done tasting. Part of him had been thrilled to know a fellow taster, but part of him felt like it was a ploy, some sort of game between them to see who would break first. Severus had not broken or given up, instead he had continued to try to best the man and sent himself straight into a drunken stupor.

"Never again." Severus said as he leaned forward and rubbed his eyes with his slightly shaky fingers.

He changed into a fresh set of robes and then headed back out to have some more tea and to try and get some breakfast down. As soon as he was done he would need to prepare for his first class. This was it; he was going to be a teacher. It hadn't been at all what he had wanted with his life but a small part of him hoped this worked out. He hoped that he wouldn't have to leave anytime soon. Truth be told, if Severus could ever speak the truth to himself, he was tired of moving from place to place and having some balance in his life would be greatly appreciated.

Severus stood and headed for his office, he was going to have a long day today and for all he held dear, which wasn't much now days, he was NOT going to drink with Albus Dumbledore EVER again.

**Day Nine Month Nine **

Severus sat on the park bench in the only pair of muggle clothes he had, which had been left over from a few years ago. The black long sleeve shirt fit him tightly and he had felt himself blush a little when he had put it on. Why had he ever allowed himself to be seen in public wearing _this _when he was a teenager? He had had little choice the last few months because he hadn't been able to get new ones. He had been so busy with grading papers and exams and homework and his classes filled his schedule all day every week.

He was going to have to become a good multi-tasker in the next few years if he was going to survive this position. He looked at the baggy black pants that he could still fit into; they had been rather large on him when he was seventeen, now they seemed to fit perfectly. His wand was tucked into the side of his sock with the pant leg pulled down over it.

Petunia had refused to meet him at the park if he didn't start wearing clothes that were less suspicious. Severus finally decided that even though he didn't want to please that vile woman he knew it was safer for him and the boy if he just appeared like a normal young muggle man.

He waited a few more minutes until finally Petunia came around the corner with the double stroller that she had reluctantly purchased and hidden away from Vernon. Severus often got to much information from the woman when she came around. It was like she wanted to make sure Severus knew the struggles she faced to try and keep this charade up. She looked exhausted and pale and a little shaky.

She approached quickly and when she was in front of him she reluctantly sat down and said awkwardly as always, "Hello Severus."

"We can skip the pleasantries, just give me Potter and then go and push your piglet in the swing or something until I am done with him."

Petunia didn't resist as she quickly unstrapped the boy and handed him over like he was diseased. "He has a bottle and diaper in the back of the stroller." Was all she mumbled as she picked her own son up with a little difficulty and started to walk off with out looking back.

Severus looked down at Potter who reached out to him and opened and closed his fingers, "MU MU MU MU!" He said as he often did whenever he saw Severus.

"You either need to start saying mum or just stop trying."

To Severus's instant surprise the boy squealed with glee and reached out again saying, "Mum mum mum mum mum…" he wouldn't stop saying it in fact. Over and over like it was stuck in his head and he couldn't stop himself.

"Well then, good work." Severus said setting the boy down on the grass. He instantly rolled over onto his hands and knees and started to crawl around. Severus sat back and watched as the boy made his way to the bush near by the bench. He reached for the leaves and started to pull at them. Near by the boy noticed a small weeded bed of chickweed and crawled over pulling out the stems and leaves and looking at the flower. He gently pulled it apart and brought it to his nose, Severus couldn't tell but he seemed to smell it. Suddenly the boy laughed and put it into his mouth. He started to chew on it and eventually when it grew to mangled he spit it out and grabbed another.

Severus sighed and shook his head walking over he knelt down and took what remaining chickweed the boy was holding. The plant was harmless and often it was used for brewing potions. It was semi nutritious too so if anything it would be good for the boy but Severus wasn't in the mood to let the boy sit around and eat weeds. He had work to do at Hogwarts so this visit was going to be quick.

He set the boy down further away from the chickweed or anything that could distract him and pulled out from his robe three light pink balls. He set them down before the boy and watched as he curiously picked them up and tried to put one in his mouth it was to big and he dropped it looking to another. But before he could grab it Severus gave a small flick of his wand and the balls rose into the air.

Potter sat there watching as the balls moved about gracefully and he reached for one only to have it move just barely out of his reach. The boy giggled and tried to crawl after them. Severus kept him near by but made sure the boy kept moving, as he brought the balls back near by Potter reached out to grab Severus's pant leg. He pushed himself up and put both hands on the man's knee. The balls floated near by but instead of looking at them he moved even closer around the outside of Severus's leg and reached out to gently play with the long thin strands of hair that hung in a greasy mess from his head.

As the potions Master he was around the fumes, other gases, chemicals and herbs and often times his hair grew oily from the long exposure. Leaning forward the boy let go of the safety of the knee to fall into the man's stomach; he gripped onto the Severus's shirt and looked up into the dark eyes that greeted him.

"Mum." Potter said, Severus cleared his throat and said, "Yes." Reluctantly. To encourage the speech of the boy was important even if it meant agreeing to be called mum. The balls still hovered near by and as the boy looked towards them he glanced back up to Severus and smiled and laughed, "Mum!" he said pointing his tiny finger.

"No… ball." Severus said growing frustrated.

"Bumall!" Potter said happily as dribble ran down his chin.

"Ball." Severus repeated as he allowed the balls to float closer, Potter reached out and grabbed onto two of the three, he didn't let go and Severus did not drop them from their spot in the air. Severus suddenly realized the boy was walking as he held on to the balls to steady himself he followed wherever Severus moved them slowly.

Suddenly Potter's right foot got caught on his left leg and he toppled. Severus waited to see what the boy would do, he thought he may get back up but the moment had passed and Severus heard the boy sniffle and start to whimper and then he let out a wail.

Putting his wand away and rolling his eyes he got up and walked over to the little boy laying on the ground flailing like a squid. Severus picked him up and gritted his teeth as he was forced to shush the boy and bounce him slightly. Potter laid his head against the man's shoulder and took hold of a lock of the man's hair.

It was only minutes before the boy was asleep and Severus put him back into his stroller. He moved the shade into position so that the boy wouldn't get burned. It was time for his least favorite part; he pulled out his wand again and quickly ran a physical exam. A piece of parchment popped into the air and a list of three of four sentences popped up as Severus ran his wand over the boy's sleeping body.

That had been the last of his visit so he walked over to Petunia who was laying on the grass with her son who was patting her head. She chuckled a little and popped her eyes open making a rather awkward sound. But the pig child seemed to love it and reeled back in laughter. He lightly hit her again on the shoulder and she made a funny face and the boy laughed again.

Severus had to admit, she was a good mother to one of the two boys. So far at least, he didn't want to think of how she would be when the boy got older and could manipulate her.

She looked up and noticed him coming and sat up taking her son into her lap, "Everything went well, the exam I preformed showed that he hit his head the other day?"

"He tried to grab hold of my earring when I was to feed him and I gave him a little tap with the bottle. It won't happen again, the little brat got the message." She said nodding her head towards the stroller across the way from her.

"No, it won't. His weight has sunk a little since I was here last, get it back up. Otherwise, everything looks fine. I am pleased to see you took my warning seriously Tuney."

"Don't call me that. The boy is fine, accept for his annoying crying fits I haven't had much trouble with him."

Severus paused a moment, "Yes, how often does he cry then?"

"Almost every night. I feed him, change him and get him to sleep and with out fail at around two in the morning he wails like the devil. Nearly woke Vernon up the first few times but the man is a heavy sleeper. The boy is lucky he is."

"As if Potter could help himself at this age." Severus said in a sarcastic tone.

The woman glared at him as she stood and held her child to him, "When you have to deal with two infants, a short tempered husband and the expectations to have dinner on the table while only having three hours of sleep you tell me if a kid like him shouting every night would really make you feel sympathetic." Her voice was acidic as she shoved passed him and headed towards the stroller.

"I only ever wanted ONE child." She said as she hooked the small boy into the stroller and turned to go. "MY child…"

"You aren't as lucky as other women Petunia, you don't have a choice." Severus said and she flung around in shock at how close he suddenly was.

"Is the boy having nightmares or is he just having growing pains?"

Petunia sighed, "I don't know Severus! He hasn't really grown much but even when he naps I don't think I've ever seen him dream. I doubt he does as a matter of fact. Comparing the two boys is ridiculus but Dudley always dreams even when he naps. His eyes move and he shows the normal signs of dreaming. The brat just lays there like he is dead."

The image made Severus feel sick and he grunted at her as he took a step back and looked at the chickweed that the boy had been chewing on.

"Very well, I will see what I can do to alleviate some of your… stress. I may be able to come up with something that will allow him to sleep through the night so you don't have to struggle so much."

At first she looked shocked but then slightly relieved. She nodded what Severus supposed was the closest to thanks he would get and he himself turned to leave as well. Severus had considered for a moment to tell Petunia that her nephew had said his first word and had taken his first real steps today. But he had held it in, it was something special, a moment that he could share with the boy and himself and he didn't want her to spoil it with scoffs and eye rolls.

The fact that the boy wasn't dreaming however could be a problem. Dumbledore was not going to like the news.

OOO

"So he hasn't been dreaming as far as the aunt knows?" Dumbledore asked.

"Correct." Severus said tightly as he gazed at a nearby shelf, the bottle from five months ago sat there mocking him.

"She also says he hasn't been growing but that is not the case. I do not know how much we can actually trust what she says. She does not pay that much attention to the child."

"But if she is telling the truth that means that Harry isn't dreaming which could be a sign of repression."

"Repression? He is only a year and nine months old. He just said his first word and walked… in one day! I hardly feel like the boy is repressed. He seems quite intelligent actually." Severus said that last part mostly to himself.

"You cannot deny that the boy has things to repress Severus."

"He is so young. It only happened a few months ago Headmaster but I doubt he would remember enough to really…"

"Even if that is the case we need to make sure the boy starts to actually sleep. If he doesn't go through the full cycle of dreaming he will continue to wake up and only get bits of rest here and there. He won't be able to recycle the events of the day. His mental development will be extremely hindered."

Severus nodded and turned to go, "Severus, my boy, before you go…"

Turning back Severus could NOT understand why so many of these people didn't just keep talking so he wouldn't be partially out the door when they went to finish.

"Yes?" he said trying not to grit his teeth.

"I was hoping you might talk to me about how your classes are going. Are you adjusting well to the schedule? How are your students fairing? I am afraid Horace must have left some of the older students a little lethargic."

"Some of them had trouble adjusting to my more strictly followed curriculum but all is well."

"That is very well and good, how are you doing?"

Severus felt his fist clutch his cloak as he counted to three backwards, "I am doing very well Headmaster."

"You feel up to the task?"

Severus let out a ragged breath and suddenly felt his temper flare to a point he couldn't control. He strode forward and slammed his hands down on the man's desk.

"It's been nine months Albus and we just through these hoops every time and I am never going to change my answers! Why do you _care_ so much?" he asked desperately.

"Because son, you matter. I want you to be satisfied and happy."

"Don't call me that! I am no ones son! And I am fine! Just fine! Now leave it alone!"

Severus said that last line as he swiped his hand across the man's desk sending papers flying. The man just sat there un-phased as Severus released shaky breaths and his chest heaved in and out.

"Eh hem." Came from behind them and they both looked to see McGonagall standing in the doorway looking worried and somewhat confused.

"Bother! Bother to this entire place!" Severus shouted as he strode down from the desk and past the woman and out the door.

"YOUR OUT OF LINE ALBUS!" Severus called back as his voice grew fainter.

"Albus, what in heavens name…" McGonagall started.

The ancient wizard held up his hand gently and nodded, "I may have gone to far… but the truth is Minerva, he is too important to dismiss. He needs to have his temper tamed and his attitude checked if he is going to be able to remain here. I want him close to me, just like you are. I want him to be part of the inner circle of this school but he can't be if he can't talk to someone for three seconds before he explodes."

"Perhaps you are going about this the wrong way Albus. He may not be looking for the kind of comfort you are offering him."

"I think he is, but I don't think he is ready to accept it. With the life he has lived I think he is more likely to keep his shields up until all of us can prove we are on his side."

"Albus, you may have to accept the fact yourself that sometimes people just slip through the cracks. Sometimes they don't get the nourishment they need growing up and they can't be brought back from the edge."

Albus gave her a knowing smile, "I over looked him when he attended school here and couldn't get to him before he joined Riddle's crazy campaign. But the Dark Lord will return Minerva and when he does I want to know that I could trust Severus with my very life."

The woman eyed him warily and nodded she came forward and sat down in the vacant chair before the desk. Albus smiled, "Oh yes, we were going to play chess were we not?"

Minerva smiled, "Don't think you can get out of it because I had a little to much wine at dinner."

"Of course not."

Nor will I go easy on you just because you had a little tiff with your soon to be tyro. Oh the temper on him, I never thought the quiet book worm of a boy could turn into such a hurricane."

"Well you are the transfiguration expert Minerva, you tell me how you think it happened."

The woman looked at him with wide eyes and couldn't think of anything to say.

OOO

Severus paced back and fourth outside the library, as the students should be in bed at this hour he wasn't worried about anyone seeing or hearing him. He used to always find peace in the library but for some reason he couldn't get himself to go in. Suddenly he had felt cold and uncertain and realized he didn't want to be in the giant library all by himself as he tried to get himself under control.

He had resorted to pacing as he tried to think of a place, any place that could calm him down. There was a noise just then and he turned to see Professor Donagun standing near by watching him.

"Couldn't sleep?" The woman asked.

Severus just stood there staring at her, "Go away." Severus said in a monotone voice.

"Nope. Wanna go for a walk?" she asked as she approached him slowly, she was wearing a rather form fitting nightgown and her hair was down and looked slightly wild, her eyes were glazed with a look of mischief. Severus had been avoiding this woman since that first feast but now he was cornered.

She kept walking and Severus had to back up against the door of the library to avoid her body pressing against his. He eyed her dangerously, trying to figure out what she wanted and what threat she could pose. She stopped a foot before him and leaned forward a bit, "Yes? No? Walk? You do walk, I just saw you doing it bright eyes."

Severus felt his lip twitch down into a sneer, "Don't call me that. Don't talk to me. In fact don't approach me or think of me… just don't be near me." Severus said pressing past her heading out of the near by arches to be greeted by the cool night air.

"Why?" Donagun called as she followed him.

"Go away!" He yelled louder then he intended and he had to spare a glance around to see if anyone had heard.

She stared at him and then a smile spread across her light pink lips. She rushed up and took hold of his face planting a kiss on his cheek. She released him and stared, "I like you Professor Snape. You have passion." She said softly.

"Don't be stupid and interpret pent up aggression as passion. And don't kiss me or I will report you to…"

"To who? Dumbledore, I was under the impression that you two don't get on."

Severus stood there mid sentence, finger up, mouth hanging open. He quickly snapped it shut and turned walking off out onto the grounds.

Donagun let him go and marveled after him, perhaps she had been a tad bit over baring but she just wanted to see how bad his temper really was. She had heard things from some of the teachers. He had been different when he was younger, somehow the silent, shy little boy they had know had been replaced with a rather aggressive attack dog. Donagun liked nutcases, she was one, so he would be fun to spend time with and try to unravel. She headed back into the castle and aimed for her private room.

OOO

"Vile woman! All women are no good! Raving crazy lunatics just can't stop getting killed or kissing me or touching me have to be so nosy!"

Severus was rambling in a hurried circle that he kept walking as he rubbed his face angrily and tried to find his center. Why couldn't he just find his center!

"Severus?" Came a soft call.

"Not another woman." Severus said outloud with out meaning to.

"Severus, are you alright?" It was poppy and she looked like she had just crawled out of bed too.

"I had heard shouting and came to make sure it wasn't students out of bed."

Severus realized that for once it was just a teacher doing her job, he took in a slow breath and said, "I am sorry Poppy, Professor Donagun and I had a disagreement and I lost my temper…"

"Again?" she asked.

Severus suddenly felt guilty and sat down on a near by wall resting his head in his hands.

Silence came between them a moment before Poppy spoke up with a knowing smile.

"I think I know what will calm you down. Come with me."

The man looked after her for a second and when motioned and told him to get off his ars he moved to follow.

They ended up in the hospital wing and Severus realized there was a rather large amount of potion making supplies spread out on a table and a bubbling cauldron in the center.

"Poppy?"

The woman smiled and said softly, "There are a few medi-potions I prefer to brew myself. But seeing as potions is something you enjoy I don't mind you helping if you'd like to get your mind off things. I won't even try to hold a conversation except to ask for an ingredient."

She looked at him pleased with herself and Severus had to admit it probably would help him to center himself. He nodded and she gave a small smile and waved him over.

They began working and it was wonderful to feel welcome with out the expectation of holding a conversation. They worked together well and Severus felt himself relaxing bit by bit as the minutes flew by.

"She kissed me." Severus said forty-five minutes later out of the blue.

Poppy looked at him with confusion, "Excuse me?"

"Professor Donagun, she kissed me… that is why I got so upset and yelled at her."

Poppy was quiet for a moment and then asked, "Not your type love?"

"To what _type_ are you referring?" Severus asked dangerously.

"To whatever type you don't find attractive in a woman… or man… or what have you. People are trying some crazy things these days. I heard last week a woman and a centaur… "

"Poppy…" Severus said closing his eyes as he tried to get the image out of his head.

"Right, sorry."

"She is not my _anything_ let alone my _type_… she seems childish and unbalanced and compulsive. She shouldn't be a witch let alone a professor of witchcraft."

"That's a little harsh don't you think?"

"How so?" Severus asked with honest curiosity.

"Well, maybe she sees your hot headedness and your lack of emotional control and thinks the same about you. Don't judge by what you see… you have to get to know someone who…"

Poppy trailed off as she noticed Severus had closed his eyes, his brow furrowed in a mixture of regret and shame. Poppy quickly tried to reassure him, "Severus I am sorry, I didn't mean it the way it sounded… please don't think I am judging your pain… we all know what you lost."

Severus let the stirring stick fall and he turned, "Thank you for calming me down Poppy. I have to go and apologize to someone…" He didn't say anything else as he strode out the door.

OOO

Severus pushed into the office without knocking because he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going. He hadn't realized he was at the location he sought until he walked through the door to see McGonagall standing to leave.

"Oh, Severus my boy is there something you need?" Dumbledore asked as he stood and walked around to the front corner of his desk.

"Just to speak with you Headmaster… I can come back if-"

"No my dear boy it's quite alright. Minerva was just leaving." The elder witch nodded politely and approached Severus, "Have a good night Severus." She said kindly as she left, he nodded to her as she strode by.

Severus waited until McGonagall was out of earshot before he shut the door behind him and slowly approached Dumbledore.

"What can I do for you my dear boy?"

Severus resisted the urge to twitch at the words _my dear boy_ and forced himself to keep his anger under control. He had to do this if he wanted to stay at the school. He had to suck it up and get on with it, just like he had to do as a boy.

"I came to apologize for my earlier… out burst." Severus said as his hands instinctively reached behind his back to tightly fist his cloak. Someday he would break the few bad habits he still held from his childhood. For now he made sure his body language was as subtle as possible.

"There is no need to apologize Severus, I understand you have been having troubles the past few months and realize the pressure you must be under, what with having to see Harry once a month and…"

"My temper has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past and I will do my best to keep it under control from here on out. I don't want you to think I would let it affect my work. Any personal issues I have are my own but I won't allow it to be taken out on others. Students, teachers or otherwise."

Dumbledore was silent for a moment, he could tell Severus wanted to lash out again but he was managing to keep it sedated for a moment. The old wizard approached him and as he came to stand before the young man he slowly reached out a hand to rest on the man's shoulders.

"I know you miss her Severus. I know you are angry that I was unable to protect her that you were unable to save her that you couldn't stop the events that led to her death. But you must understand my dear boy that it wasn't in anyway your fault."

Severus felt his anger morph into anguish and tightened his grip as tears tried to fight to the surface of his dark brown eyes.

"She always cared for you you know. Even after everything that happened between you two, she cared for you dearly and still held out hope that you would come back to her, that you would come back from the darkness that had consumed you."

Severus started to breath heavy, the words stung him and guilt riddled him till his legs started to shake. "You can't even begin to make me believe her death was not my fault. It all came down to the choices I made and I made the wrong ones. And she died before I could tell her how truly sorry I was for the atrocities I had committed."

There was another pause and then Dumbledore seemed to come to a conclusion and said briskly, "I have something for you. I've been meaning for you to have it but I wasn't sure you'd be ready to read it until now." Dumbledore turned and went to his desk; he pulled a small tan envelope from a drawer and then walked back and handed it to Severus.

"What… what is it?" Severus asked, he turned it over and let out a small sob, Lily's handwriting was on the front, it was addressed to him. Severus quickly ripped it open and pulled out the letter.

_My Dearest Severus, _

_I leave this letter with Dumbledore in hopes that when you read it you will have returned from your travels and found yourself in a place of contentment and endless happiness. I am not sure where I will be by the time you receive this letter but I hope I will be near by. Come find me Severus, I know you have been suffering and I want to help you through it. I forgive you and offer my hand in friendship once again hoping you can look past what happened between us to see that the beauty you so often spoke of in me is also in you. I find the days are harder to get through with out your wise counsel and companionship. I have a surprise for you as well! I am expecting, and I was hoping, should you find yourself able and willing, that you be my child's godfather should James, Sirius and I be unable to fulfill our duties in the future. I wish you could have seen the look on James and Sirius's face when I told them my wishes. It would have been the perfect moment for one of your delightful smirks that I miss so much. _

_I leave this letter here praying that you come back to me soon and that our friendship can be mended from the broken state we left it in. I regret actions I took against you and understand should you not want to forgive me. But know that I am here for you when you are ready to embrace the light that is inside yourself. _

_Forever yours, _

_Lily _

Severus's sobs shook his body as he read; he bit his knuckle to keep himself quiet. His legs finally gave out as he finished reading and he landed harshly on his knees, his head down and his legs hanging lifelessly at his sides. The letter was held tightly in his hand.

She had forgiven him, she had wanted to see him and spend time with him. She had asked him to be Harry's godfather…

He continued to cry until he felt to hands come to rest on his shoulders and he looked up to see Dumbledore kneeling before him. Severus tried to catch his breath and look the man in the eyes, Dumbledore had a very sincere look on his face and after six months of fighting him and resisting and trying to keep his walls of protection from coming down he felt tired, alone and cold. Perhaps it was a moment of weakness or perhaps he hadn't grown up as much as he thought he had but he finally did it and succumb to the open arms of the ancient wizard. He leaned forward and pressed his head into the man's chest. His arms still hung lifelessly, he would never be able to actually hug the man but as Dumbledore wrapped his arms around the young man's shaking back Severus realized now more then ever that he was not okay and he was not going to be able to make it through this alone.

He stayed there sobbing angry cries into the man's chest for a good five minutes. Finally he had calmed down and came to enough to realize his mistake and quickly pulled away. Dumbledore let him with no resistance.

"Care for a hard drink?" The older man asked.

Severus manage to nod as he stared off into nothing, his mind trying to register what had just happened and what had been written in the letter.

_Forever yours. _

_Forever. Yours. _

_FOREVER. YOURS. _

Was being whispered again and again across the forefront of his mind and he used a near by chair to steady himself as he stood. He followed Dumbledore up the stairs to his desk where the man poured a drink for the both of them. Severus held the letter up and began to read it again. His eyes scanned it over and over until finally he folded it up and put it in the inside pocket of his robes.

He took hold of the glass with shaky hands and raised it to his lips, the sip was more of a gulp and the fire exploded into his throat and burned all the way down into his stomach.

Severus gasped in surprise at the slight pain and glanced at the bottle, "F-fire whisky? I am in anguish I don't have a death wish Albus!"

The man across from Severus chuckled as he took a rather large gulp himself and gave a slight flinch.

Severus put the glass on the table and sighed heavily, he waited a moment before he glanced at Dumbledore who sat in his chair staring at him with a friendly smile.

"Oh don't look so smug." Severus grumbled giving a final sniff before he brought his fingers up to rub his slightly swollen eyes.

"I am not being smug Severus, I am just glad I could be here to help when you needed it. I know you don't want to admit it but you have been under a lot emotional distress. I am here if you need me my boy, no one else need be made aware if you'd like to come and talk on occasion about anything you'd like."

Severus stared at the man a moment before he nodded. Standing was hard due to his shaky legs but Severus managed and he waited a few more moments before he thanked the man and graciously excused himself.

For some reason he felt light hearted, perhaps because of the letter that was resting inside his robe or maybe because he had allowed his pent up emotions to run free. Severus would NEVER be comfortable wit showing his weaknesses but perhaps, if we was very careful and if he tried really hard he could keep his temper under control and maybe in the newt few years he could form some sort of real friends.

**A/N: Hope this chapter wasn't to boring the real exciting stuff is coming so if you've been reading thanks for being patient. **


	5. The Terrible Two's

**Chapter 5**

**The Terrible Two's **

Severus waited on the park bench for Petunia to come around the corner but found that she was running later then usual. If she wasn't here in another five minutes-

Just then a rather frazzled looking woman with smoking hair and a smoldered dress came shuffling down the side walk whimpering and very quietly muttering his name.

When their eyes met he stood and she started to call out, "Severus! SEVERUS, GET TO THE HOUSE!"

The young man was past the frantic woman in a heartbeat, she then turned to follow him. She was still in those blasted heals so she did more of a bouncy shuffle as her dazed expression showed just how messed up she was. Had her house exploded? Was Harry dead?

As they came upon Number Four Private Drive Severus noticed the house didn't look any different then any other time he had been there. He quickly approached the front door and pushed it open to see the house looked as it had the first day he had come.

Petunia was timidly peering over his shoulder and seemed shocked to see the house looked normal. She shoved passed him and ran upstairs to seemingly find her son. Severus shut the door behind him and quickly walked into the front room.

There near the floor floating in a bubble was Harry, now officially two years old. He was smiling wickedly and as the bubble rose up to the ceiling it popped and before Severus could do anything the child fell and just before he hit the ground he slowed himself and then landed gently on his belly.

"Bumall!" Harry said getting up and waddling over to him. He was two years old now and rather small for his age but he could walk and seemed to be able to recognize Severus despite the long pauses in between his visits.

Bumall had been something that Severus had been unable to avoid, ever since that fateful day in the park when Harry had tried to say ball and mum at the same time Severus's new name was Bumall and he couldn't seemed to get Harry to call him anything else.

"Hello Mr. Potter." Severus said reaching down to pick the boy up and setting him on his hip as he strolled through the house to check for any damage.

Petunia finally came downstairs realizing her son was fine and so was her house. She wobbled into the kitchen with the same dazed and confused look on her face. Exhaustion plagued her and she moved passed Severus with out a word and sat on the nearest kitchen chair. Her face grew paler then normal and it seemed to hang down longer then her normal horsiness allowed.

"I hate magic." Was all she said in a ghost of a whisper as tears filled her eyes, "Tell me Severus… is it normal for most two year old magical infants to start a house on fire and bring back the image of a dead relative? I thought… Lily… I swear I saw her in the flames and the brat was floating around her in a bubble… A BLOODY BUBBLE!" Petunia suddenly shrieked as she stood and kicked her foot out sending a heel flying across the kitchen and into the wall. She stared a moment at the dent she had created and then shoved her fingers into her hair and let out the most unappealing groan of frustration Severus had ever heard.

"YOU ARE POSSESED BY THE DEVIL YOU EVIL LITTLE BRAT!" And with that she walked over and got her shoe and then walked out the kitchen door slamming it shut behind her.

Severus just stared in shock, well it wasn't really shock it was amusement hidden behind a mask of surprise. Severus had never informed Petunia of what raising a magical child would be like. She had a long road ahead of her if she thought he was going to be an easy kid to raise; magical children never were.

Severus looked at Harry who gazed up at him and reached to wrap his arms around the man's neck, "Bumall!" he said excited.

"Play with toys?" the boy asked and pointed to the cupboard under the stairs.

Severus raised an eyebrow, he hadn't been back to the house in a long time because they had been meeting in the park near by for almost a full year now; Severus had not been aware that Harry kept his toys under the stairs.

As Severus walked into the hall and reached for the small handle to open the cupboard a manicured hand stopped him and he looked up to meet Petunia's acid gaze.

"I ask you don't go snooping around when I am taking a moment to… compose myself."

"The boy says his toys are in there."

"Rubbish, Dudley has a habit of hiding the boy's things. Ever since the brat has tried to get in there thinking Dudley put his stuff in here. Had to put a bloody lock on it but it's only filled with cleaners and rat poison. Keep him out of it." Petunia said eyeing the boy with a razor sharp gaze.

Severus gave a curt nod as the child in his arms sighed heavily and then once again wrapped his arms around the man's neck in a hug.

"For what he lacks in height he makes up for in affection." Severus noted aloud as Petunia motioned for him to follow her back into the kitchen.

"If you want to call being clingy affection." She murmured getting onto her hands and knees and reaching into the very far back of one of the kitchen cabinets. She pulled out a bottle of dark brown liquid and then grabbed a glass out of the sink. Crossing the kitchen and aiming for the table, Severus let her pass as he looked at the boy who stared into his eyes, "What?" Severus asked gently with a hint of annoyance in his face.

"Bumall stay." His face seemed slightly upset and Severus felt a small lurch in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right.

"Petunia… we need to have a talk." Severus said.

He watched the woman pour a rather large amount of the liquid into a glass before her and then she took a gulp from it. She made a face and then looked at Severus and smirked, "Oh now you want to talk to me you bloody bastard… why didn't you tell me he had the devil in him. Lighting things on fire and bringing back his wretch of a mother like that my God." She said in shock.

Severus tried to keep his patients, he had been making improvement over the last year and he didn't want to lose it on this muggle woman.

"Listen, accidental magic happens with magical children until they are old enough to control it. He doesn't mean to do any of it but his magic is connected directly to his emotions and thoughts. If he has a mood swing, if he gets scared or finds something funny his magic might act out on it's own. I need you to understand that this will happen again."

The woman rolled her eyes and made a rather mumbled noise, it had sounded like, "Oh good…" but Severus didn't both to try and decipher it.

"But I can also help you Petunia if you would be so kind as to drop the attitude."

The woman glared at him but then said, "Go on then."

Severus managed to pull his wand out as Harry continued to hold onto him the body moved a little to get closer and hot breath whispered into his ear, "Can I have stick too?"

Fighting to keep a straight face the young man quickly moved his wand in a pattern and muttered the incantation. As the magic settled he saw Petunia shutter a little and he turned to set the child on the counter to rest his arms for a moment, he did not move away but simply let the child sit and reach to play with his hair, "You hair soft."

"Your hair is soft, Mr. Potter." Severus corrected as he turned to talk to Petunia about what had exactly happened.

"Bumal has soft hair!" The boy shouted.

"Least he likes you, the beast of a child has it out for me." Petunia spat.

Severus kept his face blank and his composure straight, "Tell me everything that happened."

Petunia gave him another nasty look but then sat resigned to tell him and as she started Harry hiccupped and the burner on the stove exploded with fire.

Severus and Petunia looked at the steaming heat coil and then back to Harry who hadn't even noticed.

Petunia tried to pull her eyes to look out the window and away from the smoking oven.

"I set Harry down in the living room and was going to fetch Dudley so that we could get ready to come meet you. As I left I heard him giggle, he never giggles, not unless you are here. I turned around thinking that perhaps you had come early and just appeared out of air like your kind seems to enjoy doing." The resentment in her voice made Severus's lip twitch but he kept his mask tight. He was really getting good at controlling his emotions and he felt accomplished.

"The next I know there is Lily standing in my living room, transparent and smiling down at the boy. When I screamed he looked at me as if I had disturbed him and suddenly all the walls were on fire and smoke was everywhere. I ran out to get you hoping that it was the same type of thing that had happened to Lily when she had been younger. Lily would make this happen when she was a little older then Harry." Her voice was ghostly and she didn't seem to be really thinking about what she was saying, she was far away even though she sat before the man in black.

"Petunia, put Lily out of your mind, what you saw was not a ghost or spirit. It was simply a protection of one of Harry's memories. I am sure he probably does not even know who she is. He simply feels comfortable when he thinks of her so his magic projects it for him to see more clearly."

"Rubbish, he shouldn't have any memories of her. He wouldn't remember her."

"You would be surprised Petunia what the mind of a child will remember, especially if the memory is traumatic." This comment made Petunia's face pale and Severus decided to change the subject.

"Has he been sleeping adequately?"

Petunia nodded but didn't look at him and instead put her finger to her lips as her mouth started to tremble. Severus just stood there stock still as his frustration with the woman momentarily subsided.

"Lily was right there…" Petunia murmured before she broke down into tears and turned her back on Severus, her skinny long legs touched her chest as she bent over in her chair holding herself.

"Petunia…" Severus started but the woman held her hand up sharply and managed to splutter out, "Just take him outside will you!"

Severus didn't have to be told twice as he turned and went for the front door completely forgetting to check the cupboard under the stairs on his way out.

OOO

"So he hiccupped and the damn stove shot fireballs out of it!" Severus said to Dumbledore who chuckled as Severus allowed an awkward smile to spread across his face.

"The boy seems powerful." Dumbledore says stroking his beard.

"I would have to agree. I think the best part of the day would have to have been seeing Petunia shimmy down the street covered in ash still smoking… she looked like a Grimm." Severus said trying to keep his smile under control.

But Dumbledore wasn't listening at the moment, his eyes were glazed and he stared off into space as his long thin fingers continued to stroke his beard.

"Albus?" Severus asked suddenly looking serious.

"Perhaps… on your next visit you could bring him here to the school?"

Severus felt his back stiffen and his hands gripped the ends of the arms of his chair.

"Headmaster I do not think that wise… it's dangerous plus how would I get him here with out apperating… I couldn't fly him and I won't take him on a train."

"Why couldn't you apperate?" Dumbledore asked looking for clarification.

"It's… you can't apperate a child! Dumbledore most adults who do it for the first time get sick I can't imagine how a two year old would respond!"

"Tell me, do you know where Mrs. Figg lives?"

Severus looked down at his feet and nodded once, "Then you will bring him by floo. Severus I need you to understand why I have asked you to do this…"

"You want to scare the child to death?"

"I want to see myself how he is doing and I want to run some tests. There have been a few occurrences over in the north and I want to make sure it hasn't affected the boy."

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked, "If something has been happening then the last thing we should do it move him away from the blood wards at his aunt and uncles."

"Bring him to me Severus… it is very important you do, it's something I can only trust you to do."

That made Severus go still, ever since that momentary lapse in strength last year when he had confided in the man and allowed Albus to offer him comfort Dumbledore had started to put more faith and trust into him. It felt good to Severus to have someone trust him with important tasks… he never failed at any task given by the Headmaster and he found the man always seemed proud when Severus returned victoriously from a mission. But there was something pulling at the back of Severus's mind, something very familiar was creeping up on him and he couldn't place his finger on it.

A hand came onto the man's shoulder and he looked to see the old man with a twinkle in his eyes, "Severus, my boy, I can only trust you to bring Harry here." The man repeated his previous statement and the wild storm inside himself seemed to abate momentarily.

"Alright, but only I can hold him unless otherwise stated and he won't leave my sight. Whatever tests you want to give him… I have to be present or I won't bring him."

Dumbledore nodded and Severus sighed heavily as Dumbledore moved to allow him to pass. Severus nodded and headed for the Headmaster's desk. He sat in front of it and waited patiently as Dumbledore moved to sit on the far side.

"Oh, I forgot… the boy magically projected an image of Lily…" Severus's voice had trailed off at that moment, he had been able to keep his composure while he had been at the house with the vulgar woman but now it had finally sunk it. The boy remembered his mother and Severus had a direct link to her through him.

"Was it full bodied?" Albus asked as he leaned back bringing the tips of his fingers together, "The aunt seemed to make it sound that way. It was like one of the enchanted pictures had stepped out of its frame."

"That is most interesting." Albus said continuing to stare at the half face of Severus.

"Is something wrong dear boy?" Albus asked and Severus looked at him and said with the most broken expression he had ever had, "I want her back Albus. I want to hear her voice and have her wrap her arm through mine and lean on me and I want to know that she didn't feel any pain when she was…" his voice had cracked so he stopped.

"I know lad, the sting of loss does not go away but it will dull eventually. She did not die in vain and that is what matters." Severus tried to fight back his tears; it had been weeks since he had reacted to her death so poorly. He had thought he was at the point where he could handle it. But the tears came and rolled down his face.

"Excuse me please…" Severus said as he stood to go.

"Severus…" Dumbledore said as the young man stopped halfway down the steps from his desk to turn and look at him.

"Before you go…" Crossing to a nearby shelf he motioned for Severus to follow.

"Albus I can't handle your mystery right now." The boy said as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"I found this the other day in one of Slughorn's old boxes that he had left behind."

Severus looked to see a medium sized frame holding a moving picture of Severus and Lily leaning on the lowest branch of a tree. Severus had forgotten he had ever smiled like that. Suddenly Lily leaned over and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave a playful kiss (that most would probably call a smooch) to the tall and awkward Slytherin student. Severus stared unable to take his eyes off of the girl who would occasionally repeat her gesture of smooching him on the cheek. He had forgotten all about that moment… the picture had been for one of Slughorn's shelves… he must have left it behind when he realized that Severus wasn't going to become one of his collectables.

Severus didn't belong to anyone…

Just then Dumbledore's hands came to rest on his shoulders again from behind. "It's for you, I thought you might like to have it for your personal chambers. I know she would want you to have the happy memories."

"T-thank you Headmaster." Severus said as the tears continued to spring from his eyes.

This blasted man knew just where to hit him to play with his emotions and turn him into a blithering idiot. Severus reached out his shaky hands and took the frame, gripping it until his knuckles turned white.

"Come, tonight we shall have some soothing tea and forgo our usual tasting time so that you may better collect yourself."

Severus nodded with out actually replying and even though he felt like Dumbledore was allowing Severus to rely on him too much the young man found comfort in the man's words and held the picture so close to him that he wondered if he would fall into it.

"I will bring the boy here next month through the floo in my office, I request that you be the one however to write a letter to the aunt to let her know to have him ready. I will only be able to have him from nine in the morning till five when the husband comes home."

"That will be more then enough time... I will ensure that my letter explains everything required. I also think this would best take place during the weekend due to classes. You will need to be available the entire time as you requested to be present during the entire visit. Have you grown fond of the boy?"

"As of yet he has done little to make me hate him, his doesn't even resemble his father that well at the moment and he seems kind and friendly. Though his affection seems to be a problem for Petunia, she thinks he is to clingy."

"Do you?"

"I cannot honestly remember a time that I received so many hugs but I do not think it is abnormal. It may be a little to much I suppose if he wants to be picked up all the time… perhaps next month… since he will be with me all day… we should ask some of the more… trustworthy… teachers to come and visit to see how he reacts to strangers…"

"An excellent suggestion. Though you should know… you may not be the only one who wants to hold him. I know for a fact McGonagall loves small children."

Severus turned his head slowly to look at the man with a suspicious face, "If that woman spoils him…"

"I will instruct her to not spoil him Severus."

"The child is sweet and caring and I won't have his currently decent personality marred by being spoiled to much. Otherwise by the time he gets here he will be a real brat and not just the one I imagine him to be."

"I don't think one day would…"

"No spoiling…" Severus snapped as he held up his finger and eyed the man suspiciously.

"Indeed, no spoiling."

The silence between them was thick for a moment before Severus met the man's eyes and saw the twinkle that was so overpowering Severus found himself groaning and he finally said, "Fine, maybe a little…but you better stop when I tell you to."

"Of course Severus, you are the boy's guardian after all."

Severus froze at that comment and then looked down at the picture of him and Lily… if he was the boy's guardian… that meant he had family. Suddenly Severus had a whole new reason to cry.

OOO

The wind was blowing hard across the tops of the mountains and Minerva stared out the astronomy tower as she waited to hear word from Albus. Sometimes she thought the man was to secretive, she thought that he didn't trust people nearly enough and he often had trouble seeing beyond the end of his nose when it came to the reality of certain situations.

One situation would be of course Severus and the Potter child. Somehow, she just knew they were both going to be hurt from this. Somehow the out come would not be what either Severus or the child would want. Albus was playing with fire when it came to Severus, though Minerva had found his blunt truths and now mild temper refreshing and his sarcasm often left her smiling she knew that he had a past. He was still volatile and unbalanced in some ways and even though he had managed to start speaking more easily with the other teachers and herself she wondered how long it would really take to get Severus fully onto the right path. How long it would be until he could smile and laugh with the rest of them at meetings and share in the fun that the teachers got to have while the students were in bed.

It wouldn't seem like much to most other people but from the inside the staff at Hogwarts was a family, a tight knit group of people who have lived and experienced and had seen the changes in the world. They all knew each other and trusted each other and while Dumbledore was part of them he was almost always on the outside staring in. Severus, however, was on the outskirts, out beyond Dumbledore. He lurked there as if he was waiting for something, waiting for an opportunity to jump through a hole in their tight little family circle. They would gladly welcome him with out such suspicions if he would just share a little more about himself, if he would just tell them how he was doing with out looking like he wanted to hex them for asking…

"Minerva…"

The woman jumped only slightly as she turned to look at the bearded man stepping from the shadows.

"Bee in your bonnet Minerva?" Dumbledore asked as he approached her slowly. His hands were tucked into his robes pockets and as he grew near he glanced out at the view and took a moment to admire it.

"Albus. _You_ called _me_ I believe?"

"Yes yes of course. It's important indeed it is. Gumdrop?" The old man offered but the woman turned him down and looked at him with her watery blue eyes

"What is so important that we have to meet in secrecy up in this blasted tower so late at night?"

"Harry is coming here."

The woman stared at him for a moment; her face was unreadable for until finally she almost looked indignant.

"And why on earth would the child be coming here?" the woman asked.

"I need to check him now that his magic have activated."

"Activated - you mustn't be serious… he is only two years old… usually most magic doesn't start serving a child for another two years."

"From what I understand, he started his aunt and uncles house on fire, blew up the stove, and astral projected a memory of his mother to smile at him… full body."

Minerva's mouth hung open just barely, which was almost never acceptable by her own standards. "He…" she was speechless, which by all standards was almost unheard of when it came to McGonagall.

"Minerva, I have a feeling more happened that night at Godric's Hollow then we are aware. I think something has gone horribly wrong."

"I am not sure such a dangerous assumption can be made… think of who his parents were Albus. They were both in my house; I knew Lily and James Potter and they were both very powerful. Perhaps we shouldn't be so amazed that the boy is already showing signs of having magical abilities."

"I agree to an extent Minnie but I would rather be safe then sorry dear."

Minerva blushed at the mention of her childhood nickname and then sighed, "Alright then, what can I do to help Albus?"

The older man walked passed her to look out over the darkened landscape of the Hogwarts grounds.

"When Severus comes he will be very hesitant to let anyone look at the child, I may have difficulties in just having the young man set Mr. Potter on my desk. I need you there to help Severus be at ease. I also plan to ask Poppy to come. Severus and the woman seem to be rather fond of each other due to their similar backgrounds. Poppy also seems to have the patients to handle his stubbornness. However, more then anything I want you to be ready should Severus become… over protective. This investigation need to be run now… before he gets to old."

Minerva couldn't bring herself to protest but she did manage to ask, "What on earth are you looking for? What are you trying to find?"

"I am hoping that I won't find anything Minnie. I am hoping that the entire venture is senseless."

The woman nodded and folded her hands in front of her as she also turned to gaze from the tower.

"Would you like to come to my chambers tonight…" Dumbledore asked after awhile.

Minerva hid a small smile, "Another game of chess?"

Dumbledore didn't say anything as he turned and headed back towards the stairs, Minerva sighed as she gave one last worried glance out into the night and then turned to follow the elder wizard down into the castle.

OOO

Severus held Harry close to his chest, "I will be back before five, just make sure you are home by the time I get back. I won't leave him here unless you are."

Petunia nodded and Severus took Harry out the front door in a flourish as he started to cross the street to the old woman's house. He made sure Petunia wasn't watching as he walked up to her front door and knocked once.

The door opened and the woman who had greeted him his first time on Private drive welcomed him in. She smiled at Harry and then looked to Severus, "The fireplace is this way." She said walking down the entryway with a slight hobble to her steps.

As they approached the furthest wall of the living room she turned to him and gently moved Harry's hair just slightly, "Give Dumbledore my regards."

Severus nodded as he stepped across the hearth and then looked at Harry, "Close your eyes Harry." He said as gently as he could despite his apprehension.

The boy giggled and covered his eyes with his hands assuming this was a grand new game.

Severus grabbed a handful of floo powder that Mrs. Figg offered him and quickly spoke the words, "My personal chambers, Hogwarts." He threw the powder down and the green flames rose up in a flash.

When he stepped out of the fireplace in his person chambers he quickly carried Harry over to his bed and set him down, "Open your eyes Harry." The man said softly and as the boy removed his hands and looked around his smile spread across his face.

"Whoa!" he said in a very excited way. "We went away!" He said.

"Your powers of observation are impressive." Severus said sarcastically and the boy laughed as he tried to slide from the bed.

"Tut tut Mr. Potter." Severus said as he kept the boy stationary, "How do you feel?"

"Good." He said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. Severus sighed and pulled out a handkerchief and held it to the boy's nose, "Blow." He said and the boy complied.

"Thank you." Harry said happily.

"Now Mr. Potter, we are going on an adventure and you are going to meet some new friends. You do not need to be afraid, you are safe here do you understand?"

Harry nodded and reached out his hands to be picked up, "Bumall is tired." He said as Severus picked the boy up.

"Yes, Bumall is very tired."

Severus gave the boy one last look over before he took a deep breath and headed out of his chambers and into the hall.

"It's cold." Harry said looking around.

"Yes." Was all Severus said as he quickly made his way to the Headmaster's office, the entire school was full of students but Severus did his best to avoid any. He didn't need rumors spreading and creating a problem with the bat of the dungeons illustration he had been working to build. Though he would jump through hoops to make sure every student was safe, he would prefer not to be one of the teachers that students came to for comfort or advice. He barely knew how to live his own life let alone held with someone else's. His students seeing him carrying around a two year old could affect his strict teacher student relationship.

He made it to the gargoyle and the statue noticed the little child and gave a very uncomfortable smile as he leaned forward a little to try and peer into the child's face. Severus turned away a little and said, "Sugar cane."

The beast looked slightly disappointed but allowed the man to pass by and raised the stairs up.

"This is it Harry, be a big boy now." Severus spoke gently into the boy's ear and he felt the little body in his arms tense. Perhaps his own nervous energy was transferring to the boy.

He pushed into the office with out knocking, normally only doing this when he was mad, today seemed to stressful to be polite.

Severus looked around but didn't see anyone; the phoenix eyed him and then settled to look at the child who was also looking around from his perch on the man's hip.

"I go down?" Harry asked as he admired all the shiny objects. Severus hesitantly set the boy down and watched as he just stood there and stared around the room.

The giant red bird gave a squawk and when Harry laid eyes on him he pointed and rushed over, "Whoa!" he said again. Severus felt his heart leap into his throat as the boy ran over and the bird gladly hopped from his stand and onto the floor. Severus was about to follow and reach for the boy to pull him away but Faux seemed pleased to meet the young boy and leaned into him as the boy gently pet him.

"Ah Severus, I see Harry and Faux get along swimmingly."

Harry's head jerked up and he left the bird to run and stand beside Severus. His tiny fists wrapped into the man's cloak as Severus greeted Dumbledore, Poppy and Minerva with a nod. He kneeled down and started to gently rub the boy's back, "Bumall… new people!" Harry said.

"Yes Mr. Potter, these are friends."

"Bumall, up please." Harry asked as he reached to wrap his arms once more around Severus's neck.

"Bumall?" Poppy asked with a smile.

"A mistake I never attempted to correct. It is what he calls me."

"Bumall's friends please."

"My is he polite!" Poppy said slowly approaching.

Severus slowly approached the small group of three warily eyeing them all to make sure none were going to reach for the boy, not just yet anyway. Harry smiled and reached out to touch Poppy's hair.

"He seems to remember people through their hair." Severus assured her.

"Bumall her hair curly!" Harry said as Poppy leaned close with a smile.

Harry looked at Minerva and reached to touch her tight bun, "Mmm." The boy said in a thoughtful manner as he let his fingers slide along the tight brush of hair.

He finally turned to the old man and said, "Grandpa hair..." he reached out and took hold of the man's beard and pressed it to his mouth.

"I grandpa!"

Even Severus let out a small smirk as the others laughed softly.

"Mr. Potter, this is Minerva, Poppy and Headmaster Dumble-Albus." Severus said deciding that Albus would be the easiest for him.

"Puppy, Minvera and All-bus."

"You can call me Minnie if you like Harry." Minerva said surprisingly as he twisted her hands, "Oh Severus I know I said I wouldn't but can I hold him please?" The old woman looked so hopeful that even though Severus did not want to release the boy he was out voted when Harry suddenly said, "Yes please Bumall."

Severus sighed and then very carefully handed the boy over to the old witch who looked like she was about to squeal. Poppy looked to Severus and said, "He is wonderful Severus! An absolute treat!"

Severus didn't reply and simply watched at the two women bounced and coddled and made soft cooing noises to the boy who was stroking Minerva's tightly spun hair again. He laughed whenever Poppy leaned forward and made a popping noise with her lips.

Severus was pulled aside just then by Dumbledore who had the two of them turn their backs to the woman and boy.

"That was very kind of you Severus."

The young man kept turning slightly to eye the three across the room but eventually his attention came to reside souly on Dumbledore when the man said, "Now I want you to try and relax. Nothing I plan to do will hurt the child in anyway and I expect it will be over as quick as we start. Hopefully, if we are lucky this whole thing won't have been necessary."

Severus nodded but suddenly had to turn when he heard a gasp from behind. He turned and felt his heart literally stop for a singular moment. He clutched at his chest when he saw a transparent, full-bodied Lily standing behind him smiling down at the boy. For some reason Harry had been set down and was pointing at the two woman looking at his mother.

"Mum mum mum…. Puppy and Minvera."

"Stay calm, I think he is just trying to introduce you to her…" Dumbledore said suddenly and the two witches continued to stare. Dumbledore slowly approached the little boy who turned and smiled, "All-bus mum." The woman only seemed to notice Harry and acknowledge what he said; she paid no attention to anyone else.

"We must stop this." Dumbledore said as he knelt down next to Harry. Severus was still staring at the false Lily and couldn't move. He was like a deer in headlights as his eyes stared in shock.

"Severus… Severus my dear boy would you…" But Dumbledore froze as Harry moved away to stand next to Severus, "Bumall…mum." Harry introduced and Severus shakily looked down at the boy and then bent to pick him up.

His voice shook as he moved around the image of the woman to stand next to Dumbledore. "H-Harry, I need you to… I need you to put mummy away." Severus managed as he fought the tears back from his eyes. He felt a solid hand on his shoulder and looked to see Poppy and Minerva nodding. Their attempts to comfort him were wasted but he appreciated the effort.

"But Mum hair pretty…" Harry said.

"Yes I know. She is very pretty but you need to put her away Harry, can you do that?"

The boy looked at him sadly but nodded and looked at the image, it slowly faded and Harry whined slightly, "Mummy."

Severus let out a stiff breath and then turned quickly to hand off Harry to Poppy, "Excuse me a moment. Be good Mr. Potter." Severus quickly left the room and shut the door behind him.

"Bumall?" Harry called in a scared voice.

"Oh don't worry lad he will be back." Albus said cheerfully.

"Harry made Bumall sad." The boy said leaning his head down on Minerva's shoulder.

"Shall we begin?" Dumbledore said.

"But Albus, Severus…"

"Will be back soon and there is one thing I wish to do before he returns."

Dumbledore motioned for Minerva to bring the child to his desk; she set him on it and waited to see what the man was going to do.

Albus removed his wand and pressed it to Harry's temple, "Oh no Albus…" Minerva said in shock.

"It must be done, he cannot be drawing attention to himself by projecting his deceased mother in front of people. Severus said that his aunt nearly drank herself into a stupor when she saw Lily."

Minerva said nothing else and Poppy was by the door listening for the younger man to return.

"Hold very still Harry." Minerva said softly as she rubbed the boy's back.

The boy didn't respond he simply stared at the door waiting for the man in black to come reappear.

Albus closed his eyes to focus better and then as painlessly as possible removed the full-bodied memory of Lily from the boy's mind. He placed the thin strand in a vile he pulled from his robes and quickly corked and pocketed it.

"Mum… mummy?" Harry suddenly said as he looked confused and started to bubble up.

Then, "BUMALL! BUMALL!"

The door to the office slammed open and Poppy jumped back as Severus strode past her and right up to the boy who reached for him. He picked him up and pulled back from the others, "Harry?" Severus asked.

"Head hurts…" Severus eyed the old wizard for a moment who gave a small smile. The man wouldn't have done anything to hurt the boy. He trusted the man to a degree; they had agreed not to do anything unless he was in the moon. Severus started to gently bounce the boy, "Poppy, in my left pocket please." The woman nodded and with a forced smile rushed over and pulled a small vile from his pocket.

"Here Harry, drink this please."

The little boy clutched the vile and drank it slowly, "Did he bump his head?" Severus asked and Minerva took that moment to say, "We think it may have been due to the effort it takes him to produce the image of Lily. She flickered out and he seemed scared, he started calling for you when she disappeared."

Severus nodded and looked at the boy, "Better?"

The boy nodded and wrapped himself tightly around the man's neck.

"What else do you need to do Albus, he is getting tired and frankly I am exhausted myself."

"If he can bare it bring him here and set him back on the desk. I just need to perform two evaluations and then you may take him back. Poppy, Minerva if you would be willing to stand aside, you as well Severus."

The man was reluctant but set the boy down and felt his heart clench when the boy whimpered in protest. "Stay Harry. Only a moment more and then we can go." Severus said as he backed up. Albus did not take out his wand, he did however place a hand on the boy's forehead and close his eyes.

They all stood there silent and Harry suddenly jerked up to sit straight and his hands started to shake. Severus started to lurch forward but Minerva and Poppy grabbed him trying to keep him calm.

"Albus stop!" Severus shouted.

A glowing light formed around the two and Severus stopped struggling as he watched. Suddenly Albus let out a yell and was thrown across the room and into one of his glass shelves.

"ALBUS!" Minerva yelled as she rushed over with Poppy. Severus turned to look at Harry who was wavering back and fourth on the desk. Severus lunged forward and caught the boy before his head smacked the floor. He looked at the unconscious face and saw that the scar on the boy's forehead was glowing a bright white.

The boy was completely out cold and Severus lifted him up in his arms and turned a vicious face on the old man who had been helped up from the floor. Poppy and Minerva helped him into an armchair.

"What the hell was that Albus!" Severus shrieked as he strode towards the man who was still a little shaky.

"Severus, something is wrong, I should have been able to get into Harry's mind and see things. Something was stopping me."

Severus peered down at the boy and then gritted his teeth, "We will talk later about this. I am taking him back to Private drive and will NOT be bringing him back here again."

Severus stormed out with the boy in his arms leaving the two women to stare down at the old wizard before them.

"What was it Albus? What happened?" Minerva asked placing a hand on his shoulder. Albus grabbed it and held on more for support then comfort.

"I do not know Minnie but it was dark… it was very very dark."

The woman tried to keep her own temper under control, "That is the last time I like to that man on your behalf. Next time I won't hesitate to tell him what you've done. Don't ask me to do it again." Minerva said and she motioned for Poppy to follow her out.

They left the old wizard with his thoughts.

**Let me know what you guys thought. **


	6. And The Years Fly By

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I wasn't sure if anyone was actually reading this story at first. I love writing it and I know it's hard to get into stories that are slow in the beginning. From here on out it is going to be mostly Severus and Harry. I feel like I have set up the story line well enough that I can start making the jumps I need. Soon enough Harry will be at Hogwarts but there is a huge twist coming if you can all be patient. What I would really like to here from any of the readers I have is if you think I am making Dumbledore to ooc. I wanted to tweak his personality a bit in the beginning as he is trying to win over Severus for the light. I want him to have moments of genuine kindness and generosity but I also want it to be made aware that he just starting to figure out what is going on with the boy and how Voldemort affected Harry. It's the beginning of everything that ends up happening in the books. **

** This story can go one of two ways and as of yet I haven't decided which way I want it to go. So I hope you enjoy it as it progresses! Thank you for the reviews. **

_**BookLover950**_**: Yes, harry is being kept in the cupboard, I am not yet sure if Severus will figure it out or not, Severus DOES meet Vernon Harry and Dudley never really get along in anything I've read hahaha and I am still debating if I will have harry project James, the reasoning behind his ability to project Lily is that she was the last one he saw before his parents were killed. Haven't decided if James will make an appearance or not. **

**Chapter 6**

**And The Years Fly By**

Severus waited in the park as per usual and soon Petunia came walking down the road holding the hands of both Dudley and Harry. As soon as Harry saw Severus he called out to him, "Bumall!"

He pulled away from his aunt and ran the rest of the way in excitement. Severus waited as ever un-moving and quiet. When the little boy reached him he jumped up and hugged around the man's slightly to big waist.

"Hello Mr. Potter." It was the same thing every month, he would sit and wait and now that the boy was three and a half he was running and jumping and moving quicker then a stunning spell could stop him and Severus often struggled to keep the boy still. Something was different today, however, Harry finished his hug and then stood very still as he twisted his hands and waited patiently.

"Mr. Potter?" Severus asked as the boy smiled at him, "Look! There's a bird!" Harry said pointing to the sky. Severus didn't look and the boy suddenly grew fidgety. "Harry, come here." Severus said softly. This made the boy brighten considerable and he came forward quickly as Severus picked him by. The boy flinched and Severus felt his mouth twitch, he glanced around and, though he found it odd that this play ground was empty most of the time, he was grateful today as he gently lifted up the back of Harry's shirt.

A large bruise was in the middle of his back and the boy flinched again when Severus lightly touched it. His heart came then in full blast as his stomach grew cold and his temper flared, if it had been possible steam would be escaping his ears as his fist clenched in a vice like grip.

"PETUNIA!" He roared as he picked Harry up and strode over to the woman who was gently pushing Dudley on the swing. She seemed shocked and her face paled as Severus gently lifted up the boy's shirt to reveal the darkened skin.

"I am a relatively well tempered man Petunia. And because of the fact you are Lily's sister I have yet to decimate you and your family. But I will not have you ignore my previous warnings. You keep Vernon's hands off the boy or I will Cruciartus Curse him into the afterlife!"

"Severus, please keep your voice down. It wasn't Vernon."

Severus had been going to continue to yell but the man stopped and waited to hear what excuse the woman had.

"Dudley was playing with him and the boy created one of those bubble things he likes to float around in… but Dudley… he popped it and Harry's back hit the corner of the coffee table and…"

"Did you take him to the doctor's Petunia?" Severus asked, his voice was dangerous and when Petunia took a step back Severus already knew the answer.

"I am going to kill all of you, Lily or not she wouldn't want this kind of neglect given to her son! If you and your filthy muggle husband aren't around then I will have an excuse to remove him. No family ties means he can come with me, if you two are dead the boy will be mine and I sure as hell won't let his injuries go this long with out treatment."

"But Vernon won't let me spend the money! I tried but when I brought it up he said it was just a bruise and that since the boy could still run and play we didn't need to spend the money!" Petunia's face was changing colors as she eyed the man with venom. Over the last few years the woman had gotten braver around him and Severus didn't like it. He was sorely tempted to just eradicate them all but the idea of having to clean up the mess and hide his trail stopped him. Not to mention he had sworn off killing when he had avowed to serve Dumbledore. That man took all his fun away.

"I was going to ask you to look at it when you got here today and just forgot, I figured you'd have a salve I could put on his back at night. You always seem to have something from your lab to give to the boy."

Severus felt his temper deflate as his ego gave a little lurch towards the obviously unintentional compliment.

Severus DID have a salve on hand, he always brought one incase Harry injured himself while they went through their required monthly tests.

"I have something that will work. Put it on his back once a day and don't be stingy. This bruise could have damaged more then just a few layers of skin. His muscles looked inflamed too. I am going to put some on right now and for Hecate's sake don't forget to put more on tomorrow and keep that pig of a son away from him!"

"It isn't my fault that Harry wants to play with the boy! He always approaches Dudley and he always ends up with bruises."

Severus sighed and didn't bother to respond. He turned and headed back to the bench realizing that neither Dudley nor Harry had made a single noise whilst the two of them had been fighting. Sitting down Harry finally pulled away, it was like the boy had been trying to blend in and disappear against Severus's black tunic.

"Bumall, are you made at Aunt Petunia?" Harry asked as he looked into the dark eyes of his protector.

"Yes, Harry, I am. She should have had you looked at when you fell on the table?"

"Table?" Harry asked looking down to take hold of Severus's hand. He turned the hand over to look at the palm and place his tiny one in his, "Hold my hand." Harry ordered and Severus felt his normally powerful grip waver as he tried to gently close his hand around Harry's.

"The tv told me that friends hold hands." Harry said not really paying attention as he looked around his environment. Sometimes the boy acted like he never went outside.

"Friends do hold hands." Severus said as Harry gave a sigh and finally lay back down against the large black chest. He placed his head on the man's shoulder and said sadly, "I'm hurting."

Severus didn't bother to respond though as he gently lifted the back of the little boy's rather stretched out shirt and then skillfully managed to grab the vile from out of his pant's pocket. He uncorked the top and poured some salve onto his hands.

"Harry, this will be cold. I expect you to stay still and be a good boy while I put this on your back."

"Will it help my ouch?" Harry asked a little to clearly.

"Yes," was all Severus said as he started to gently rub the salve onto the boy's cool skin.

"Do you not remember falling on the table?" Severus asked.

Harry tried to shake his head but Severus grunted and said, "Speak clearly Mr. Potter."

"No." Harry said in a slit grumpy tone.

"Do you remember how it happened?"

Harry shook his head aggressively and Severus sighed because he was supposed to check Harry's response to loud and aggressive stimuli today but the boy seemed suddenly worn out and tired. It was as if all his strength had been drained when Harry had run to see him.

"Are you hungry Harry?" Severus asked as he finally pulled the boy's shirt back down. The boy nodded quickly and Severus summoned a sandwich from the air. It had been his intended lunch, hidden with a concealment charm, but Harry seemed like he had needed it more. Severus also had a concealed apple floating around him too but he figured the sandwich would tie the boy over until dinner.

"Harry, we won't be doing any games today. You seem tired. I am going to leave once you finish your sandwich and we will do the games meant for today when I come back next month." Severus said as the boy slowly stopped chewing.

The sandwich was suddenly on the ground and Harry was wrapping his arms like a constrictive snake around the man's neck.

"STAY!" The boy suddenly yelled in a rather aggressive manner as Severus gently tried to release the boy's arm.

"Harry… Harry… Mr. Potter!" Severus barked. That got the boy's attention and he reluctantly let go and looked up at the man with tears in his eyes.

"I am afraid I have to go. I can't stay just because you want me to."

"But, I don't want… I don't want…" his little hands shook and he looked up at his protector with eyes filled with tears.

"Don't want what Harry?" Severus asked as he bent to pick up the sandwich.

"I don't want to fall again." Was all Harry said as Severus stared at him.

"No more bubbles then okay? The bubble charm usually only works when you are very little. Most of the time it is used underwater as a way for people to get air. It isn't meant to hold up large amounts of weight until you are skilled enough to sustain…" The words he was speaking were to advanced as of yet and he didn't know why he was wasting his time.

"Harry, no more making bubbles okay?" he said repeating his earlier simplified statement.

The boy nodded and then gave him another hug as Severus reached for his sandwich.

"I miss you when you leave." Severus felt his throat tighten up but he didn't say anything as he got Petunia's attention and motioned for her to come over.

"I love you." Harry said as he sat up and looked directly into the man's eyes. Severus was taken back and he just stared for a moment as those green eyes stared him down. Lily's eyes, bright and filled with life and now love too and Severus would have let his storming emotions take him over had Petunia not been on her way. He needed time alone with the boy next month. Maybe he could take him far away, and they could spend the day together.

"I…" Severus started to say and ended up simply kissing the boy on the top of his head and then nodding at him in silent admiration. Harry slid off the man's lap with his sandwich still in hand, "Petunia, please invest in some new clothes for the boy. He has worn the same shirt the last few times we have met. Also, keep up with his food, he seems to light again. Rub this on his back once a day and finally keep your hog of a boy away from him if he isn't going to play nicely."

The woman stiffly nodded and took the hand of her son and the free hand of Harry and started to walk them back towards the house. Severus was going to turn to go but heard Harry let out a squeal of protest, "No! I don't want to go! No… BUMALL! BUMALL I WANNA STAY! BUMALL!" He shrieked as Aunt Petunia dragged the boy along, she turned to look at Severus, "You aren't going to tell me that magical children's developmental stage of clinginess lasts longer then normal children's are you?"

Severus simply stared at her as he fought every urge in his body to run after the boy. Harry continued to rant and scream and rage and tried to sit down as he turned to reach back for the man standing there. The breeze pulled his hair away from his face and Severus stood waiting and listening until his ears couldn't hear the protests of the child anymore.

OOO

"Headmaster… please… please let me take the child! I can't continue this charade anymore. I can't pretend to not care for the child. Those muggles don't care about him and it's a curse to leave him in their guardianship. They don't appreciate him and they won't even take him to the doctor when he hurts himself. I will gladly watch him until he returns to school. I can find a place to stay, my parent's home in Spinner's end is perfectly placed and…"

"Severus." Dumbledore started.

Stopping for a moment the young man bit back sharp words that were meant to sting.

"He isn't happy." Severus pleaded as he looked at the ancient wizard before him.

"I understand your worry for the child. I know you've come to care for him as well. But the simple fact is, while Harry is under that roof he is the safest he could be. The blood wards will keep anyone who shouldn't be entering out and will allow you access, as you need it."

"But they don't love him!" Severus protested bluntly, "He maybe safe from the outside sources but not from the inside ones. I've almost hexed the Dursley's numerous times due to their neglect."

"Severus, we both knew there might be a small amount of that when we first started this endeavor. There was a chance, but as long as you are there nothing will happen that is too serious. You make the boy happy and I think as long as you are kind to him…"

"If this continues once a month won't be enough! My love won't be enough! I used to be worried he was going to grow up to be as arrogant and merciless as his father, but now all I can think of is him growing up to be as cold and bitter as me."

"Love from one person can change the future of the world." Dumbledore said.

"And hate can cause the downfall of humanity. You can't beat me this time old man. I am set in this decision. I will not stop with this until you allow me to take him."

Dumbledore looked composed as ever and Severus growled as he turned to stalk from the office.

OOOO

"And then Peter Pan flew down and grabbed Wendy from the rock!" Harry said as he lunged from a giant root angrily jutting from the ground. He landed in the grass and rolled and then stood and ran in a circle angling back at Severus who laid their on his side in the tall grass, he was propping himself up on his elbow and watched at the little boy ran in circles, arms spread and imitating his favorite new hero.

"Then hook came and grabbed him with his claw and shhhhhhckt!" Harry made a swishing sound and dived onto the man who suddenly had to protect his face from the slashing finger of a four year old.

"Mr. Potter!" Severus yelled as he rolled away but the boy followed and toppled over the man who then rolled the other way. Harry kept laughing as he tried to keep up but finally as Severus gave a final great roll in the other direction he caught Harry's leg and the boy went down as Severus came out of his protective shell and started to tickle the boy.

"NO!" Harry started to call through his ridiculous giggles, he swished his hooked finger back and fourth and finally as Severus gave up the boy came down quickly and hit the man's nose. Severus gave a grunt of a sound and then fell onto his back, arms spread.

Silence as Harry's head popped up to examine his new kill. He crawled forward slowly and at the last minute jumped on the man who gave another slightly louder grunt and then shot forward to pull Harry onto his lap. He folded his legs up under the boy and Harry's legs stuck out, his heels digging into the sand.

Severus protectively wrapped his arms around the boy who stared out with him at the freshly setting sun. They would have to go back soon. It had been almost four months since Severus had stopped running Dumbledore's ridiculous tests. He was sick of the man, and though his allegiance was straight and true he didn't want to test or examine the boy anymore. He just wanted to make him smile and spend time with him.

"I miss you when you go away." Harry said.

The two were on a hill overlooking a large expanse of wind blow grass and the large and ever expanding neighborhood of Little Winging was off in the distance. Severus had started showing up a half hour after the fat blob of a man had gone to work. He would meet Petunia halfway to the park and take Harry from there. They would be gone until a half hour before five when the big oaf would return.

So it was, that once a month for eight or so hours these two boys would come to this hill and play. They would spend all day there just rolling around in the grass and laughing and Severus would tell him stories and Harry would have imaginary adventures while Severus watched him jump and roll and dodge an invisible sword. It was great fun, but at this point, with how tightly Dumbledore was trying to pull Severus's reigns, the man was lucky he had gotten away with this for so long. Taking Harry this far away from the blood wards protection was dangerous. But most of the Dark Lord's followers were in hiding or had made it through their trials and either been sentenced to Azkaban or been released under magical probation.

"I miss you too when I have to go away." Severus said letting his guard slide a little since no one was around.

"Why can't I go with you when you leave?" Harry asked as his still child like voice was high and curious.

"Because... it is to dangerous." Severus finally concluded that the truth, to a degree, was okay to share with the lad.

"You live far away?" Harry asked.

"Yes, very far. Harry… I have something for you." Severus said as he gently tried to change the subject.

"Like a present?" Harry asked in shock as he pushed up from the man's lap and turned to look at him.

"Exactly like a present." Severus said pulling from his cloak a small thinly wrapped gift.

"Happy Birthday." The man said as he watched the boy smile and rip into the paper with excitement.

Severus watched as the excitement faded but didn't disappear.

"Is this a book?" Harry asked as the man eyed him carefully. Lily had loved books, but Severus almost never saw James with one. It was a 50/50 bet if the boy would have even known what a book was by this point.

"Yes, it's a book on magical creatures." The man said taking the book from the boy and opening it.

Harry crawled back into the man's lap and sat ready to begin.

Severus started to read slowly, it wasn't a realistic expectation to think that Harry could read at the age of four. Severus had never met a four year old that could read at least, not that he had met many children. But Severus thought it would be nice to start working on it early. If Harry had a picture book that he could look at that was as simple as this one with the bigger letters and short sentences then maybe he would be able to read earlier then the other children and he could get ahead in his studies.

The idea suddenly made Severus smile wickedly, "You are going to be so much smarter then your daddy." Harry looked up at him and hesitated before he laughed and said, "You're funny Bumall!"

Severus wasn't sure why the child found humor in that but he thought it was wonderful that the boy would laugh at his father with Severus.

A short time later it was time to go and Severus got everything ready, giving the boy a potion for nutrients and then one to vanish the few tiny bruises that the fat pig child had left due to what Harry called a game of "pinch and poke."

The walk back always took a little longer then the walk out due to how tired Harry usually was after having run around the hill all day. They were less then half a mile away when Severus noticed Harry lagging.

"Are you tired?" Severus asked.

Harry reluctantly nodded and Severus bent down to allow the boy to wrap his arms around his neck. He picked Harry up and continued walking. As they rounded the corner onto Private drive Severus stopped a moment in shock when he saw a car in the drive in front of the house.

This was not good.

Severus waited a moment, what was the proper course of action? Should he return the boy or wait? Petunia and Severus had gotten away with four years of passing the boy back and fourth with out her husband knowing. He was home early for the first time since this whole thing started. Either there had been an emergency or Severus's luck had just run out.

There nothing to be done, perhaps it was better this way though, then Severus wouldn't have to be restricted with in the time frame of eight hours. The man was probably not reasonable but maybe if Severus played his cards right he could work this to his advantage.

He walked forward holding the boy tightly to him. Harry's head had been resting on the man's shoulder but as Severus moved up the front walk of the house the boy tensed and he lifted his head.

"Uncle is home…" he said in a soft voice.

Severus did not reply and continued as he pushed any emotions he had allowed to leak out during the day into a tight box. The last thing he said to the boy with a soft voice was, "You're my favorite." It was Harry's turn not to reply as Severus reached his hand up and knocked on the door.

OOO

When the door opened it was quick and the man standing in the doorway was large, short and had a slightly red face with a vein pulsing near his temple.

There was silence for a moment before the heavy man took a step back and allowed Severus to step across the threshold. He set Harry down and the boy instantly moved to stand behind Severus.

"So you're the one." The man said as he eyed the young man up and down.

"Indeed. Where is Petunia?" Severus asked not letting the fear that was trying to push through show. He was not by any means scared of the fat muggle in front of him. He was scared for Harry, scared that when he left this man might hurt the boy. There was a small sparkle in his eye, but not the kind that Dumbledore often had, this one was on the slightly menacing side.

"Don't you say her name." The man warned and he adopted a slightly more aggressive stance, "I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to think that my wife would…"

Severus eyed the man carefully and placed the tips of his fingers on Harry's head trying to keep the boy behind him and unnoticed.

"I've been made a fool of. Jim _said_ he had seen a man coming and going from the house while I was at work. Talking to Petunia, taking the boys to the park to meet in secret. I never imagined the man she was seeing behind my back would be such a child…"

So that was why the man was home early, he had been trying to catch Petunia and Severus in the act of an affair. The idea made Severus's stomach turn.

"I think you have the wrong idea… where is your wife?"

"That is none of your concern!" The man yelled as he moved a little closer, "Your young, handsome and most definitely mysterious but you don't have the things she needs. Stability, money… bet you blow in three seconds. Being young and handsome is not always the best if you can't pleasure the woman."

"Enough! I have not been sleeping with your wife. I have no interest in her at all intimately or otherwise."

"Oh really? Why then? You come here, take the boy and then drop him off. You can't win a woman over by disappearing with a child for a few hours. Just because she doesn't like the boy doesn't mean she will give it up for any Joe and Johnny that comes along to take him away for the day."

"I am here for one reason and one reason alone and that would be… him."

Severus gently pushed Harry from out behind him and the boy looked at his feet keeping his hands in front of him, wringing his fingers like he was in trouble.

"The boy? You expect me to believe that you have been coming here just to see that runt of a thing. Preposterous!"

Severus shrugged, "I am the boy's… counselor. I've been spending the last four years making sure that he hasn't suffered any trauma from the loss of his parents."

"A likely story. Perfect cover too since the boy is a freak! No one would question it if they were your common garden variety moron. I know better though, I've seen this before; get tired of the bull so she goes out to find a stallion. But she won't be satisfied, she'll come around. You'll see, you'll be out the door before next month comes around when I remind her of our love."

"Indeed… if you don't mind Mr. Potter hasn't eaten and I have paper work to deliver to my… boss. Kindly fetch Petunia to make sure that the boy gets taken care of won't you?"

The man's face grew a deeper shade of red; it was just about to turn purple when Harry suddenly dashed forward trying to get passed the man. It had been a thoroughly un-planned decision but apparently Harry had seen the man get mad before and he wanted to brace for the brunt of the storm.

"Oh no you don't! You are the cause of this!" The older man gripped the boy by the back of his neck and quickly moved and opened the cupboard under the stairs. "Get in you little freak!" The man gave a hard toss and Severus heard a thump and then the door was slammed and locked.

Before another word was said Severus had his wand drawn and he stood ready to blast the man away, "How dare you!" Severus almost bellowed fighting every nerve to keep from killing the man with an unforgivable curse.

The man froze looking at the wand in Severus's hand, "Y-your one of them! You're a freak too! How dare you come into my house! How dare you touch my wife!"

Suddenly a loud bang came from up stairs and Petunia came rushed down the stairs, her son no where to be seen.

She lunged in front of her husband and threw her arms out, "SEVERUS NO!"

"Petunia… would I be right to assume that Harry… your NEPHEW… has been living in the cupboard under the stairs for the last three years?" The tone in his voice was acidic, he would kill both of them and take Harry and run. He wouldn't allow them to do this, not to Lily's son, not while he could stop it.

"Severus I…"

"Shut up… Petunia you are the vilest, most disgusting and cruel woman I have ever had the misfortune to meet. And you, you fat, smelly and ugly lump of a pathetic human being… open the cupboard and let Harry out. Now."

"Vernon please… do it… let the boy out now!" Petunia said not moving from her position in front of her husband.

The man stared at the two and suddenly realized that they were not, in fact having an affair and he quickly went to the cupboard to let the boy out.

"He is coming with me and you will never have to see him again and I will never have to come back to this filthy muggle house." The boy quickly crawled out and ran to Severus who took the boy's hand and started to take slow even steps back towards the door.

"Mr. Potter, please get the front door." Harry's little hand took hold of the knob and turned it quickly. As the door swung opened Severus heard a noise behind him and on instinct, with out any thought at all wheeled around and fired a stunning spell. The stranger on the front stoop went flying out over the yard and into the street.

"JIM!" the fat man yelled as he lunged past his wife to grab Harry by the hair. He yanked the boy back hard out of Severus's hand and once again, his reflexes taking over, his mind not thinking of anything but survival flung back around and fired another stun that collided with the fat man's chest and sent him flying down the hall and through the glass of the kitchen door. Harry was on the floor and scrambled to get away from Severus.

"Harry…" Severus said softly putting his hand out for the boy.

Harry hid his head behind his aunt's dress and just barely peeked out, Severus heard the soft cries the boy was emitting and he dropped to his knees.

Petunia stood there stunned in a different way, having just watched her neighbor Jim and her husband being thrown around like rag dolls, she seemed to be in shock.

"Harry… please come here. Please come over to me." Severus said in a light voice, he was being as gentle as possible but for a long moment the boy didn't budge.

"Please Harry… come to me? I won't hurt you. I only did that to your uncle because he was hurting you… I would never do that to you… Bumall's sorry."

The boy slowly poked his head out and looked up at his aunt who was still not moving, her face staring out the front door in a permanently frozen state.

"Bumall, I'm scared." The boy said softly as he slowly stepped out from behind his aunt, fat tears rolled down his tiny cheeks and Severus felt his heart break.

"Please… don't you want to come with me away from here? I love you." Severus said having run out of all other soothing words. It was the last thing he had in the arsenal, he was baring his very soul for all to see. The last time he had loved a pair of green eyes they had belong to the boy's mother, now it would seem the love had shifted, Severus felt his chest tighten and his eyes fill with tears. His hand dropped and he lowered his face allowing hair to hide his pathetic display.

Less then a moment later he felt small palms come to rest on his cheeks and his face was raised by the little boy who had finally come over.

"Bumall, why are you crying?"

Severus sighed and wrapped the boy up in his arms, hugging him as tears continued to roll down his face. "I love you Bumall." Harry said softly into the man's neck.

Severus hugged the boy tighter and picked him up, "No need to show me out Petunia. Your husband and neighbor will be fine in about an hour. I wouldn't worry with calling the authorities."

Severus stepped out onto the front stoop and was going to head to the street when he was forced to stop once more. A man stood in his way, a tall thin man with a white beard and crest moon spectacles. His face was as solid as a stone and his hand was held up to indicate the words HALT.

"Albus, please help me. The boy… they were…"

"Severus, what have you done?" Albus asked in a very strict tone.

"I… it needed to be done. The boy can't stay here!" Severus said pulling the boy tighter.

"You attacked two muggles… in broad daylight. You are kidnapping a child for everyone to see!"

"What? No! I am saving him! They are the worst sorts of muggles. You can't begin to imagine…"

"You will come to find I have a very good imagination Severus…"

A movement out of the corner of his eye made the dark haired man turn, there were three Aurors slowly closing in.

Bumall…" Harry said, as he pulled tighter, he was watching as he looked over the man's shoulder.

"Albus! Don't do this! He needs me!" Severus begged.

"Does he really need you? You've become very attached to the boy. I think you need to step back and spend a few months away from him."

"You can't do that!" Severus barked as he spun to look at the four Aurors closing in. He was cornered, he hated being cornered, and he couldn't let them leave Harry here! He had to do something.

Severus raised his wand and readied to fight, but before he could say a single spell a searing pain shot through his back and he crumpled to the ground. Dumbledore lowered his wand and his sad eyes stared down at the young man on the ground.

Harry was lying across the man's chest and quickly sat up pulling at Severus's arm.

"Bumall! BUMALL WAKE UP!"

A man strode forward and pulled Severus up so that he was on his knees. The Auror held Severus's hands behind his back and after another moment Severus managed to look up.

Harry was being pulled away; a man had his arm and was pulling him back towards the house.

"Bumall!" Harry screeched and Severus lurched forward hard enough that one of his hands broke free of the Aruor's hold. He pushed forward but his other arm, which was still being held, caused him to lose his balance and he was on his knees again. He reached out his free hand grasping at air. Harry pulled against the Auror and his tiny hand slipped away. He burst fourth and tightly grabbed onto Severus.

"Severus, please don't make this any harder on him that it has to be." Came Albus's soft voice.

"Bumall, don't go!" Harry protested.

Another Auror came up and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist pulling the boy off of Severus, the man threw out his hand again and Harry desperately reached for it.

"BUMALL!" Their fingers barely reached and just as Severus thought he might be able to grab the boy his hand his arm was yanked back and now two of the four Aurors were holding him down on his knees.

"Bumall, don't go!" Harry shouted again as he disappeared inside. The last Auror had Jim over his shoulder and was taking him into the house as well. A quick flick of Dumbledore's wrist replaced the front door correctly on it's hinges and before Severus could do anything else he was pulled down the street and away from Number Four Private drive and away from Harry and any promise he had ever made to Lily.


	7. Betrayal and Understanding

**A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! **

**I want to thank **_**Rumor of an Alchemist **_**for giving such a great advice and helping me to make sure I have an idea of where I am heading with this story. Also correcting me with certain sociopolitical events in Britain at the time that I was not aware of and should have taken into consideration this last chapter. I will be more on top of that in the future! **

**I also want to thank **_**San Juanita Hernandez**_** who noticed my mistake in having Quirrell at the school. Once I can get my hands on a copy of the timeline I plan to go back and check all my chapters for flaws in the placement of certain teachers. **

**I am also happy to say that all those who reviewed most of your questions will actually be answered in this chapter! If I fail to answer any questions then you can let me know and I will fill you in. **

**My goal for this story is to make the events as realistic as possible in relations to the events of the books and or movies. I take pride in my writing to a degree but still know I've got a lot to improve on. **

**Now, as for this chapter, try to be patient. It may seem slow but its needed to set up chapter 8 which will be DAT DA DA DAAH! Harry's first year at Hogwarts! **

**Please enjoy! **

**Chapter 7**

**Betrayal and Understanding **

**Or**

**To Error is Human**

Severus sat down in a chair before the Headmaster's desk. He had stopped crying and had schooled his emotions into a blank expression that sat on his face like a mask of stone. His knuckles were white as he watched Albus pace behind his desk with his hands locked tightly behind his back.

"Severus, I am afraid it is time we have a conversation that seems to be long over due." The elder wizard finally said.

Severus said nothing as the man continued to pace. "I was hoping that my assumptions of your time with the boy were incorrect. But as I've come to understand you've not only been spending more time with Harry then intended but you discontinued his monthly exams and have been taking him outside of the neighborhood, which only increases the danger you have rather willingly put the boy in!"

Severus wanted to block the man's voice from his head, he wanted to ignore everything the man was saying, but part of him knew he had directly put Harry in danger with his selfish acts and it wasn't hard to understand the man's fury.

"I've come to understand your strong desire to take the boy away from the Dursley's but I need you to understand why I cannot allow it."

Severus still remained silent and unmoving, "Rumors have been spreading. Harry is being watched and I must make you understand that the neglect he may suffer at the hands of his relatives would be bearable compared to what would happen should an unfriendly get their hands on the boy. You know better then anyone else how cruel Voldemort's followers can be. Those that have remained free would gladly torture and kill the boy if it meant avenging the Dark Lord. I would rather the boy miss a few meals and only have to deal with less then a fraction of the pain if it means keeping him away from hands, which in most cases, would deliver a most painful death."

"I have dealt personally with abuse Albus. If they think they can get away with it the neglect and abuse will only grow over the years! They could end up killing him themselves if they are given the chance. The braver the fat pig of a man gets the less he will hold back!"

"I am aware of many things Severus, including the tendencies of abusive parents or guardians. I took the liberty of looking into the remaining files we have here at the school and at Magical Child Protective Services, your files Severus."

Severus stood and slammed his hands down on the desk before him, "You had no right! You have no right to do anything you've been doing! Keeping me away from Harry, forcing the boy to stay there, looking into my personal files! You have crossed the line to many times!"

"And yet you have let me. Part of you knows what I do is for the greater good."

"Do you even know what the greater good is anymore? The past four years have been some of the best of my life and now you think uprooting it is the best for everyone. You seem to be paranoid that something horrible will happen. WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME BE HAPPY!"

"You are taking your separation from Harry to personal. This isn't a direct attack on you or the boy."

"I thought we were friends!" Severus yelled as he kicked the chair he had been sitting on down the stairs that lay behind it. It shattered when it hit the floor below and Severus turned to look at Albus whose eyes looked strained.

"I am your friend Severus. Truth be told, one of the few I have. I have come to trust your wisdom and advice; your levelheaded nature allows you to see past the emotional realizations of most. You focus on logic and the cold blunt truth. You are not afraid to be honest and tell me what you think. I need that Severus; I need to be reminded of my own fallibility. You are very important to me and to this cause. I trust you, I have come to rely on you and I can't continue to fight this war with out you."

"War? What war? The Dark Lord is gone! There have been no signs, no evidence. Nothing that would allow any sane man to come to the conclusion that the Dark Lord will return. Some speculate it would be impossible, even if part of his soul was still intact."

"The Dark Lord will return Severus and when he does I will need you to be ready to do things that you will not want to. I cannot have you distracted by Harry. I thought that letting you get close to the boy would help you to heal from the past events that have occurred in your life. Instead, you are using him as a crutch and a way to ebb your guilt. That is not to say you do not care for the child, but I fear you hold onto him to tightly. I need you sharp, uncompromised and ready to fight."

"What makes you think Harry would compromise me?" Severus asked as he crossed his arms and tightened his fists.

"If a spy for the Dark Lord were to see you caring for Harry, if someone were to notice how you act towards the boy… if they were to even suspect for a moment that the boy was a weakness to you, someone that they could use against you to get to me or to gain information… Severus you know all this. You know why it is to dangerous for you to continue to see the boy."

Severus had been prepared to fight for Harry tonight; he had been ready to do what ever was necessary to make sure that when he went to bed tonight the boy would be sleeping soundly in a room near by. But as it was now, after this rather disturbing conversation Severus knew that Albus had made to many good points.

"I was able to talk the Ministry from detaining and questioning you since I agreed to do whatever was necessary to get you under control and to cover up any lose ends. You are now under Ministry ordered probation until the end of the year and will be watched for signs of instability and reversion to the dark side."

Severus looked to his feet and nodded, suddenly he felt very silly. He felt like he had been caught trying to sneak out and was being sent to his room to think about his actions. In a way Severus had acted very foolish tonight, and had he not been feeling so sorry for himself he may have blushed from humiliation. He had attacked two muggles and almost cursed an Auror. All for Harry, all for Lily's Harry.

"Headmaster, I understand the egregiousness of my mistakes and will accept my punishment with out argument. But only if you promise me one thing…"

"Anything my dear boy." Dumbledore said stepping forward.

"I want you to go to Number Four Private drive and make Petunia swear to not allow the boy to be neglected beyond that which would be irreparable. Make her understand that just because I won't be there doesn't mean someone isn't watching. If I cannot protect the boy directly then I will work indirectly and through others. Make me this promise and I will be obedient and contrite."

Dumbledore thought a moment and then sighed, "I had already planned to make the trip, to see for myself how the boy is coming along and to see what I can of their neglect. I do take your fears under consideration when it comes to the boy. I won't walk away from this until I can make sure that he will be well looked after."

"Perhaps, I could see him one last time? To say good-bye?" Severus asked as he tried to control the tone in his voice.

Dumbledore hesitated as Severus looked into the old man's faded eyes.

"Albus?" Severus questioned.

"There is one last thing to discuss."

For a moment there was silence and Severus readied himself for bad news, since the twinkle was gone from the elder wizard's eyes Severus figured it was _really_ bad news.

"Harry's memories will be altered, some erased all together."

Severus was still, his breathing remained even and his eyes were devoid of any misgivings. Part of him wasn't surprised, another part of him felt like he had known this was coming, and that last remaining part hoped that this was a cruel joke.

The only thing Severus could think to say came out soft but cold, "Why?"

Dumbledore was silent for a long time but Severus just waited patiently, he wasn't going to like the answer either way.

"The truth of the matter is… it will benefit you, the boy and our plans for him in the future if he doesn't…" Severus couldn't tell if Dumbledore was trying to choose his words carefully or if telling him was just as painful for him as it would be for Severus.

Finally Dumbledore approached Severus and placed his hand on the man's shoulder, the gesture had become to be familiar to Severus, he found comfort in it but he knew what it meant. Nothing ever good came from Dumbledore's comforting hand.

"He can't know you Severus. The relationship you had with him cannot be present in your future interactions with the boy. At school or otherwise, he must not seem to overly fond of you. It's just to great of a risk to everything we will be trying to accomplish."

This time the silence was thick and though he was trying to control himself Severus was starting to shake and the realization of the situation was really starting to sink in. Everything he had worked to accomplish with the boy was for nothing. He had tried to teach the boy how to be a decent person. Severus had tried to show him the kindness and love he had not been receiving at home, he had hoped that the boy wouldn't grow up to be like his father. No signs of egotism, cruelty or judgmental thinking had appeared yet, but it was very early in the boy's life.

The next few years could seriously change his mentality and if the boy showed up at Hogwarts six years from now with his father's flaws Severus wasn't sure he would be able to control his anger or patients. He could have made sure the boy had been like Lily but now it seemed so unlikely that Severus had to put his face into his hands to keep himself from staring at the man before him with spite.

"It is our hope that he will still grow to be much the powerful wizard his father was and the kind hearted witch that his mother was. But in the end Harry will be his own person, pulling attributes from both. No matter if you had been there these next few years or not. He will grow up to be whom ever he wants to be."

Severus had nothing to say, he was speechless and hurting and even though he wouldn't ever admit it part of his heart was breaking.

"When will he be…" Severus couldn't finish.

"I will be going to his Aunt and Uncle's tomorrow night, I will talk to him and then if he seems of sound mind and body we will proceed with removing and altering certain memories. I will speak with his guardians about their future treatment of the boy after Harry is taken care of."

Severus sighed and then stood on shaky legs, he was about to say something but thought against it and turned to go with a nod of his head.

Dumbledore seemed to want to leave things on a positive note and called to the man, Severus didn't feel his usual annoyance with last minute comments and turned to look at the man, unable to hide the pain in his eyes.

"In six years he will be returning to this school, and when he does he will need protection. Though you interactions have to be restrained… I do hope that you will come to find the boy lives up to your hopeful expectations. And when this is all over… perhaps a new bridge can be built."

Severus didn't bother to nod as he turned and moved slowly from the ancient wizard's office.

OOO

Albus Dumbledore was not an easy man to upset. And when he did get upset he was very good at keeping it a secret. Right now his emotions were as turbulent as a storm at sea as he slowly walked up the sidewalk to Number Four Private drive.

The look that had been on Severus's face at the mention of Harry having his memories altered or erased had nearly broken his own will. It was as if Dumbledore felt something inside of him changing. He had often mused to himself, while he paced in his office, that he was a man capable of many things. Thoughts of his own inner strength often gave him reassurance. His own ego, having been burnt down over the years was a gentel bed of coals in his stomach and he often times had to make sure that the fire wasn't starting to burn again.

The mistakes that he had made in his past, the people he had lost along the way… Ariana, the trust of his brother Aberforth, his long ago friend Gellert, whom he had defeated for the good of all and his parents. And still the list continued with many of his friends from the original order, including James and Lily.

He felt their deaths press into him and for a moment he wanted to stop all this and reevaluate his current stance on many of the issues he had been trying to face.

Severus Snape had finally come around, swearing allegiance to him and taking everything the man through at him in stride. But now, to see how hollow the young man appeared to be really struck a sensitive nerve.

Albus had been on the wrong path for a long time as he grew up, he had had the wrong mindset like Severus had had. Now, the man had shown real progress in contributing to Dumbledore's plans. He trusted the man, found that he cared for him and often times felt like he could be considered the closest thing to a son Albus would ever have.

And yet he had done the unthinkable, he had destroyed Severus's one true chance at happiness. All for the greater good, but Severus was right, Albus wasn't sure if he really knew what the greater good was anymore. Knowing that the Dark Lord Voldemort would return was a certainty and knowing that the Dark Lord would have to be stopped was also a certainty. But how could the greater good be served at the expense of a broken young man and the boy who lived? Why was he the one who had to tear the two apart, why did he have to be directly responsible for more suffering?

Was the greater good that important? It was, because even if Severus had been allowed to take Harry and raise him and love him, in the end when the Dark Lord had returned they both would have been killed. Their time together would have been sweet and perfect, but for how long? How long was having a family a strong enough reason to defy life's great tests if there was a time limit to it all?

For now, Albus would have to stick to the task at hand and as he moved up the walk way to the door at Number Four he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to look Harry in the eyes and say, "Bumall is not coming back."

OOOO

A knock on the front door drew Petunia from her roast that she was lovingly preparing. It had only been a day since the attack by Severus and she still felt like she had to walk on eggshells. Vernon had been on the couch ever since with a bad back and shaky knees. She had catered to him and he had called into work and asked for the next few days off in order to heal from a "_rather bad case of the sniffles."_

There had been a sharp silence between them but Petunia had not allowed that to stop her from performing her duties. She had taken care of their son, kept Harry out of Vernon's line of sight and had made sure that her husband was well taken care of.

This had been her fault and she wasn't going to allow her marriage to fall apart. But when that knock came, she swallowed and continued to look at her roast, perfectly garnished and ready to be put into the oven. Her hand had started to shake and she fought her imagination as she saw Severus breaking down the door, killing her whole family and taking Harry to some strange abnormal part of the world.

Instead, another knock sounded and Vernon, having been roused from his long nap called for her to open it. She reluctantly set down her spoon and removed her apron, the walk down the main hallway was torture enough but grabbing the handle to open the door was what really made her sweat.

However, Severus did not greet her. It was a very old man, with a long silvery beard and dark purple robes. His half moon spectacles shined in the hall light and he gave her a warm smile.

"Good evening Mrs. Dursley. May I come in? It would not do to dwell out in the open."

The woman wanted to refuse but she thought better of it after seeing how easily her husband had been flung across the house. She knew a freak when she saw one and this man was one of them. She was helpless at this point and in the back of her mind she begged for nothing to come of this visit.

She stepped aside but did not accommodate with a friendly smile, instead she allowed a scowl to settle onto her rather gaunt face.

"Thank you for your hospitality." The man said with a slight bow of his head.

He walked passed her with even slow strides and moved down the hall and into the living room. She followed just as slowly but kept her eyes on the man in front of her.

As soon as the man walked into the living room Vernon let out a loud yell, "What are you doing here!"

The tone did not indicate familiarity, but accusation and anger. Petunia was going to move forward to stand behind her husband but as Vernon started to holler out complaints his head lulled back and he started to snore.

"W-what? What have you done?" She asked as she rushed around the couch and sat next to Vernon, she leaned across him to look at the man's face, which appeared much like that of when he was sleeping.

"Please do not fear Petunia. I had originally planned to talk to both you and your husband but seeing as he appears to be rather… put out but my visit I shall have to resort to speaking directly to you."

"How do you know my name?" she asked, it was a rather silly question considering that magic was…well… magic. But it had been the first response that came to her mind.

"I am an acquaintance of an old friend of yours."

She gave him a questioning look and the old man replied, "Severus."

"He is no friend of mine. Attacking my husband and neighbor, making everyone wonder what has been going on here. I had to come up with a story otherwise we would have been seen as even bigger freaks then…" she caught herself then. She knew from experience not to anger a wizard.

"What do you want?" She asked irritably.

The old man seemed to ignore her previous comment about freaks and moved straight into business, "I have come on behalf of Severus and the wizarding community to offer apologize for the mishaps that took place on your front lawn and in your home. I have also come to speak with you about Harry."

"The boy? Why does everything seem to lead back to the boy!"

"He is the boy-who-lived. But the time to explain that is not now. Petunia, there are certain issues that need to be addressed. Starting with your husband."

Petunia felt the blood run from her face and she eyed the man suspiciously.

"What of him?" She asked.

"Prior to my arrival here I had hoped to talk with both you and him, as I said before. However, he does not seem to be very willing to talk. I have come to wonder if he is also giving you the cold shoulder as well?" Petunia noticed a small smirk on the man's face but she dare not lie to him.

"He has been rather unhappy, yes."

"I come offering a gift of peace. I can remove his memories of the previous night and he will be back to his old self with in the hour. I will also remove any other more… compromising ideas from him as well. Your neighbor, as I have come to understand it, has already had his memories modified and will not remember anything of the past four years, this includes seeing Severus come and go from your home. It would be as if the past four years never happened."

Petunia felt the shock on her face but didn't let on at the urgency she felt to have the man do this. She hated magic; she had hated her sister because she could use it. Petunia would be a hypocrite if she allowed this man to alter her husband's memories, but if it meant getting things back to normal…

"I also need to speak with Harry. In light of the current circumstances I believe it would benefit Harry to have a few of his memories removed as well. But not before I speak with him to see how he is doing. The boy must be of the right mind or his memories and thoughts could be damaged."

"Damaged?" Petunia asked with out even thinking.

"Difficult thing memories, they are part of us, a way to recall our mistakes or happy moments in our life. However, I think under these particular circumstances, and with how attached the boy has become to Severus… certain aspects of his memories need to be altered or erased. It will not do for the boy to dwell on Severus, especially since he won't be returning."

This time Petunia did not try to hide anything, she let out a breath and glanced at her husband and then back at the old man before her.

"Severus won't be… is he in jail?"

"No. I am quite happy to say he was not given such a severe punishment. However, he will not be returning and therefore it will not do to have Harry go looking for him in the near future, nor will it be favorable to have the boy remember the man once he arrives at Hogwarts."

"H-Hogwarts!" Petunia bit, "What makes you think we will be sending him-"

"I am afraid my time is short, will you allow me to do what I came to do? Or shall I escort myself out?"

There was a feeling of certainty in the air about the man; Petunia realized he wasn't actually going to leave with out doing what he came to do. He was being polite, something that was obviously important to the man. However, she knew that he was ready to perform his magical amnesia on both Harry and her husband even if she protested.

All she could do was nod.

OOOO

When Petunia opened the door to the room upstairs Dumbledore was greeted by two little boys playing on the floor. Well, one was playing the other looked terrified. The rather larger boy had the small thinner one pinned to the ground and was poking him with a small wooden log over and over in the forehead right on his scar.

"Dudikins!" Petunia said with less concern then would have been granted for the situation.

She moved forward and picked the chubby boy up, she didn't spare a glance for Albus as she left the room, the boy in her arms giving her a questioning look. Albus was left looking at the rather small child who was sitting up and trying to arrange his to large clothing to sit on him properly again.

"Hello Harry." Albus said in a soft voice.

Upon seeing the man before him Harry stood rather quickly and backed away.

"You took Bumall." He said uncertainly.

Dumbledore felt his heart sink a little, he hadn't been sure if the boy would remember him or not. He had to be calm with the boy or else he may spook him. He had better stick as close to honesty as he could. But it was a thin line; he could only speak so much truth before the boy would not be able to understand.

"Yes, I did."

"Why?" Harry asked as he fisted the cuffs of his shirt. Dumbledore smiled, he knew someone else who had a tendency to fist his clothing when nervous or agitated.

Dumbledore evaded the question by moving forward to kneel down and pick up one of the brown logs on the floor.

"Do you enjoy playing with these?" he asked giving the boy a soft smile.

Harry hesitated and then nodded as he watched the man carefully.

"I dare say I've never seen such a thing as _Lincoln Logs_, perhaps you could show me how to use them?" Albus asked as he gently held out a log to the boy. Eyeing the log and then the hand holding it, Harry slowly reached out a hand and took hold of the log.

About twenty minutes later they were in the process of building a barn to add to their rather handsome cabin. They hadn't been speaking; the building process seemed to be a rather serious matter to Harry who was deep in focus. If any words were spoken it was only from Harry who would point and tell Dumbledore were to add a log or to tell him that a log wasn't the proper size and that he should use a different one.

Eventually they had a cabin, barn and a coral for horses. Dumbledore smiled politely at the boy and then pulled out his wand.

"You are missing something." Harry looked up at the old wizard with curiosity and Dumbledore waved his wand.

A small assortment of toy soldiers and two horses appeared. Harry's eyes sparkled at the toys and then he looked up at Dumbledore and smiled.

"To be kept between us Harry. You'd do best to hide them from your cousin, as I've noticed he has a knack for misplacing and destroying things." Dumbledore said as he eyed the large amount of ripped, torn, scratched, broken and all together destroyed piles of toys around them.

Harry nodded and started to pick the toys up and stick them into his pockets.

"Are you tired?" Dumbledore asked as he noticed the boy hiding a yawn.

Harry didn't reply but instead sat there quietly, Dumbledore knew his time with the child was up and that he had to finish his visit and do what he had come to do.

Waving his wand was easy but controlling the slight tremor in his hand was more complicated then expect, he knew deep down he wanted nothing to do with this.

"Sleep Harry and dream of flying." The boy's eyes grew heavy and as his small body started to tip to the right Dumbledore stretched out a hand to gently catch the boy's head and lay him lightly on the ground. He placed the boy on his back and gave a heavy sigh.

"I do not know how the future will come about. I do not know if you will be able to recover from everything that has happened. I only hope that you will be able to be kind, loving and…"

Tears had not been in the old man's eyes for years, he hadn't felt this horribly guilty since Ariana.

"Please forgive me." Dumbledore placed his wand next to the boy's temple and closed his eyes. "Bumall loves you, he wanted you to know. Tuck it away in your heart Harry. Bumall loves you very much and some day you two will be able to be together and be a proper family." Dumbledore was whispering this as he started the bitter work of altering Harry's memories.

OOOO

Minerva stared at the crack of Dumbledore's office door with worry. The man never left his office door cracked. It was either open or shut. She had ordered Tawney the house elf to tell her when Dumbledore had returned. It was well passed midnight when the little elf had popped into her chambers and informed Minerva that Master Dumbledore had returned and that he looked very… different.

Minerva had rushed through the castle stopping only to notice that Severus was sitting in the middle of the courtyard staring up at the moon. His eyes looked red but his face was resolute. His pale skin had shined in the light and other then the wind in his dark hair he was unmoving as his eyes searched the sky for something.

She was now peeking in through the crack of the door and looking at the man who was sitting with his back to her. The top of his head just barely visible over the back of his favorite armchair and a fire roared before him in the fireplace. A glass of brandy floated next to his arm, which seemed to be gripping the wooden claws of the armchair in a desperate attempt to keep hold of his disposition.

"Please do come in Minnie." Came a very soft voice and Minerva jumped a little as she guiltily peered in and pushed the door open.

She stood there unsure of what she should do, her hands were folded before her and she tried to keep the look of worry at bay as she decided she had better approach.

"Albus… are you alright?" she asked in a rather to kind voice.

Silence followed for a short bit as Albus motioned to the chair next to him. She sat slowly not wanting to pull him from his thoughts to early.

"I am not. But in time perhaps I shall regain my rather unnatural jolly spirit."

"I wouldn't call being jolly unnatural." Minerva said sharply as she started to consider that this was some sort of self-pity.

"It is not what you think Minnie. I can't bring myself to my usual good mood. I am… perhaps the best term would be, brooding."

"Why so Albus? What is causing it?"

Albus gripped the wooden end of the chair's arms more tightly and his knuckles turned white. His face was pale, what little could be seen of it anyway. There was no twinkle in his eye, no small smile on his lips and there seemed to be no life in him at all.

"Albus please, we've always kept our relationship as professional as possible in public but you know I consider you a friend and confidant. I would do anything for you. You can trust me to keep your secrets and the pains of your heart in a tight box. I've spoken to no one of our conversations since I came to be in your confidence."

The man sighed and he suddenly looked more ancient then ever, the deep lines under his eyes settled and his bright baby blues came to rest on Minerva's concerned face.

"I had to visit Harry tonight." Was all he said as his eyes slid closed for a moment, he needed to collect himself.

Realization came to the forefront of Minerva's mind and she felt her hand fly to her lips. She understood now, tonight had been the night. The Potter boy would have no memories of Severus. Minerva looked down feeling a tear come to her eye; she ignored it and placed her hand on Albus's.

"I know what you did was not necessarily what you wanted to do. But won't it be better this way? I was under the impression that this would lessen complications that had started to arise." Minerva asked as she tried to make the man meet her eyes.

"It will keep complications from coming to the fore front for now. But the seriousness of my actions, it will haunt me for a long time. I've just changed the course of events that were occurring between two people. I have altered the lives of both Severus and Harry and I can't seem to give myself a reason for why it had to be done."

"Surely you don't think letting the two remain together would have been the better of the two options Albus? In the grand scheme of things, if you want to be able to use Severus as a way to gain information from the dark side…"

"There is that word again. I often take pride in my ability to utilize words so perfectly. But now, that singular word, when in reference to Severus seems so bitter on my tongue. I do not want to USE him, though I wish to have his services. I cannot justify to myself that what I did tonight was the proper course of actions, nor can I convince myself that bringing Severus into this course we are running will at all benefit us in the future. I do not know Minnie, but I feel as if I have just ruined two lives in hopes of protecting everyone else's."

The man raised a hand to his face and sighed, Minerva had nothing she could say. No words of comfort came to mind. All she could do was hold his hand in the flickering light of the fire and hope that when all of this was over, Dumbledore would be able to regain his jolly demeanor and both Severus and Harry could be happy.

**A/N: Before anyone shouts that they want to boycott this story lol, please note that Harry and Severus will eventually end up together as a real family. But this story is not a quick one. There are many chapters planned and certain developments that need to occur. Also, there will be a few changes here or there to the original story line of Harry Potter as you've seen already most likely, like Severus being invited by Dumbledore instead of applying to Hogwarts but overall I am still going to try to keep things as close to J.K. Rowling's story as I can. Thank you for reading! **


	8. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts

**A/N: Okay so this is the beginning of the chapters I have looked the most forward to writing. Harry is finally going to be able to have chapters written from his P.O.V. and this revolves around why they act around each other the way they do. Now I am obviously not going to go through each chapter of each individual book but more I will work around chapters in which Severus and Harry interact and the times they don't that I would have liked to see. I will also be changing some of the interactions and some of the out comes and there will be random adventures that were not in the books or movies. So expect some old stuff and some new stuff! **

**On a similar note I will be using most of the common dialoged from the movies only because it is easier to reference then the books. I don't think digging through each chapter trying to find certain scenes would be as easy as just taking two or three hours to study scenes in the movies. **

**One thing I am willing to do if anyone is interested, if there are certain scenes you want to see that I don't add let me know. If I can work it in I will add them. Other wise I hope you enjoy! **

**One last thing, I had a very hard time writing this chapter, which is why it took so long to post. I couldn't seem to write it the way I wanted to write it. This entire chapter feels forced. I may take it down and redo it at some point but if anything feel unnatural in it's flow or if something doesn't sound right please let me know because this chapter was really difficult for me to do properly. **

**Chapter 8 **

**Harry Potter has Come to Hogwarts**

**Part I**

Severus stared out across the darkening grounds of Hogwarts; his heart was beating to an irregular rhythm as he tried to force himself away from the idea of pacing nervously. This was it; tonight Harry would come to Hogwarts. This was the beginning of the next seven years of his life, hiding in the shadows and trying to ignore the boy and not reach out to him. He had been preparing himself over the last seven years for this one night. The night he would see Harry again, and he felt like he might start throwing things.

He had changed the last seven years and now Severus was truly able to control himself, he was a towering figure of strength and coldness. He was passed the days of his progressively agitating twenties. He was know a true man, ready to defend his students but also ready to ridicule them if they were incompetent. The idea made his stomach turn, what if Harry was incompetent? Would he be able to bring himself to harass the boy into a somewhat intelligent young man? Over the years Severus had run into some rather pathetically dense students, but his cruelty and cold demeanor had often times won out and he had been able to teach every student he had ever had SOMETHING.

But what if Harry turned out to be a dunce… how would Severus deal with him if he couldn't bring fourth his normally cruel and unusual practices? Students usually learned in one of two ways, either they would grow and flourish under teachers who were more patient and willing to give them second chances to get things right, or they would grow to accept the challenge of getting things right the first time.

It came down to one simple fact, Harry would learn better from the patient hand of teachers like McGonagall or he would learn better from the strict cold glares of a teacher like himself. Severus didn't want to think of how the boy would respond to him; all he wanted was for tonight to be over. He wanted to know how this was going to work, how Severus was going to be able to keep himself from running to the boy's side, hugging him tightly and staring into those green eyes that he had missed so immensely the last seven years.

The boy was the closest thing he had to Lily and that made him the closest thing to family he had. He didn't plan to approach the boy, Dumbledore would forbid it, but perhaps if the boy got lost one night and Severus just happened to run into him…

Severus growled in frustration and was about to reach for one of his many phials to throw when he managed to stop himself, no, he wouldn't do this again. He was not a child, not a teenager and not a twenty-something hot head who couldn't control himself. He stopped, took a deep breath and then let his hand fall to his side.

A soft knock came to the door and Severus, though he wasn't in the mood to entertain, gave the words for the person to enter. McGonagall came in and stood in his office giving him a rather sympathetic look.

"Yes Minerva?" Severus asked as he studied the floor, his hair hung down hiding his face but he could still feel her eyes on him.

"I just wanted you to know that the students will arrive with in the hour, all teachers are to report for their final debriefing in twenty minutes in the great hall."

Severus nodded but didn't say anything as he raised his head and let his hair fall into its naturally shaggy state.

"And Severus… we've always sat together during the start of the year feast. I just want you to know… if you need anything… tonight particularly during the feast…" The woman trailed off not wanting to step over the boundaries they both knew were in place.

Minerva was one of the few teachers who knew why he might be on edge tonight. Aside from Dumbledore and Minerva Severus had trusted his many musings over the years to Poppy and eventually the caretaker Argus Filch. He had never told Filch about Harry, but some of his more aggressive mood swings had found Severus walking with the hard, smelly, grouch of a man and to Severus's surprised the old git had been relatively kind and had shown him some great ways of releasing stress. However, the awkwardness of how the man treated his cat made the Argus one of Severus's last resorts. Though, one thing that had really put the man in Severus's good graces was that they favored similar punishments for certain students who enjoyed breaking rules.

"Thank you Minerva." Severus said as he managed out a smirk in her direction. The witch seemed to take the smirk for what it was and gave another one back as she turned and walked out the door.

Severus sighed and thanked his own hands for not throwing that phial of Dreamless Sleep. He would most likely need it later tonight when the feast was over.

OOOO

The great hall was filled with energy as the returning students waited with excitment for the first years to arrive. The boat trip across the lake took a little longer then the carriages did. The hope was that the boat ride would allowed the first years to see Hogwarts for the first time in it's full glory. It was the best way to introduce them to their home away from home. Minerva had left to meet the first years near the Great Hall's entryway and Severus wished that the woman were here now. For some reason her offer for reassurance was in great need at the moment as Severus waited for the large wooden doors to open. Not that it would matter at this point.

Severus had rolled his eyes when he had noticed that Quirrell had foregone his normal seat to sit in Severus's. Apparently Severus would not be in his usual spot next to Minerva after all. He had noticed the last few weeks that man had been rather jumpy, at least more then normal and had started to seek Severus out much to the man's dismay. He would have to deal with his anxiety on his own since Quirrell felt the need to be a barrier between them.

Suddenly Minerva strode through a side entrance and approached the head table, she gave Severus a nod to but whether it was to confirm his fears or be a small attempt at comfort he didn't know. She walked over to Albus, said a few words and the man nodded and gave the gesture for her to proceed.

As Minerva headed back to the door she had come from he saw that she was fighting back a small smile. This did not bode well for him. It was only a few minutes later when the Great Hall's doors swung open and Minerva lead the timid little first years in.

As it was with every year there was a feeling of nervous excitement as the little ones came forward in their sets of twos down the narrow isle of the two center tables. Severus did not look for Harry, not right away. He couldn't bring himself to find the face he had waiting so long to see. In seven years the boy's appearance will have changed greatly, and Severus dreaded the idea that Harry would look dangerously close to his father.

The chatter rose a little as some of the elder students pointed and laughed and joked and made a few rather immature faces. It wasn't a secret that some of the older students enjoyed unsettling the first years their first couple of nights away from home. Severus often found quite a few of his first year Slytherin's crying in the halls of the dungeons because of a nasty trick or horrible prank some of the fourth or fifth years played. He had gotten rather good at soothing their troubles with out really letting his guard down, there hadn't been many students he had found himself attached to. The few that had managed to get into his good graces rarely stayed there.

The group of small children stopped right behind Minerva, "Can you wait along here please?" She said motioning with a roll of parchment held in her right hand. Everyone fell silent and Severus kept his eyes on the back of the old witch's hat.

"Now, before we begin Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words."

Severus saw the tall man stand out of the corner of his eyes but he never stopped looking at the dark pointed hat that sat on Minerva's head. He didn't want to see anything but that damn hat just yet.

"I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce." Dumbledore started and as the man's voice rang into the Great Hall everyone listened intently.

"The first years please note, that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you that, that the third corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to all students who do not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you."

Minerva did not hesitate to proceed as Albus sat down and still Severus stared at her hat, "Now when I call your name, you shall come fourth and I shall place the sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses."

From here on out Severus wasn't listening, it wasn't that he didn't care which students got sorted where, but when it came down to it he was just to anxious to listen. He paid little to no attention until he heard a familiar name, "Malfoy, Draco."

He did look up long enough to see the familiar blonde hair of the Malfoy family. Before the hat was even on the boy's head it called out "Slytherine!" And, with out any surprise at all, Severus found that he had a Malfoy in his house. He had not talked to Lucius in ages, nor did he plan on doing it any time soon. The man had been one of the reasons Severus had traveled down certain paths as a youth and part of him was still resentful, at Lucius for being so seductive with his words and at himself for being so blatantly gullible.

While he had been thinking about the pale haired devil he hadn't realized his eyes were scanning…and that is when it happened. Severus's eyes had landed on the short dark hair of a small boy, glasses adorned his face, and a scar was just barely visible through the short brown hair that covered his forehead.

In that instant eyes met, Severus felt a wave of nostalgia hit him and for a moment he wanted to reach out and move those messy bangs aside. He couldn't look away until he realized that his hand was moving nervously before him and the ever-annoying Quirrell was talking in whispers beside him. The boy's eyes seemed confused a moment as he gave a small lurch of discomfort and reached up to absent-mindedly touch his scar. Was the boy in pain? Severus wondered, as he kept locked with those eyes. A redheaded boy near by murmured something to Harry who slowly shook his head and removed his hand. Severus finally felt the boy's hold release and he looked away as if to talk to the awkwardly positioned man next to him.

"Quirrell, you really must pay attention, having your back to the first year students isn't a good way to set an example." Severus hissed since he had nothing else to say to the man.

Severus tried to keep his eyes anywhere else but the boy and found it not as hard now that he had already seen him. Though he hadn't actually looked him over, he had mostly been focused on those green eyes, Lily's eyes and the scar that the boy had sheepishly rubbed.

However, it would be hard to keep his face turned away when he suddenly heard, "Potter, Harry!" being called out across the room.

Severus saw Dumbledore shift slightly in his set and Severus unwillingly mimicked him. Whispers went out around the room as the familiar name rang out. The silence this time was heavier then before and everyone waited expectantly.

Severus placed both hands on the table in order to keep himself from shaking, he wasn't expecting the boy to be put in his house, no Potter would ever be put into Slytherin, but still part of him dreaded what would happen if the boy was put into his house. How would he be able to keep his professionalism knowing Harry would have been under his supervision? Severus would be tempted to reach out a hand of friendship, he would be tempted to favor the child and that couldn't happen. Not if the boy's future was to be a safe and happy one.

The sorting hat was placed on his head and the silence rang true, the only sound came from the Sorting Hat, which seemed thoroughly confused.

"No no not Ravenclaw, no no that wouldn't do and not Hufflepuff no to strong headed for that but perhaps… let's see… well actually Hufflepuff wouldn't be bad but… oh yes can't forget Slytherin…"

The Sorting Hat had never taken this long to choose a place for a student. Perhaps Harry wasn't meant to be at Hogwarts. That was rubbish; the boy had shown great amounts of power as an infant. The best place for him would be here, were the teachers, Severus included could keep an eye on him and guide him into becoming a great wizard. But then why the delay?

Another minute passed by and people started to murmur, but all they could do was wait. Finally, after what seemed like hours the Sorting Hat stiffened as it often did when it finally made up it's mind.

"BETTER BE… GRYFFINDOR!"

No one was as relieved as Severus, breaths had been held and people had waited with utter horror not knowing what would await the boy that had so often been the topic of conversation the last eleven years. Harry seemed to beam as he jumped from the stool and maneuvered away towards the Gryffindor table, he seemed glad to be rid of the hat but Severus still hadn't been able to size the boy up properly. No matter, if he recalled Harry was in his first year potion class tomorrow, Severus would be able to get a good look at him then.

OOOO

"The Dark Forest Severus." Came a stuttering voice from beside him.

Severus was pulled from his thoughts to look over at Quirrell who was putting a piece of cut up chicken in his mouth.

"Pardon?" Severus asked as he gave the man his full attention.

"In the D-dark F-forest… there are strange t-things a f-foot… I swear I saw a bit of Unicorn blood near the edge when I was t-taking my a-afternoon walk."

There was a hint of implication in his voice, "Are you suggesting that someone is slaying Unicorns in the Dark Forest?" Severus asked softly as he set down his fork and knife.

"I d-don't… I am not saying a-anything. Perhaps we c-could…"

"I think this sounds like something more suited to Hagrid… I will speak to him about it."

"NO!" Quirrell said urgently.

Severus stared at him a moment, "I d-don't want to, uh, arouse fear a-among the staff… I thought if you and I… w-we could go alone and c-check before we told the other m-members of the s-staff. If I am w-wrong…" Quirrell kept rambling on as Severus turned to look out at the students, he felt a pair of eyes on him but he couldn't locate…

Harry was staring at him from across the room, the boy quickly looked away and started to eat his food rather quickly. Severus stared at the boy a little longer before he too went back to his food.

OOOO

No one had been happier then Harry when the Sorting Hat had called out to place him in Gryffindor. He was with Ron, he thought perhaps the red-head and himself could be friends if Harry was smart and played his cards right. He had never had a real friend before, which had been thanks to the Dursleys. They had never really let him play with other children or with Dudley for that matter. Not that Harry would ever want to play with the pudgy boy.

Dudley was mean and often during the long hours of Harry hunting the small brunette would beg mentally for a real friend who wouldn't chase him just so they could beat him up. Dudley rarely every caught Harry but some of Dudley's new friends were pretty fast.

Ron seemed really nice though; he would definitely like to be friends with him. That Hermione girl, however, seemed a little up tight. But Harry wasn't going to be picky; he would take any friends he could get.

Once again his eyes slowly slid up to the head table and they settled on the man in black, Percy had said his name was Snape. Professor Snape, the Potions Master. Something about the man set Harry on edge, he wasn't sure if it was in a good way or bad but Harry couldn't stop looking at him. For some reason he looked familiar, but not in the normal way. Harry was absolutely sure he had never met the man before, but something about the man's hair… the way he held himself… and that smirk. Perhaps Harry had seen someone who looked similar to him when he was young, maybe it had been a dream and the man just happened to look like some made up dream person Harry had thought up.

The man's cold eyes locked with his and Harry looked down and started to eat quickly, he didn't want to get into trouble for staring. He doubted that the teachers at Hogwarts punished children by locking them in broom closets but why take the chance? After all, Harry knew very little about the magical world and he didn't want to upset anyone on the off chance that they would suspend him and send him home. Harry still wasn't sure this wasn't one of his fantastical dreams, but he couldn't bare the idea of waking up back in his cupboard.

After an hour of marry making and some of the most delicious deserts Harry had ever had the feast vanish, Dumbledore said some final words and then suddenly they were getting up to be showed to their dorms. Harry had never had to sleep with other people in the same room so he wondered if it would be like Dudley's sleep over's where Dudley and his friends got to stay up all night eating junk food and laughing and telling jokes. He hoped he would be able to make friends; Harry wanted it so bad he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Sparing one last glance at the head table where the dark man was standing and giving Professor Quirrell an evil glare, he decided to forget what ever it was he was feeling and start to focus on the fact that he was officially free of the Dursleys.

OOOO

That night Harry had a really hard time sleeping; he had spent some time with the boy's in his dorm and had gotten to know them. He already liked them all and had never felt so welcomed in his life. They all kept asking him odd questions though. One's he hadn't been able to answer, the most common was about his scar. The other questions had seemed a little random, "Do you remember what he looked like? What was it like to see him?"

Harry had been able to tell they were disappointed when he couldn't answer any of the questions. Ron swooped in though and told the other's to back off and go to bed. Harry had been grateful and had thanked him as the other boys had reluctantly departed to their separate beds.

It came down to one single fact, Harry was a wizard, he was at a school of witchcraft and wizardry and the Dursleys were out of the picture for the next 10 months. From the beginning of September to June he didn't have to be any where near them or their son.

A small smile crept onto his face, no more cupboard, no more chores, no more pointless tasks or being told to bring the coffee and eggs, no more Harry Hunts and absolutely no more doing anything he didn't want to do!

Harry didn't want to go to bed, he was to scared that if he went to bed he would wake up back in his little cupboard and he would have to get up at six every morning and he would have to face a life of total misery.

Hedwig, who had been resting on the floor by his feet, perked up a little and reached out to nibble at his hand. Harry gladly went to stroke her feathers, "You're the first pet I've ever had." At the word pet the birds head spun to look at him and she gave a slight screech in protest, "Sorry Hedwig, you are the first _friend_ I have ever had." He said giving her a warm smile to signify his apology. The snowy owl settled down and continued to enjoy the strokes from Harry's fingers.

OOOO

Severus sighed as he rolled to lie on his back, he couldn't seem to allow sleep to take him. After the events of the night, seeing Harry for the first time with out actually looking the boy over, and then Quirrell blithering on about the Dark Forest acting strangely, and then the conversation with Dumbledore after the feast… why couldn't people just leave him to his own devises.

Severus robbed his face harshly with his hands as he recalled how Dumbledore had unsuccessfully tried to get the man to talk to him about his feelings.

"I am just curious how you faired at the feast tonight my dear boy."

"I don't want to talk about it. I was expecting you to want to talk to me tonight but I wasn't expecting this exceedingly sickening display of emotional babble. I am fine and that is that and you won't get anymore from me." Severus had said thumping down into a chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

Dumbledore chuckled a little at the rather childish display but Severus only rolled his eyes, "I just want to be left alone about the matter. The boy is here, he seems healthy and it already appears that he has made a friend or two on the train ride over. There is no need for me to want to go and see him. I can control myself you know, I am not a compulsive child."

"I never said you were my friend. I just wanted to check in. As it is I believe you. But should things change and you need someone to come to I am here."

Severus shrugged and stood nodding as he strolled from the man's office with eagerness to escape.

Poor Poppy had listened to him complain for a good two hours before the flock of homesick first years started to wonder in. He had bid her good-bye and started his nightly search of the dungeons for stray first years that might have already been the victim of the upper classmen. To Severus's happy surprise the Dungeon corridors were empty and so he had retired.

Now he was laying here with pent up energy and no chance to expel it. There was perhaps one thing he could do that might relax him. He got up and sat on the edge of his bed, "Grummet!" He called out as he rubbed the dark circles under his eyes.

A rather stocky house-elf appeared and bowed as he waited for instructions, "Draw me a bath and see if you can find a spare bottle of Somerset Cider Brandy, if you can't then fire-whisky will do." The elf gave another bow and popped out of sight. Severus rubbed his eyes, he rarely indulged in muggle brandy but on occasion he found he didn't want anything from the kitchen's here. His father had liked cider brandy and that had been one of the few things that Severus had tried and liked when he had been younger.

Part of him hated the fact that he still had so many fresh memories of his father and his childhood but another part of him didn't want to forget where he had come from. Severus had struggled so hard to rise above his upbringing that he never wanted to forget that he wasn't as good as he acted. Being humble was a very good trait in his opinion, one that not many people had anymore.

Getting up and walking out of his room to his study he pulled a random book off the shelf not bothering to look at it and headed for his bathroom. The large bath was set into the floor and was perfectly big enough for his long legs and torso, the only thing that ever seemed to be missing was company.

Severus hadn't been with a woman in a long time, he hadn't really had any desire to try and win any woman in particular over. But sometimes he got lonely and when that happened not even his many pictures of Lily would keep him from suffering at the hands of his burdened heart.

Taking a deep breath and then breathing out to remove all the pent up tension in his stomach he started to remove his night attire, which really only consisted of a pair of dark green pants that hung loosely around his waist.

He folded his pants and then sunk down into the remarkably hot water. His muscles relaxed almost immediately as the vapors from the scented oils that the elf had added met his noise. Grummet drew the best baths and Severus rarely called any other elf when he wanted one. He didn't take baths often either, it was a rare and special treat he reserved for stressful and sleepless nights.

The elf chose that moments to appear and to Severus's surprise the elf held a bottle of Somerset Cider Brandy in his hand.

"Does Master Severus wish me to pour him a glass?"

"Yes, thank you Grummet." Severus said glad to see the elf had started to pour with out reacting to the comment of appreciation. Grummet was a relatively new elf, and for the first few years he had been overly emotional whenever Severus had thanked him for things. Though Severus was not above being polite it was a requirement for teachers to show the basics of decency to the house elves that worked in the castle.

Helga Hufflepuff, one of the original creatures of Hogwarts, had ensured that any teacher to work at this school were under oath as soon as they signed a contract to work at Hogwarts that they would treat the house elves here with a kind hand. Hogwarts was a safe house for them since the rest of the wizarding world seemed to enjoy abusing the creatures. Each time a new house elf would come to join the cooking staff it took a few years for them to understand what type of place Hogwarts would be for them.

Now that Grummet had finally realized it was safe to accept the compliment with out having to punish himself or any other ridiculous little thing he often just bowed and gave a small smile and popped out once his tasks were complete.

A heavy sigh escaped Severus as he let the hot water and oils soak into his skin, he sipped on his brandy and then finally, using a near by hand towel, dried his hands and reached for his book.

He rolled his neck a little to loosen some of his tighter muscles and opened to the first page.

_Hey Sev! _

He slammed the book shut and quickly turned it over to look at the cover, _The Extended Works of the Brothers Grimm. _

"Shit." Severus muttered as he pressed the book to his forehead, of course he wouldn't pay attention. Of course he would grab a book that had been given to him by her.

He cracked the book open and the first page appeared with the beautiful blue ink from a very fancy quill.

_Hey Sev! _

_ You wanted to know what some of my most favorite fairytales were so I grabbed you this at the bookstore in London. Merry Christmas and have a great winter break! By the way, these are a little darker then what you might expect coming from me, but I know you will be able to understand that it is the writing style that I truly enjoy more then anything else! _

_XOXO, _

_Lily_

Severus smacked the book shut again and set it next to him. He couldn't do that right now, he was not in the mood to take a stroll down memory lane. There was just too much pushing down on his shoulders. With out thinking about it Severus let his head slip under the water and he wished that somehow he could just stay here with out drowning.

OOOO

It was finally time for his first year potions class and Severus couldn't bring himself to open the door to his classroom. He could hear them all through the door as they were laughing and talking and whispering about the classroom. He had to be strong; he had to treat Harry… no… Mr. Potter just like every other student in this school. He took a deep breath and shoved the door open a little harder then expected and as it slammed against the back wall he kept his face blank and did not react. All the students jumped and turned to watch him enter.

Better now then never, "There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class." Severus came to stand at the front of the classroom and turned folding his hands in front of him. He scanned the room quickly to appreciate the looks of terror and fear that stared up at him.

"As such I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion making, however, for those select few…" His eyes froze on the Malfoy boy who smiled at him for a moment, perhaps he had better get to know Draco. Knowing the boy could come in handy if Dumbledore wanted any information out of Lucius in the future, Severus continued, "…who poses the predisposition, I can teach u to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses, I can tell u how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper in death."

A movement caught Severus's eye and he glanced to see Mr. Potter writing something in his parchment book. This was his moment, Albus wanted them to be enemies, so Severus would make sure that the boy hated him, completely, "Then again maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel comfortable enough to _not pay attention_."

The Granger girl elbowed the boy quickly and he looked up. Finally, Severus got to see the boy's entire face. He allowed himself to side step those bright green eyes and he stared at the boy's overall appearance. James Potter stared back at him, he looked every bit like his father and for a brief moment hatred trickled through his barrier. Instead of fighting it Severus allowed himself to imbibe a small amount and felt something change in him, "Mr. potter, our new celebrity. Tell me what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" The boy shook his head as he stared up at Severus helplessly, "You don't know? Well let's try again where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a Bezoar."

The boy shook his head again but this time answered, "I don't know sir."

The brat even sounded like his bloody father, "And what is the difference between monkshood and wolf's bane?"

"I don't know sir."

Pehaps it wouldn't be so hard to separate himself from the boy after all, he smirked a little as he added at the end, "Pity, clearly fame isn't everything is it Mr. Potter."

He thought that was it, the boy would surely avoid him now and neither Albus or Severus would have to worry about any future conversations. Severus was going to continue on but suddenly Harry butted in with a rather snide remark.

"Clearly Hermoinie knows, it seems a pity not to ask her.

Severus turned to look back at the boy and felt his temper raise, he not only looked like James and sounded like him but his attitude was just as bad. As the students murmured and whispered Severus felt a familiar feeling rise up in his chest.

"Silence! Put your hand down you silly girl!" Severus crossed the room and pulled a stool to sit down in front of Harry, their eyes locked and the battle of wills had begun.

"For your information Mr. Potter, Asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is know as the draft of the living dead. A Bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for Monkshood and wolf's bane they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of Aconite." Harry looked down then and Severus knew for now the winner was him, perhaps James Potter's son wasn't as bold as his father after all. Severus glanced around the class and snapped, "Well, why aren't you all copying this down?" Severus stood leaving the boy to his own devices and strode up to his desk; the final blow was about to be struck. "And Gryffindors, note that five points will be taken from your house… for your class mate's cheek." When Severus finished he looked at Harry who met his eyes and glared. His heart sank a little, Harry was a walking contradiction.

The glare that met his eyes was Lily's through and through but the frown on his lips and the blush on his cheeks was his fathers. Severus sat down at his desk to make note of the point loss and realized this was going to be a long seven years.

OOOO

Harry didn't know what to do with himself now, he had just been humiliated in front of the entire class, Malfoy and his crones included by a Professor whom Harry didn't even know! But something about the man, Harry just couldn't put a finger on it; he had a really bad feeling about him. Something didn't seem right, but his best bet would be to avoid the man. He didn't want to lose any more points.

For the rest of the class he kept his eyes down and just listened, Professor Snape covered some very basic forms of potion making, some of the more common potions used in everyday households verse the more common potions used by Medi-witch's in the hospitals and the safest way to label and store potions once they were brewed, which depended on shelf life and stability.

The class seemed to last forever but eventually Professor Snape assigned that weeks homework and sent them off. Harry was almost out the door when he heard the Professor call him. He stopped and looked to Ron who gave him a rather worried look. Harry just sighed and turned around heading back into the classroom. He didn't go back to his seat but instead stood by the desk closest to the front. He didn't want to cause more trouble for himself so he just tried to focus on disappearing.

"Mr. Potter, how was your summer?" the man asked as the last student walked out the door. Harry looked up and met the dark eyes of his Potions Professor and didn't know how to reply, "Excuse me sir?" Harry asked with true confusion.

"How. Was. Your. Summer?" the question sounded forced but Harry really didn't want to upset his professor anymore then he already had and quickly said, "Fine." He wasn't sure what the man was looking for as a reply so he didn't add anything else as he dropped his eyes back down to the floor.

"You are still with your aunt and uncle I presume?" Once again Harry was taken a back.

"Excuse me professor, but how do you know where I have been…"

"Professor Dumbledore has told me many things Mr. Potter, I was simply asking if you enjoyed your summer with your aunt and uncle. Perhaps the next best thing would be a reply."

"It was fine. Everything was fine." Harry said uncertainly. This man and his sarcastic tone were starting to annoy Harry in all actuality.

The man stared at him for several seconds, his gaze glancing all over from Harry's hair to his eyes and nose to his lips and ears and his height. Harry was starting to feel very uncomfortable and he shuffled lightly and fisted the ends of his uniform sleeves.

Professor Snape seemed to notice and his brow furrowed as he studied the action almost intently.

After another moment he sighed, "Get out of here Mr. Potter, and if you know what is good for you, you will watch that sass of yours in the future when attending my class, otherwise you will be serving detention with me… do you understand?"

Harry quickly nodded, picked up his bag and ran for the door not bothering to look back at the man who watched him go.

OOOO

Severus eyed the boy up and down, every inch of him. It would probably take a few months to determine if the boy was more like his father or more like his mother but as it rested now the line was thin. The way the boy had snapped at him in class had been so reminiscent of James that Severus had easily lost his temper with out even considering the implications of his actions, and then Potter almost seemed down right pathetic as he had sat there in class and waited for it to be over.

Harry shifted uncomfortably under the man's gaze and Severus could tell he wasn't going to get any information out of the boy like this. A motion caught his eye however as Harry nervously fisted his uniform sleeves and Severus furrowed his brow in confusion. That wasn't a trait of Lily or James, that was something more prone to himself, though Severus could never recall if he had fisted his cloak in front of the boy or not.

Severus dismissed the boy with a warning and Harry gladly departed. Severus started to ready for his next class but he kept thinking about the boy, had he really picked up a trait from Severus? Was the man just hopefully imagining something that couldn't be or had a small bit of him rubbed off on the boy and lay in his subconscious?

He tried to send away these thoughts over and over but something was nagging at the back of his head. It was like there was something he should have noticed about Harry but nothing aside from the fisting of his school robes really stood out. He looked horribly similar to his father with his mother's eyes sitting behind glasses that seemed a size to small. His attitude was still in question but…

"Severus…" the dark haired man looked up to the door to see Albus standing there with a smirk on his face.

"Oh good." Severus said as his eyes narrowed and the sarcasm rang out clear enough to slice the thick silence between them

"Do not worry my boy, I am not here for what you think. I was hoping I could talk to you about the object that Hogwarts has most recently acquired."

Severus felt his eyebrow go up and he suddenly realized what this was about, "It would be an honor." The man said allowing a smirk to play across his face.

**A/N: There it is. I promise the next chapter should be better. My thoughts on this chapter is perhaps I was just not prepared with the dynamic I wanted the two to have but it is only there first meeting. I am hoping later on I will have a more realistic dynamic between them. Thanks for reading. **


	9. Severus the Broom and the Gryffindor

**First off, I want to thank DelightfulSins who has amazingly offered to edit this story for me, so from here on out, the stories should read a lot more smoothly. I'd also like to thank everyone for continued support and reading. Thank you for taking the time to review and I hope you enjoy this chapter because it's going to be a long one. **

**Chapter 9**

**The Professor the Broom and the Gryffindor **

A few weeks had passed by and the school year seemed to be progressing without any incidents– with the exception of a few students who had either accidentally blown something up or randomly vanished without a trace. The vanished students were later found, floating aimlessly around the school claiming that Peeves had been pushing them hither and thither. No other accidents had occurred and everyone seemed to be working diligently to keep on top of their studies.

Harry had been enjoying himself immensely because Ron had become a great new friend and Harry had been working hard to make sure he would make good grades. Recently, he had come to the realization that, perhaps he wasn't as worthless as his aunt and uncle had always told him he was. He had a place at this school and a goal to aim for—he wanted to be the best wizard he could be, and having something to shoot for had given him a certain amount of self-worth that he found gratifying.

His friend Ron was funny and clever and they often spent their afternoon lunch period on the lawns stuffing their faces with sweets and enjoying the remaining good weather. Occasionally, Hermione would wander out to find them and would stay to talk for a little bit before dashing off to do some form of homework or studying. Harry couldn't tell how Ron felt about the girl, but more often than not, Harry watched Ron roll his eyes as the chaotic haired girl approached.

A few days ago, Harry had almost had a heart attack when McGonagall had caught him riding his broom while Madame Hooch had seen Neville to the infirmary. It wasn't his fault that Draco had been such a bully about Neville's remembrall, but there was no point in trying to talk his way out of the punishment sure to come. To Harry's immense relief, she did not punish him at all, but had instead secured him a position on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Harry had never played Quidditch before but the team's seeker and captain, Oliver Wood, had taken a few hours to explain the rules and objectives to him. It sounded brilliant and Harry couldn't wait to give it a go.

Harry was now walking to potions with Ron and Seamus, and he felt a small spring in his step as the other two boys kept talking about the first Quidditch game that was coming up in the next few months. Though Harry was excited and nervous, something else was dominating his thoughts. The day that Harry had become the Gryffindor seeker was the night Harry, Ron and Hermione had discovered a three-headed dog in the forbidden corridor, and while it seemed Ron had put it out of his mind for now, Harry had not. His curiosity had always gotten him into trouble, but something was eating at him. He couldn't seem to figure out why a three-headed dog would be in the tower or what the enormous canine could be guarding. .

"-and your first practice is Friday!" Harry was pulled from his thoughts and turned to look at Ron who was smiling brightly.

"What?" Harry asked half-heartedly.

"Your first practice for Quidditch is on Friday." Ron repeated, seemingly surprise that Harry hadn't been listening.

"Oh, yeah I forgot."

"Blimey. I don't know how you do it mate. I'd be terrified!" Ron said as they descended to the dungeons.

"I'd be petrified!" Seamus added as he pushed open the door to the potions classroom.

"It sucks you have to ride one of those mangy old brooms though. If you had a Nimbus 2000 you'd be flying circles around the other seekers." Ron said as he sat down next to Harry at one of the tables.

"I saw one of those in Diagon Alley. It looked really fast."

"Fastest broom yet. Not like the school brooms, all jerky and having a mind of their own." Ron said as he shrugged off his bag and pulled out his potions book.

"I don't mind having to use a school broom as long as I get to play. Flying is the easiest thing I've learned since I've been here." Harry looked up to see that Professor Snape was eyeing them. As Ron started to say something else, Harry elbowed him and the redhead met the dark eyes of the Potions Master, and quickly fell silent.

" Quiet please." Professor Snape said as he looked out over the class. His eyes lingered on Harry and the boy shifted uncomfortably. When the Professor finally moved on he spoke quickly and with authority.

"Open your potions texts to page two-hundred and thirty-three. Your task today is to recreate this introductory level potion. The required ingredients are in the cabinets. You have the entire class period. If you have any questions I will be at my desk. The students who brew the most successful potion will gain ten points for their house." The man sat down and Harry was glad for it. Professor Snape often times hovered around students and watched them work. It made Harry nervous.

OOOO

Severus sat down at his desk and waited for the students to get to collect their ingredients and then settle in for the duration of the class. It was a simple practice potion, not even Mr. Finnegan could make this potion explode. The point of today's lesson was more for reading and understanding the instructions. He had noticed that this was the area that most students suffered in their first year. They didn't follow the instructions close enough and often time's skipped steps altogether.

Not that Severus would ever rely on any given potions text himself, but he knew better than most. He could catch the mistakes that other Potions Masters made, whereas most students weren't actually interested in Potions as a career and therefore didn't need to develop Severus's level of attention to detail.

He was currently looking over some of his upper class's parchments on how to successfully brew Polyjuice Potion when a thought occurred to him. He stood stiffly and when the first year students looked up, he motioned for them to pay attention to their own affairs. It was not in his character to leave students alone while they brewed because it was dangerous and he needed to be ready to spring to his feet should he need to assist in containing a potential situation. However, this particular potion was very hard to upset, and he would only be gone a minute.

Severus stepped into his office and shut the door. He crossed to his personal desk and quickly scribbled a short note.

"Grummet!" He called and the stocky little elf appeared.

"Master Severus?" The elf's voice rose slightly in question; usually Grummet was only called upon by Severus to draw a bath.

"Hello Grummet. No bath today. I have an errand for you to run if you aren't too busy."

"But of course Master Severus, anything for you."

"I need you to go to Diagon Alley and deliver this message to the head clerk at Quality Quidditch Supplies. Tell him I'd like a rush on the order and to place the charge on my personal account. Give him any other information he needs." The elf bowed, took the note and then disappeared.

OOOO

By the end of class, Ms. Granger had managed to make the most successful potion and it was with great reluctance that Severus awarded Gryffindor house ten points. Once everything was cleaned and put away he dismissed his class after assigning homework due for the next class. The students' left and Severus followed taking a different route as he wasn't heading for the main hall.

Several twists, turns, and three flights of stairs later, Severus strode into Minerva's office and the woman looked up at him with a smile, "Severus, having a good day?" she asked as she looked at the house elf who stood next to her.

Grummet held a wrapped object in his hands and looked between the two waiting for orders.

"Thank you Grummet. Please place the item on the desk and you may go." The house elf did as he was bid and left with a pop.

"What is this Severus? I haven't flown in a long time. And my birthday isn't for a while yet."

The man gave her an annoyed look and then sighed, "You placed Potter on the Gryffindor Quidditch team." Severus said as if this would explain everything.

The woman merely smiled and waited. Severus ran his hands though his hair and then grunted, "It's a gift for the boy. He can't be a seeker without a proper broom; I won't let him use the school brooms, as they are too finicky. I am his guardian after all and only a proper broom will do."

"I suppose I agree. But why bring it to me?"

"You know bloody well why. Dumbledore doesn't want me to seem close to the boy. And as you are his Head of House, and I am Head of Slytherin, it would be strange, to say the least, if I were seen giving the boy a new broom. I am requesting that you deliver it to him."

The old woman gave a knowing smile and finally said with a sigh, "I suppose I could have the boy's owl deliver it to him with the morning mail."

"However you wish to deliver it is beyond my concern. I would suggest you have it delivered before his first practice so that he could have some time to get used to the broom's speed and maneuverability."

"That can be arranged." Minerva said with another knowing smile.

Severus stared at her a moment before he groaned, "Damn you woman!" and strode from the room without another word.

OOOO

When Harry saw Hedwig and several other owls bringing him a parcel during breakfast he couldn't believe his eyes. He had never gotten any mail, not once from anyone. The only letter he had ever gotten in his life had been his acceptance to Hogwarts. Hedwig and the small group of owls skillfully deposited the large, thin package in front of Harry.

Harry and Ron stared at it in silence before the suspense was too great and Harry was finally told to open it. Harry's eyes lit up as he unwrapped the brown paper and he realized what it was.

"Blimey Harry! That's a Nimbus 2000!" Dean Thomas exclaimed, as all the students at the table moved closer. Harry couldn't believe it, he just stared, emerald eyes widened in shock.

"Who do you think gave it to you Harry?" Ron asked as he reached to touch the smooth handle. Hermione slapped Ron's hand away and he eyed her with a glare.

Harry looked around for a letter or note, and when he couldn't find one, he searched for Hedwig. His eyes found the snowy owl at the head table, perched next to Professor McGonagall, who was patting Hedwig with gentle fingers. Professor McGonagall's eyes met Harry's and she gave him a smile. Harry nodded in thanks trying to be at subtle as possible. Obviously if she had not delivered the Nimbus directly to him, she hadn't wanted others to know who the broom came from. She nodded back and then turned to talk to Professor Snape who was giving Harry a rather intense glare.

Harry wouldn't let Snape bother him today; he had a new broom and friends and was soon to be the youngest seeker in a century. Nothing could get him down today.

OOOO

Severus watched at the boy's eyes widened in shock, then glowed in exhilaration. Severus drank in every second of it. Harry looked extremely happy and Severus was relieved to see that the boy didn't start to show boat. All the boys at the table swarmed but Harry just stared; no doubt it was the nicest gift he had ever received. Severus had to keep the smirk from his face, a very hard thing to accomplish, considering how satisfied Severus was with the boy's reaction.

"I'd say that went well. That was a very kind gesture Severus."

The man resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "I am doing my duty as his guardian and nothing more."

"Of course Severus." Minerva said and Severus realized that he found her was horribly frustrating at times.

"Dumbledore has asked me to watch Potter's first practice to see how he fares, would you please inform Poppy that I will meet with her at a later time should she come looking for me?"

"Gladly." McGonagall said in a way that implied she knew the truth.

"Blasted woman." Severus muttered as he stood and tossed his napkin on the table.

OOOO

Harry was on the pitch a half hour early- his excitement and nerves had not allowed him to wait any longer. He sat there, pulling at grass and eyeing his new broom with an acquisitive look about his face. He was so eager to try out his new broom that he couldn't wait for practice to start.

Making the decision to fly wasn't hard at all; it wasn't like he was going to get into trouble. Looking around nervously, Harry slid a leg over his broom and with barely contained excitement, tightened his hands around the handle and with only a moment to prepare himself, shot from the ground and zoomed up into the air. He didn't press it that hard at first, content with making a few loops and lazy circles before he tried anything riskier.

After Harry felt comfortable enough to try for some height, he smoothly pulled his broom back and started to ascend. There was nothing in his way and Harry felt free. Up here on his broom, Harry was unbound. He was his own person and wasn't controlled by rules, regulations or starvation. His broom filled Harry with so much wonder that he realized this was going to become his favorite pastime very quickly. His soul was at peace, his mind was focused and calm and he had never felt so completely liberated in his entire life.

OOOO

Severus watched as Harry sped after the golden snitch. He wasn't in the bleachers with some of the other students who had come to watch, instead,, Severus was standing in the shadowy entrance of the Slytherin locker-room which was on the far side of the pitch. It would be…problematic if someone were to discover him here.

It was interesting to watch the boy race around in circles trying to catch the little winged ball. The boy was a natural flyer. Much better then his father had ever been, and this was only Potter's first year.

Severus's eyes trailed after the boy and eventually Wood showed Harry some mercy and let him take a moment to rest. Thoughts crawled into Severus's brain as he watched Harry float in the air and gaze at his teammates. It was like a voice was whispering in his ear, _Go to him… talk to him… remind him of how important he is to you…how important you were to him…show him how much you care- _

"Enough." Severus said to himself as he struggled to clear his mind of all thoughts. He wasn't going to let his personal, inner dilemmas get in the way of the bigger picture. In the end, it wasn't _just_ Harry's life that Severus had to take into consideration. There would no doubt be a lot of people who would come to depend on Harry in the future, should the Dark Lord indeed return. Severus couldn't afford to let his own desires control him like he was some blustering baboon.

And yet, the moments of Harry before practice, when he had rode his broom about like a wild child. Severus had found his protective instincts roaring to life. Potter had been spinning, weaving, turning, and diving towards the ground only to sharply pull his broom up, up, and up into the clouds, then falling back to Earth in a tumbling assortment of Quidditch robes and limbs. It was dangerous how reckless Harry was being as it takes a few moments for a broomstick to register what the rider requires of it. Riding up and pulling your broom out in an attempt to free-fall was not only stupid, but also suicidal.

Severus had almost stormed across the pitch to scream and rant at him, to drag him to McGonagall and explain that the boy just wasn't ready to play, he wasn't mature enough, he had to wait till next year…

But the look on the boy's face spoke volumes and Severus stopped himself because he knew that look well. That was an expression of freedom — Harry found his through flying where Severus found _his_ through hours of potions making. The freedom to live and experience and do as he wanted without others breathing down his neck or yelling at him to do what they wanted.

Whenever Severus successfully brewed a potion, especially if it was one of his own designs, he felt like no one could touch him, hurt him, or give him any grief. He was alone in his potions lab and it was his choice whether he shared his newfound glory with someone or not. It was his choice to share his potion and it was his choice to even come out of the room in the first place. No one could bother him or demand anything of him.

So, Severus had let the boy enjoy his moment of peace, and as much as the Potter looked like his horrible father, part of him knew he could never truly hate the young boy, because in this one way, Harry was more like Severus then anyone else.

OOOO

The night the troll had come into the dungeons had been one of the most exciting moments of Harry's young life. They had all been in the Great Hall for the yearly Halloween celebrations when Professor Quirrell had ran in so pale and trembling. Harry was not the type to go looking for trouble, but it was like someone had it out for him. His only reason from straying from his fellow Gryffindors, pulling a bewildered Ron with him, was to get Hermione out of harm's way. He felt like he had to, the girl had been so upset when Ron had made fun of her that she had ran off to the girl's bathroom. She had been in there the rest of the night crying and had not known a troll had gotten into the school.

All the teachers had run off to help find and get rid of the large beast before it hurt a student or staff member. There had been general chaos and screaming when the news of the troll in the school had been announced. Later most of the kids would joke about how Professor Quirrell had screamed louder then most of the girls.

Instead, the troll had lumbered down the hall and into the girl's bathroom right into the screams of Hermione. The girl had done her best to try and get away but with out much luck, which had left Harry with few options. So he had ran forward without registering what he was doing, and grabbed onto the knotted wooden club of the large fowl smelling beast. Somehow he ended up on the troll's shoulders and he was thrashed about like a rag doll. Soon enough the troll managed to shake him loose after several moments of jumping and thrashing and suddenly, the troll had Harry hanging upside down, his leg clamped painfully in the troll's huge knurled hand.

The world had swung around in a blurred mess as the troll had held Harry upside down. He was not scared so much as trying to keep his dinner down. There was not point in trying to free himself as his wand was currently hanging out of the nose of the brute above him and he could not get the beast's huge hand to release his leg. He heard Ron ask what he should do and heard Hermione called out, "SWISH AND FLICK!" but otherwise Harry was trying to focus on not getting wacked.

The troll took another clumsy swing at Harry's dangling form, but at that moment, in a stroke of brilliance, Ron used _Wingardium Leviosa_ on the troll's club… And Ron was brilliant because he pulled it off. The club had landed with a resounding thump on the troll's pin needle head and the beast had fallen to the ground nearly smashing Harry under him.

The three of them were standing, dirty and shaking next to the unconscious troll when the professors had rushed in. Professor McGonagall, Professor Quirrell and of course it would be him, Professor Snape as black as the raven he resembled, except…

Harry had looked at the man and noticed a spot on his leg were the skin had been exposed; Snape had a rather large gash in his leg. Harry had been caught staring and ducked his head, turning his attention quickly back to McGonagall who was listening to Hermione take the blame. The teachers appeared flustered and in shock at the appearance of Harry, his friends and the unconscious troll.

Harry had glanced at Ron who looked just as shocked as Harry felt; they had never expected Hermione to lie, for anything or anyone, especially not them. She had always seemed so uptight and rather honest. She had never hesitated to tell any of her fellow classmates how wrong they were about something, or why their answer was incorrect or how to do something the right way.

After it was all over Harry, Ron and Hermione had been heading to their rooms, talking about what had just happened, when a shadow to their left had caught their eyes. They were just a few meters away from the portrait when the shadow, with the voice of Professor Snape, called out to them. He dismissed the other two after asking a few questions and then took Harry by the back of his robes lifting him up onto his tippy toes. Harry had grunted in annoyance and tried to pull lose but the man's grip was like iron.

What ever it was that Professor Snape wanted to say was apparently VERY important.

**A/N: Okay, so this is where the 1****st**** half of this chapter ends, now that I have DelightfulSins editing for me, I will be breaking my usually 15 to 20 page chapters in half that way DelightfulSins will have time to edit but also live a normal life ;-) The second half of this chapter will be marked as chapter 10 even though it is a continuation of this chapter. So thanks again to DelightfulSins who had edited this so expertly for me and I hope you guys enjoyed it! **


	10. Harry Harry Quite Contrary

**I want to thank Delightful Sins who has edited this chapter for me in a most beautiful way and who had somehow managed to do this while also preparing for finals. I big good luck to you DS. Enjoy! **

**Chapter 10 **

**Harry Harry Quite Contrary**

OOOO

_NO, NO, NO! _Severus mentally cursed as he tore out of the Great Hall. Severus's thoughts had immediately turned to Professor Quirrell and the odd behavior Severus had noticed the man displaying. Since the first week of the term, Severus had noticed that Quirrell was behaving strangely. And magical world aside that a troll would end up inside of Hogwarts seemed too random, too strange—especially with the conspicuous lack of Quirrell at dinner tonight.

Severus hadn't really begun to harbor any suspicions about the man until a few days ago, when Quirrell had held yet another conversation with Severus about the Dark Forest and the Sorcerer's stone. Quirrell had informed Severus that he intended to go into the forest on his own if Severus would not go with him. Quirrell also wanted Severus to talk to him about the traps that the teachers had set up. It was not a very common topic considering the secrecy of the subject matter and the fact that Quirrell was so curious made Severus question his loyalty all the more.

Quirrell was one of those people who never really changed unless something substantially large happened in their life. Quirrell had been a normal enough man until he had gone out to adventure and see the world. He had come back a man scared of his own shadow. So routine was expected and relied on and the man had been breaking his routine since the start of term. He was usually on time to every meal but in the last few months he had been late, he hadn't been as well groomed and his normal stutter of only one or two words had gotten far worse as the weeks passed.

Severus burst out of the Great Hall, the doors whooshing open to let him out. He looked more palepaler than his usual skin tone, frustrated, and utterly terrified, as he had screamed to the Headmaster about the dangerous, uninvited guest in the dungeon. Severus had taken a glance at Harry, once Dumbledore had instructed the rather terrified student body how to handle the situation, and saw that the young Gryffindor was heading out with the other students then Severus allowed eyes to shift back and fourth over the table in front of him as he had decided what to do. Should he go after the troll with the other teachers or should he try to catch Quirrell in the act of sabotage? The students were mostly out of the Great Hall and Severus noticed the teachers gathering to leave as a group.

Dumbledore wanted all the teachers to go to the dungeons, but Severus's gut told him he needed to be somewhere else, and he heeded the feeling, launching himself forward at a dead sprint. Severus rushed through the halls and turned down corridors, running down some stairs and flying up others. It appeared that the magic of the castle that allowed it to move the staircases was moving doubly fast. Severus found himself completely turned around too many times to count, as doors and stairs were shifting like mad—it was as if someone had place an acceleration spell on the staircases to make them shift at a faster pace and go haywire.

It had taken an extra twenty minutes, but Severus had finally reached the third floor corridor. He kicked the door open and turned down into the narrow, dark hallway. The torches, which were near the far side of the hall, were burning low, but flared brightly as he entered; the yellow flames crackled as he stood near them. Severus had made it in time to see the shadow of a figure disappear at the end of the corridor and go through the door furthest from him. Severus didn't hesitate and he resumed his run, reaching the door quickly and flung it open.

He stepped into the doorway and found the figure was laying on the floor glaring up at the large three-headed dog as it's large paw came around for another swipe. The figure moved just in time to avoid the large claws and the black fur of the beast ruffled in frustration, "Hello Fluffy," Severus greeted the monstrously large dog. The angry beast's attention was momentarily directed to Severus as it lunged forward just as Severus snatched the prone form on the floor by the (front of the robes) and out of range of three sets of snarling jaws.. Fluffy's rightmost head, in eagerness to snap up the man on the floor, knocked the middle head out of the way as it was about to close its sharp teeth on the figure. Severus barely managed to pull the man out and slam the door shut on Fluffy's enraged heads as they howled and barked.

The torches that were merrily burning earlier were now muted and let out an eerie glow. Severus threw the man to the floor and cast _Lumos_ in the poorly lit corridor, confirming his suspicions as Quirrell's face looked up at Severus from the floor.

Quirrell stood and said in a cold flat voice, "The Dark Lord will return, Severus Tobias Snape and your services will be required. You will be called upon."

As Quirrell's voice faded, darkness suddenly swept through the corridor, extinguishing Severus' wand light. Black dust filled the air, and as Severus relit the end of his wand, the figure and any trace of light disappeared.

OOOO

"S-Severus?" Came a soft, hesitant voice edged with worry. Severus's head was swimming, and as he opened his heavy eyelids, two blurry faces, McGonagall and Quirrell, wavered in front of him. Professor McGonagall was looking at Severus with concern.

He suddenly realized he was on the floor and sat up quickly, "What the hell?" he asked as he forced himself to stand on shaky legs.

"Oh thank goodness, Severus. We need you!" McGonagall said as she grabbed Severus' arm and started to pull him up. Quirrell looked like he was going to head in a different direction but Severus gripped the man's teaching robes and pulled him along as the man whimpered in protest.

"What is going on Minerva?" Severus asked in an annoyed tone.

"The troll has left the dungeon! The students are in their dorms but if the troll were to find an entrance…"

"Right." Severus said, slipping from Minerva's hold to focus more intently on the shaky man next to him.

"You seem more shook up then I am Quirrell…did something not go according to plan?" Severus asked as he continued to pull the man along the corridor after Minerva.

"S-Severus I don't know what you-"

The far off roar of the troll echoed towards them and the faint sound of a child yelling cut Quirrell off. .

The three professors stopped and warning bells went off in Severus's head, the tone in that voice was very familiar. "Oh Gods….Gods, POTTER!" Severus roared as he recognized Harry's yell, released Quirrell, and flew down the hall with the other two followingtwo following closely at his heels.

"Potter?" Minerva asked, breathless from running down the corridors.

"Only one student has such an annoying voice!" Severus bit out Sometimes that boy really pissed him off.

As they rounded corner after corner Severus heard the noises getting louder, "WHERE ARE THEY?" Severus bellowed as he stopped at the intersection of four separate hallways.

"SWISH AND FLICK!" Came a young female voice from two corridors over, and Severus recognized it as the Granger girl.

"Damn." Severus said as he quickly turned towards the voice, there was a loud _thunk_ that echoed towards them and suddenly McGonagall was in front of him, she had picked up the ends of her dress and was moving far more quickly than Severus had thought possible.

Rounding several more corners, they saw one of the doors to the girl's bathroom hanging awkwardly. They had found the source of all the noise. The three professorsthree professors rushed in the girl's bathroom and stopped dead in their tracks at what they saw.

The troll was on the ground unconscious, its club lying off to the side. Harry still had his wand out seemingly ready to protect himself, but quickly shoved it into his robe when he realized Severus was staring at him.

"Explain yourselves!" McGonagall exclaimed, her voice frazzled along the edges.

The bathroom was a complete wreck. The children were covered in dust and water was spouting from pipes that had been bashed from their places in the walls. The stalls had been reduced to shards and pieces of kindling and Granger stood estranged from the boys who seemed to be looking for the right words.

"You see what it was… it was like-"

"It's my fault professor!" Hermione said, stepping forward.

Apparently Minerva was even more confused then Severus, her voice filled with question as she asked, "Miss. Granger?"

Severus felt his own face screw up in disbelief.

"I went looking for the troll because I have read about them and thought I could handle it. But I was wrong, if Harry and Ron hadn't come and found me… I'd probably be dead."

Severus heard the minor deceit in Granger's voice, but didn't call her on it, he was just glad they were all safe. It didn't matter how the events had truly unfolded as long as the three children were unharmed and didn't seem traumatized. Severus spared a glance at Harry who was staring at his leg. Severus looked down and saw his pants were shredded, showing his bloodied and mangled leg. Severus swiftly pulled his cloak around himself, effectively covering the wound and gave the boy a look that was laced with warning.

Severus listened as Minerva scolded Granger and took points for her recklessness, turned to the boys and lectured them as well. Severus eyed the two, looking for any scratches or bruises. They seemed relatively unharmed, aside from the look of fear on their face as McGonagall came closer and closer to remove points. However, it surprised Severus to hear the woman award them both five points.

"For sheer dumb luck!" She snipped as she turned to go, no doubt she wanted to speak with Albus about who let the troll it.

"P-perhaps we ought to go. He m-might wake up." Quirrell stuttered to the children as he ushered them out.

The man lingered but Severus couldn't be bothered with him. He had more important matters. He caught up to Minerva and placed a hand on her shoulder. She stopped and turned to look at him, "Minerva… this will be hard for you to swallow, but I need you to tell Dumbledore to take Quirrell into consideration in regards to who let the troll in tonight."

The woman looked even more flabbergasted than when she had found the terrible trio in the bathroom with the troll.

"Severus, that is a very serious accusation… what evidence have you?"

Severus honestly had none, but he knew that Quirrell was the one who had done it, he just had to be. There was no way Quirrell could claim that he had been possessed. Severus had a gut feeling that even though the man would most likely play dumb about the scene in the third floor corridor he still needed to bring it up to Dumbledore.

"None as of yet but I will be up momentarily to speak with Albus and I want you to be there. I will need both of you to consider what I am about to tell you."

The woman reluctantly nodded, "Where are you going?"

"I just need to… I have to see to something. I won't be a moment." Severus took off in the other direction. He felt pain rush up his leg and he nearly fell.

Severus swore under his breath as he pulled his robes away from his leg to inspect the damage; Fluffy must have gotten him when he had pulled Quirrell from that room. He didn't remember any pain, nor did he remember Fluffy swiping at him. But perhaps the adrenaline from running had masked the pain. The abrasion on his leg was long and thin and even though it looked rather nasty it was not very deep and the bleeding had stopped on it's own.

Severus kept moving and did his best to hide his limp; he didn't want the Gryffindor Trio to be suspicious about where he acquired the wounds on his leg.

He just barely caught up to them before they disappeared behind the corridor leading to the portrait guarding the entrance to their common room, "Potter! Granger! Weasley!" he called, keeping his voice even and loud.

The three Gryffindors halted at his voice, looking scared and reluctant, but he didn't have time to encourage to their fear right now. He stopped in front of them and stared down, noting their nervous fidgeting.

"As it appears you three were _not_ with the other students as you had been ordered I need a moment of your time to ask you some questions." He said, speaking in his usual classroom tone. He kept his words spaced and even to make sure they understood everything he was saying.

"How can we help Professor?" Hermione asked and Severus mentally thanked the girl for keeping this practical.

"Did any of you three, before, during, or after the incident with the troll notice anything unusual? Any shadows or strange people you haven't seen before, perhaps someone who had run away from the general grouping of the students? Any student perhaps that wasn't at dinner or who has been acting odd?"

The three thought a moment. After a few minutes, Hermione and Ron shook their heads but Harry kept staring straight, brows furrowed in concentration as if trying to recall something from his mind.

"Potter?" Severus asked as soft and calmly as he could. Harry looked up at him and then shifted his eyes to glance at his friends.

"Right. Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, you are free to go to bed. Mr. Potter will be along shortly." Granger and Weasley hesitated but quickly turned and moved through the portal after he glared at them.

Severus took Harry tightly by the back of his neck and steered him a little ways down the hall. When he came to a halt he took a moment and said softly, "Mr. Potter, are you all right?"

The boy gave him a confused face but nodded to show he was indeed okay. Severus gently took the boy's chin in his fingers and moved his head from side to side looking for anything that could be considered a wound.

"You know, aside from the fact that you should be dead right now due to a mountain troll attack, I was rather impressed by your efforts to protect Miss. Granger. Perhaps your abilities against the dark arts and other evils in the world are even more advanced then people think."

Harry seemed to step back a little out of Severus's hold and the man almost reached for the boy instinctually. He stopped himself and said softly, "I am glad you are un-harmed Mr. Potter, but now is not the time to be forgetful. You are not in my Potions class so I will not deduct points on your answer, no matter how small or insignificant you may think something is. Now tell me if you noticed something off, anything at all. Even the smallest thing could help."

Harry looked up at him again and Severus let out a small sigh of exasperation, maybe he had been to hard on the boy the last few months. He decided for a more direct approach and hoped no one was about to see what he was going to do. Severus knelt on his good knee, which was difficult considering his other leg was now throbbing steadily, reminding him of his need to visit the hospital wing.

"Mr. Potter, listen to me." He placed his hands on the boy's shoulder and squeezed to bring the boy back to reality, "I need to know. Whoever did this could be planning something else at a later time. Someone could get hurt… did you or did you not see anything?"

Finally it seemed Potter had made up his mind, he slowly shook his head and held the man's gaze. Severus stared back looking into his eyes trying to find the truth. Those green eyes were indeed hiding something but Severus did not have the time or energy to try and pry it out of him.

"If you change your mind, you will tell Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore or myself. Do I make myself clear?" Severus said, a little harsher than he had intended.

Harry nodded once and then said quickly, almost as if he realized that Severus was about to send him to bed, "Sir… your leg?"

"That is none of your business Mr. Potter. Now get to bed before I take fifty points from Gryffindor for being nosy." The boy glared at him but didn't protest the dismissal. Harry turned sharply and walked away towards the dorms.

Severus stayed long enough to make sure the boy had entered his common room before heading towards the Headmaster's office. He had to get to Dumbledore.

OOOO

"I am telling you Albus, it was Quirrell! The Confundus charm on the staircases and the halls were powerful, but not unbreakable. It was the strength of magic I would expect from him, and I am telling you… I swear I saw him run into that room with Fluffy. I dragged him out before Fluffy got to him and the torches in the corridor wouldn't light properly. I couldn't make out the face in the room but I definitely know that I saw Quirrell's face after we were in the corridor. "

"Severus." Dumbledore said softly, "Though I take your word very seriously, without proof, I cannot just have one of my staff taken to Azkaban. Not to mention that the troll could have been let in by Peeves or any of the more rebellious studentsPeeves or any of the more rebellious students could have let in the troll as a Halloween prank. These are factors you are not taking into account."

"Albus, the man has been acting so strange since he came back! You can't deny it! It's been almost two years now and he still acts like feathers have teeth and claws. Not to mention he has been following me around like a puppy dog wanting to mount my leg! If you won't do something about him I will." Severus said with venom as he looked back and fourth between Minerva and Dumbledore with as calm a face as he could muster after his outburst.

"Albus, I think you should listen to what Severus is saying. . Quirrell did seem almost too calm tonight after that grandiose fainting spell in the Great Hall. I found Quirrell pulling Severus down the hall away from the hospital wing and he has a bite on his leg that should have made Quirrell's first priority taking Severus in the opposite direction towards the hospital wing. I think the man was heading outside. Had I not found them and told Quirrell to lay Severus down, there is no saying where Severus would have been taken."

"I'd wager the Dark Forest." Severus said. "He has been trying to get me there for months."

"The Dark Forest?" Minerva asked.

Severus nodded once slowly and then said, "He is under the impression that someone is slaying Unicorns but he said he didn't want to alert you, Albus, until he had proof. In all honesty, I think he just wants to get me alone. That man came back from damn study abroad adventures more damaged than we realized." Severus was leaning against the cold wall next to Dumbledore's fireplace, his arms folded across his chest.

"Very well, something will be done. I value both of you. Minerva, I would like for you to keep an eye on the third floor. And Severus, Quirrell and Harry are under your keen eye."

Severus nodded and turned to limp from the room as Dumbledore continued, "And do get that leg looked at, won't you my boy?"

"Oh no need. I figured I would just let it rot off." Albus chuckled as Severus's sarcasm and Severus shook his head, shutting the office door behind him.

OOOO

It had been almost two weeks since the troll fiasco and Severus still had a minor limp in his leg. Relief had swept over him that night when he had returned to his own room. Relief that Harry had been all right, relief that Albus was going to look into the whole Quirrell, Dark Forest, puppy dog issue that Severus was suffering from.

Severus had neglected to mention the strange voice that had spoken to him right before the darkness had taken his consciousness away. The voice was still ringing in his ears and sent a shiver up his spine. He hadn't told Minerva or Albus. . Severus felt like keeping it to himself for now. Nothing says it was more than just a hallucination caused by the fatigue and stress of running around the castle.

_The Dark Lord will return, Severus Tobias Snape, and your services will be required. You will be called upon. _The words echoed in Severus' mind, eliciting another shiver.

As Severus entered the Great Hall for breakfast, his gaze swept the Gryffindor table and took in Harry sitting together with Granger and Weasley. Harry looked pale and nervous as he pushed his food around on his plate. Granger leaned over and seemed to insist he eat something but Harry seemed to give a short snappy reply.

Of course, Harry's nervousness was well founded. Today was his first Quidditch match. The boy was likely to vomit from anxiety in the next several hours as he waited for the game to approach. Though Severus had never been really good at words of comfort, he figured that if he was discreet, perhaps he could slip in a small word before the rest of the students came down for breakfast. As Severus quickly approached Gryffindor Table, he heard Harry mumble something about not being hungry.

"Good luck today Mr. Potter. Though now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you; even if it is against Slytherin." Even Severus had heard the sarcasm in his voice, he hadn't meant for it to be there. He had meant to sound sincere; instead he had just made himself look like an arse.

Severus noted the green eyes of the boy changing from hurt and confusion to a rather hard glare up at him and suddenly Severus didn't feel like talking. He swept away from the three and heard Harry start to whisper hurriedly to his friends. Oh this was shaping up to be a fun day indeed. Part of Severus hoped that the boy would enjoy his first match, another part of him, the part that truly despised how much attitude the boy was receiving, really hoped he would fall off his broom.

**A/N: Okay, slow chapter I know. But guess what, something exciting is coming in the next chapter, Harry and Severus share a moment and Harry suddenly gets very confused! Let me know what you think! Once again thank you to DelightfulSins who has graciously agreed to be my editor! These chapters get better each time I read the edits and suggestions DS makes. **


	11. Broom Mayhem

**A/N: I had to erase the original A/N because the chapter has been broken up so I can post sooner. I want to thank Delightful Sins who had taken the time again to edit the whole chapter and has graciously sent half of it ahead so that I can update to you all. I would also like to take this moment to announce that due to circumstances beyond our control (aka bad internet lol) Delightful Sins will not be able to edit after this chapter and the next chapter are updated. I will do my best to make sure that the story is fluid and well edited but it is not one of my strong suits.**

**As before I will post the second half of this chapter as chapter 12 and after that all chapters will most likely not be broken up. I hope you enjoy this section and thank you all for your wonderful patients. I strayed from the book and decided I liked how it turned out so I may do it a bit more in the next few chapters to see how it feels. **

**Chapter 11 **

**Broomstick Mayhem**

The game had been going really well, the Gryffindors had been leading until Flint had taken matters into his own hands. Severus watched as another Gryffindor team member fell; Quidditch was a rough game but perhaps he should talk to Flint about being a little too aggressive.

Severus's eyes narrowed as he watched Potter fly quickly from one side of the pitch to the other. He was a blur half of the time and on occasion, Severus felt his stomach drop, because the Potter-esque blurs that had flown by looked exactly like James. Several times Severus had wanted to jinx the boy's broom, his hand twitching to his wand, until he remembered the identity of the blur.

It was a quarter into the game when it appeared young Mr. Potter had spotted the snitch. The game had been a brutal one, thanks to Severus's tricky little snakes, but it appeared that Potter was going to win one for-

"And now it looks like Mr. Potter is having a little trouble with his Nimbus 2000!" The announcer chimed in, cutting Severus's thoughts short.

"WHAT?" Severus gapped as he watched Harry suddenly getting jerked about. His broom had turned into a bucking bronco and Harry was barely managing to hold on. Severus felt his heart nearly burst from shock and his shaky hands took hold of his knees and his eyes locked onto the boy's broom.

He started to murmur the first counter curse that came into his head and he neither removed his eyes from the broom, nor did he blink as he focused on trying to stop the blasted broom from moving. Harry was suddenly hanging on by a thread, he was dangling like a worm on a hook and Severus stared harder as he put all his magical energy into holding the bucking broom still.

Severus's mind was on fire and his will was starting to bend. Wrinkles formed across his forehead as his eyes burned into young Harry. It must have only been a few minutes but it felt like eternity and Severus furrowed his brow, sweat making his dark hair plaster to his temples. _Where the HELL was Albus_! Surely he could see this! Why wasn't he trying to help!

Distantly, through his desperate concentration towards keeping Potter from falling to his death, Severus heard, "FIRE! Your cloak is on fire!" and Severus, on instinct, looked and shot up from his seat, stomping at the small orange fire that ate at his clothing. People behind him shifted and he glanced up to see Quirrell fall off his bench.

_When the bloody hell had that man gotten there ! _Severus thought as he finally managed to put the fire out. His hair hung in his face as he looked up to see that Potter had remounted his broom and was zooming off towards a golden glint in the distance. Severus felt a wave of exhaustion steal over him and he quickly sat down, taking in a strong, fortifying breath. Whoever had been jinxing Harry's broom had been seriously focused on their task and it had taken every last ounce of his will and magical potency to get the broom to hold still long enough for Potter to get back on and into the game.

Had the boy fallen, a quick spell could have kept him from any real harm. But if no one had been paying attention— if Severus had been the only one to notice…

Severus glanced back to see that Quirrell was gone and there was no trace of his turbaned head in the nearby stands. Apparently Albus wasn't going to be talking to Quirrell any time soon because no man would be brave enough to attack a student at Hogwarts if the Headmaster thought you a suspect. Severus was going to have to take matters into his own hands.

Severus's eyes darted onto the pitch when he heard the crowd collectively gasp. His eyes widened at the sight of Harry… standing on his broom?

Severus clenched his teeth and his hands tightened into fists,_ foolish boy! _He thought angrily. While Severus realized it wasn't an impossible trick, he had seen the dog Black do it before, Harry had never done it before this game; Severus had seen the entirety of the boy's practices so he knew that this was a new experience for the boy. Severus held his breath as Harry reached out for the snitch that was darting about in front of him.

He saw it before everyone else, Harry took a slight step forward and the broom nose-dived the remaining three feet towards the ground and Harry went falling in a heap, tucking and rolling like an expert.

Severus breathed a sigh of relief for only a moment as the boy came out standing, but Severus' breath caught in his throat again as the boy suddenly gave a heave of his shoulders…

"HARRY POTTER HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!" A voice roared and the stands exploded with cheers from the Gryffindor side and groans from the Slytherins. Severus didn't wait for the cheers to die down; he darted from his seat and quickly made his way down towards the Gryffindor locker room. He felt weak, his legs like jelly barely supporting his weight, but he kept walking, pushing people out of his way as they continued to cheer.

"GO GO GRYFFINDOR! GO GO GRYFFINDOR!" The cheers flooded down to him but he kept going, not allowing himself to be distracted from his purpose. He finally made it to the Gryffindor locker room, pushing himself back into a corner and waited. It was only a few minutes later that a ruckus came into the room.

"POTTER! POTTER! POTTER! POTTER!" The Gryffindor team's cheers reached Severus' hiding place at the back of the room. The group finally set the tiny boy down and Harry, smiling awkwardly said, "Thanks, you guys… but it wasn't anything… honestly I thought I had really buggered it up that last bit. It was just luck."

"NOT LUCK-" cried Fred.

"PURE-" George added while Fred scooped Harry up and spun him around.

"UNADULTARATED-"

"TALENT!" They cried together.

After a few more minutes of this ridiculous display Severus had had enough. He stepped from the shadows and cleared his throat.

The entire group turned and Fred and George jumped and hissed, "SNAKE!"

"He's come to avenge them!" Fred cried.

"QUICK HARRY! RUN!" George yelled as he stepped in front of the boy, blocking him from Severus' gaze.

"We have your back!" They called together.

"Enough!" Severus spat, "Out! All of you!" They all stood reluctant to leave Harry with the Head of Slytherin shortly after having won a Quidditch mathc against Slytherin, "I assure you, I have no intentions of harming Mr. Potter. Now. Get. Out." He said, eerily calm. .

The Gryffindors all gave Harry worried and apologetic looks but nonetheless, grabbed their things. They slowly walked out and the twins kept glancing back at Harry worriedly before they were finally out of sight. .

Severus took a step towards the boy once everyone had cleared out and Harry took another step back. The boy looks uncertain and rather scared, it was almost as if Harry was expecting something brutal to happen.

"Harry…" Severus started in an attempt to reach out to his once kindred spirit. At the site of the boy's wide, green eyes shooting up to lock on his face, Severus quickly bit his tongue and growled trying to hide his slip, "Potter! Get over here! After that plunge you took off of your broom, it would be wise to allow me to see if you are unharmed, otherwise you will have to be content with a visit to Madame Pomfrey and I know you would like to avoid that at all costs."

Harry stood still as Severus approached him again, and Severus took that as a sign to proceed. He then quickly knelt before the boy, looking him over, bending arms and legs and checking Harry's eyes for dilation, bruises, or strange marks. This examination wasn't simply for the sake of checking for physical injuries because of the fall, the boy's broom had been jinxed, there could be residual effects, and perhaps there had been more to it than a simple jinx. Maybe it had been a curse…

"Do you feel strange at all Mr. Potter?" Severus asked, tearing himself from his speculations as he took the boy's face in his hands and pulled the boy's head up to look at him.

"Hello? Mr. Potter? Answer me you silly child!" Severus continued when the boy didn't respond.

Harry's face twisted and he leaned forward slightly, causing Severus' onyx eyes to widen in surprise, "Sir… have we…. Have we ever m-met before? I m-mean before I… came h-here…" Harry asked as he fisted his Quidditch cloak nervously.

Severus felt his entire body go rigid with cold, he dropped his hands from their resting place on Harry's face and stood slowly, not bothering to finish his exam. If this was a sign of Harry remembering who he was it was a very bad thing. If Harry remembered then Severus's position could be revealed. There were to many threats to the boy's safety and to Severus's if he was starting to remember. Severus would have to speak to Dumbledore about this.

He gave his best sneer but it felt half-hearted at best and said, "Don't be stupid Harr-" Severus stopped himself and cleared his throat, "Report to Madam Pomfrey if you have any issues in the next few days." He felt his voice losing its strength and he cleared his throat again.

As Severus turned to leave, he heard a hesitant "Sir-" but he ignored the boy's call and walked away as fast as his legs could carry him.

OOOO

Harry had never felt so happy in his life; the only time that came close was when he realized that his time as a wizard hadn't been a dream. He was being carried into the locker room by his teammates while they cheered his name. Harry's happiness didn't stem from being the reason behind Gryffindor winning the Quidditch match or being popular with his team. Harry was surrounded by people who _wanted_ to be his friends, who _wanted_ to be around him. He felt accepted and he was basking in the feeling.

The cheers and hurrah's continued for several minutes as the twins got carried away and started to spin him around. Harry thought he might be sick until,

"Eh hem." The Gryffindor team had all heard a throat being cleared and looked in the direction of the sound to see Professor Snape in a corner of the room, looming like a predator.

The twins had jumped to his defense, albeit in a rather silly manner, when Snape demanded everyone leave, but after several awkward moments, his team cleared out, leaving Harry and Snape alone in the Gryffindor locker room.

Snape approached and Harry, knowing very well what usually happened when he was left alone with stern adults, took a step back.

"Harry…" the instant his name had left the man's lips, Harry had looked up in shock. Not only had Professor Snape never called him by his first name (not that he ever called any student, except, Malfoy by his first name), he had sounded different. There was gentleness to the voice, something so familiar that Harry couldn't take his eyes off the man.

Professor Snape had seemed just as shocked as Harry had felt and quickly changed his tune. With an angry growl he had ordered Harry to come forward and ranted on about his accident with his broom and Madame Pomfrey. Severus had been right, Harry didn't want to go see that woman and he wasn't supposed to ever see a doctor. Uncle Vernon had made sure of that, even when Aunt Petunia had insisted that it wouldn't cost them anything Vernon had denied him care.

He waited as the Professor walked to him and knelt down, he had started to test every joint, bone, and area of skin that was exposed. It was almost as if he was trying to find something besides an injury. When the man took hold of his face and peered into his eyes, Harry felt something within him stir like a half forgotten memory. The man looked so bloody familiar but Harry couldn't put his finger on why. Those dark eyes, the hair and even the man's smell were familiar but there were no memories that came with the undeniable familiarity Harry felt and sensed.

"Hello? Mr. Potter? Answer me you silly child!"

Harry knew this might be the only moment when they would be alone, his only chance to ask the man what he wanted to know. He furrowed his brow, pulled on his brave face, and looked the man straight in the eye, "Sir… have we…. Have we ever m-met before? I m-mean before I… came h-here…"

Harry felt the man go rigid, the man's surprisingly warm hands dropped from his face and he stood up and took a quick step back. There was a deafening silence between them and Harry saw a splash of emotion play across the man's face before his eyes grew dark.

"Don't be stupid Harr-" _THERE! _The man had done it again! He had called him Harry, almost as if he had done it a million times before. Almost as if he was familiar with Harry, had known him at some point.

"Report to Madam Pomfrey if you have any issues in the next few days." Professor Snape said as he turned on his heel and almost bolted for the door.

"Sir-" Harry had started to say, but the man had ignored him and kept walking. Harry stood alone in the suddenly cold locker room, staring after him looking every bit his age of eleven..

OOOO

"You alright, Harry?" Hermione asked that night at dinner, looking up from a book she held in her left hand.

Harry looked down at his plate, which had remained untouched and he moved his potatoes around absently as he thought about what happened in the locker room with Snape. .

"Listen…" Harry started quietly. Both Hermione and Ron leaned in to try and keep the conversation between them.

"Something strange happened in the locker room today after the match. Snape… he…"

"Oh no, what did the old bat do? Did he take your broom?" Ron asked, expecting the worst.

"No. He… he came down to look at me. To make sure I hadn't taken a hard tumble on the pitch." Hermione and Ron looked at each other with the same expression before they looked back to Harry.

"It all seemed relatively normal until…" Harry stopped, suddenly unsure if he should share what had transpired.

"Come on, mate. You can trust us." Ron said reassuringly and Hermione nodded.

"It was strange; I had this sudden feeling of familiarity. Like we had met before. Like I know him or something… before I came to Hogwarts. I had this feeling before, the first night after the sorting and also the night the troll got in; when he pulled me aside and sent you two to bed."

"But Harry, how is that possible? You've never met him before… have you?" Hermione questioned.

"Not before Hogwarts anyway right?" Ron added.

" Not until that first potions class. But even then, his eyes focused on me, almost like there was a sense of knowing me. It's kind of… creepy." Harry said as he glanced at the head table. Professor Snape was staring right at him. Harry felt blood rush from his face and he leaned back into his seat.

The other two followed suit and quickly started to eat again, "I don't know what to do. I thought Snape was trying to get to whatever it is that Fluffy is hiding . But now? I just don't know."

"Maybe it's a spell." Hermione offered.

"Everything is a spell to you Hermione." Ron teased.

"But I mean it. I am sure there must be a spell that could be used in a way to lure someone into a false sense of security. Maybe he knows we suspect him, which could be why he questioned us. He wanted to know if we knew that he'd let the troll into the castle and that he was trying to steal whatever is hidden beneath that trapdoor. Maybe he cast a spell or drank a potion that would make you more comfortable around him. That way if you did know something…"

"I'd come right out and tell him…" Harry trailed off as he realized what she was implying.

"I mean, why would the head of Slytherin come to check and see if the Seeker for Gryffindor was alright? I was considering maybe…"

Harry and Ron started to lean in again to hear what Hermione had to say, "Ron and I think Snape was the one jinxing your broom. I saw him across the way with my binoculars. He had solid eye contact—not blinking at all. If he was trying to knock you from your broom and failed…"

"Because Hermione is brilliant." Ron said cutting in.

Hermione blushed a little and continued, "Maybe he had been trying to get you alone in the locker room to finish the job."

Harry thought about this a moment and then looked down at his half eaten potatoes, "I don't know Hermione. I mean, do you have proof that he was trying to hurt me?"

"Nothing, aside from what I saw on the pitch. But Harry, I still think we should keep a close eye on him. He wasn't blinking and he was chanting something. I saw him."

"I did too and if Hermione hadn't set him on fire… who knows what would have happened."

"You set him on fire?" Harry asked in shock.

"It was bloody brilliant!" Ron said with a smile and Hermione blushed again and looked at Ron with a smile.

Harry looked at her and nodded, "Thanks. I guess you're right. We can't take the chance that he might be trying to mess with me some how. I will just have to be very careful and make sure I am never alone with him."

His two friends nodded slowly and Harry glanced back at the table, Snape had a sneer on his face as he eyed Professor Quirrell who was nervously returning the gaze over his glass of wine.

OOOO

Severus watched the trio whisper over dinner and he felt a knot in his stomach tighten. Was the brat telling them what had happened in the locker room? Maybe they were talking about what had happened during the game. Harry's head popped up to look at him and his face paled considerably when their eyes met.

"Damn it." Severus hissed under his breath. The boy ducked back down and continued to talk to his friends.

"Severus, is something wrong?" came a soft question from McGonagall, seated on Severus' left next to Dumbledore. Severus avoided her gaze and turned his dark eyes to Albus.

"No. Just a… an issue that has come to my attention. I have to figure out how to handle it without…assistance. It's a personal issue." The old woman eyed him kindly, placing her hand lightly on his own. He looked at her hand a moment and then sighed, leaning back in his chair.

A noise came from his right and Severus looked over to see Quirrell choking on his wine. The man kept the glass to his face and Severus eyed him suspiciously.

"Would you have time tonight to have a conversation with me Quirrell?"

The man's eyes grew wide and he made another choking noise but didn't lower his glass.

"Come now," Severus continued, glancing at Quirrell from the corner of his eye, "You've wanted to speak to me privately all term and now I am giving you a chance—"

"R-regrettably I have some place to be t-tonight…. Perhaps l-later in the w-week?"

Severus glared at him, sure that there was something nefarious going on behind his stuttering and watched as he hid behind his goblet continuing to slowly suck down the wine.

"Minerva… would you like to play a game of chess tonight?" Severus asked, turning from Quirrell and once again leaning back. He put his fingers to the bridge of his nose in an attempt to keep a rather large headache at bay.

"Why- I'd love to Severus!" She said, giving him a genuine smile.

"Very well, I shall be available any time after ten. By then, I should be finished grading the poor excuse of an essay the incompetent Gryffindors are sure to have handed in."

"Severus, you really are too hard on them. Potions is an exact science, most of them just don't have the focus or interest that you did as a child. Especially the first years… perhaps you could help some of them with out of class study groups… or tutoring?"

"Minerva if I had time-" He paused and his eyes dragged across the room and stopped again on Harry. Harry was one of the students struggling. What if he…

"I will consider it. Perhaps we can talk about it more over that game of chess. Eleven o'clock?"

"Of course. I look forward to helping." The woman smiled as she sipped her wine and selected a rather wonderful looking brownie from the dessert tray.

OOOO

Six uneventful weeks went by without any further incidents. Strangely enough, Severus noticed that Quirrell was avoiding him. Normally Severus would be overjoyed that the stuttering fool was no longer seeking his attention, but after everything that had been happening in the castle, he suddenly felt like this was a terrible thing indeed. He would have to seek the man out and corner him.

Today was his last potions class before Christmas break, and after several conversations with McGonagall and one rather normal — to Severus' relief — conversation with Dumbledore it was decided that Severus would offer, though he never had before and probably never would again, private lessons to those who were struggling in his first year potions classes.

"Silence!" Severus growled as he entered his classroom in a rather foul mood. He didn't _want_ to offer extra assistance, he was always busy his students papers and tests and he barely had time to work on his own potions as it was. However, it was very apparent that several students, Harry included, needed assistance and he knew that if he had a chance to help Harry without the boy knowing that he was helping, Severus had to utilize the opportunity when it was presented.

"With Winter break beginning on Monday, most of you will be away from the castle. However, I have recently discussed circumstances with the Headmaster, and as he is rather concerned with certain students and their-"his lip curled in distaste "-…grades. As such, I have been forced to offer extra assistance. Anyone who would desire to do so, may sign up for private tutoring-" Severus barely repressed a shudder "-with me, as terrifying as that prospect is. Those of you who really need it should, of course, consider this offer, as Potions is a class that shall be required of you as you move up in your years of study at Hogwarts; it would be to your benefit to sign up. Those who are staying for Christmas break may start their tutoring earlier if they want to, however it will have to occur later in the evenings since I, like all of you, have things I plan to do over break. The list will be in the back of the class, please sign it on your way out if you are interested and do keep one thing in mind. Private tutoring is not like a classroom situation, it's usually one on one. There will be minor amounts of extra study, but no homework. You should consider the private lessons as more time to practice. I suggest anyone with lower then a Poor should consider these study sessions a blessing and not beat around the bush about it. Anyone with a Dreadful or Troll in the class may be required to take up the tutoring if I feel that the extra time will be of value and assistance in the years to come."

After that long speech everyone sat quietly, he waited and finally the Granger girl's arm shot up, Severus _really_ didn't want to call on her, but after that long rant he knew that not calling on her would deter students from signing up.

"Yes?" Severus asked.

"Sir, would it be possible for those of us with Acceptable or Exceeds Expectations to sign up and utilize the private lessons as extra credit and also further time to study the exact science of potion making? I know I would benefit from revisiting the Shrinking and Engorgement potions and could really work on my Potions History notes."

Severus stared at her and saw the pleading look in her eyes; he saw her desperate desire to receive the Outstanding that she most likely had in every other class. Severus really, really, really, _really_ wanted to refuse; he wanted to see the look of disappointment on the know-it-alls face, but his eyes darted to Harry who was looking at him with a doubtful and irritatingly familiar expression on his face. Too much like his father! It changed Severus's resolve instantly; he wouldn't let the boy look at him like that.

"Miss. Granger, please remain after class and you and I may speak about this privately."

The girl looked shocked and so did half of the class. Harry however smiled at him brightly and nudged Hermione who seemed to come back to her senses, "T-thank you sir." She said in a dazed tone.

Severus nodded and turned to look at the chalkboard. He didn't know why but a smirk crept across his face and he felt satisfaction fill his person. Harry had willingly smiled at him, even if it was in shock he had still made the boy smile.

OOOO

Harry had been just as stunned as Hermione had been when Professor Snape had offered to speak with Hermione after class. No one had ever thanked Snape in class before, Hermione had been the first and there were murmurs as the man had turned to spell instructions for a cure to boils and abrasions with a flick of his wand onto the chalkboard.

The rest of the class was rather normal and Professor Snape berated and insulted anyone whom he felt was incompetent. After the cauldrons have been cleaned and the scales put away, Hermione packed up her books quickly, intent on making her way to the front of the room where Professor Snape sat at his desk. "Just be careful and remember that he is still a suspect." Harry warned his friend softly as Hermione adjusted the strap on her bag and nodded, "Potter! Longbottom! Weasley!" Snape called out as Harry, Neville, and Ron were striding out the door. "Stay after and come to the front with Miss. Granger!"

Harry felt his body go rigid and he winced, looking at Neville and Ron as he stopped in his tracks. He reluctantly turned around and headed towards the front of the room next to Hermione with the other two boys trailing behind.

On his way down the aisles, Harry spotted Malfoy, Crabb and Goyle huddled by the sheet near the door signing their names for extra potions tutoring with no hesitation.

He rolled his eyes, no doubt they were doing it to suck up to their Head of House, and the three Slytherins never suffered as much as the Gryffindors of the class did.

Professor Snape was sitting at his desk, and as the small group came to stand before him, Professor Snape stood and all but glided to stand before the four Gryffindor first years. He sat on the corner of the desk with his arms crossed over his chest and turned his dark gaze to Hermione.

"Alright, Granger you first. What reason do you have for me to allow you into the extra tutoring for Potions, considering that you are less incompetent at potion making than most in your year?"

Harry noticed that although her hands were shaking, Hermione squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, "Sir, I understand the logic behind potion making. But I still don't grasp why certain results come about. I know if I could improve on the few potions I don't understand fully, and if I can come to a better understanding of potion theory, I could… I could possible raise my grade to an Outstanding." Hermione chanced a peek at Professor Snape and continued, "If you think I have done the work required to receive the grade… sir."

Snape stared at her with a quizzical eye and then his lip twitched a little and he started slowly, "How about this Miss. Granger, I will allow you to sign up for private lessons on one condition. That instead of focusing on the potions we've already attempted in this class, I will help you work on more advanced potions, which should, in theory allow you to better understand the science behind the art that is potion making. If you are able to successfully create the more advanced potions after a few weeks of private tutoring, then I will consider, _that is not a guarantee either Miss. Granger_,"He emphasized when Hermione's face turned very hopeful, "I will _consider_ raising your grade to an O."

Harry was gob smacked and by the looks of it, so were Ron and Neville, though Hermione was trying valiantly to contain her smile. "Yes sir!" She said.

"Very well, you may go." The girl beamed at the three boys, and as she left the room, they heard a rather excited, "YES!" echo back into the room.

"She must be mental. I don't know how she was in her muggle school before she came here but she must have driven the teachers there mad." Ron said, his eyes lingering on the door where Hermione had disappeared.

"Envy is not an attractive emotion Mr. Weasley. Should Miss. Granger wish to succeed, I have no intention of standing in her way. However," Professor Snape skewered the three Gryffindor boys with a look, "the three of you need to take some common sense from your friend and truly attempt to apply yourselves. Longbottom, you've a troll in this class, therefore I regrettably have to inform you that I am requiring you to take the private lessons, same for you Mr. Weasley. However, you Mr. Potter… you've only received a Dreadful, I could require you to take the private tutoring… starting over Christmas Break but I am aware that you seem to have… issues with me as I do with you. Therefore, I will leave it up to you if you wish for my assistance in improving."

Harry stood rooted to the spot. Snape was giving him a _choice_? He looked to Ron and Neville, who had so much envy in their eyes that he almost felt bad about saying no.

But before he could vocalize his refusal, his eyes caught Snape's and once again, that familiar feeling crept over him; part of Harry simply didn't believe that the familiar feeling was from a potion or spell. The way the man had ran from him in the locker room, and how he was staring at him now. Was that a trace of hope in his dark eyes, maybe a form of longing or a desire for Harry to agree to private lessons? There was only one way for Harry to figure out if the man was targeting Harry and his friends. But it did seem odd that once Hermione had asked about lessons, Snape had just happened to call Ron and himself to stay as well. Was this all part of a set-up? Did Snape have a plan to take them out of the picture so that he would be free in his pursuit of what Fluffy was hiding?

There was only one way to find out, he would have to spend time with the man even though he had agreed with his friends that he shouldn't be alone with him. He would take the private lessons, and try his damnedest to figure out what was going on and why he felt the man was so familiar to him.

After seeing the spark of hope in the man's eyes and deciding for himself that he wanted answers, Harry found himself saying, "Yes sir, I could use some extra help… I have been making a muck of things in this class. I'd like to at least finish next term with an Acceptable."

Harry saw satisfaction quickly flash across the man's face and Snape nodded once before saying, "Good choice. Now, you two are staying for Christmas Break, correct?" Ron and Harry nodded and Severus stood to walk across the room and pick up a sheet of parchment. Harry noticed a surprised look cross Snape's face, apparently more people had signed up then he thought.

"Alright, you, Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, will begin your tutoring over the break. An hour every Tuesday and Thursday for two weeks, but not together. I can't do group study because individual students usually have individual problems." Snape turned to look at Neville, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else, "As for you Longbottom, give me a list of when your spare hours are for next term and when your classes end each day and we will find a time that works best for you."

The boy nervously nodded and the three of them started to leave, "And Potter…" Snape said as the other two left the room. Harry looked back, dread tightening his muscles and making him hunch his shoulders defensively, "Do try to stay _out_ of trouble over break. It won't do you any good to sign up for private lessons if you can't make them."

Harry nodded, relieved and confused in turns before hastening to run out the door. Harry was making his way back to the common room when a thought occurred to him. Why was Snape seemingly so worried about him? And why had he given Harry the choice to skip out on the extra lessons? One thing was for sure, that man was a puzzle wrapped in a riddle.

**A/N: Please read and review and let me know what you thought. It will help me get through the next chapter when Delightful Sins is done editing! Thanks for reading! **


	12. Reunited and it feelslike shit

OOOO

Severus was in his private sitting room staring into the fire. It had been a really long day. He sipped gently at his glass of brandy while he mulled things over. Harry was starting to remember him, and he was not supposed to. Albus wouldn't say anything on the matter aside from, "Sometimes memories are to important to forget," or "You mattered to him when he was little, he cared for you." All his comments were cryptic and never gave Severus a straight answer.

He was contemplating what he was going to do when he heard a pop and crack in his study. Surprise shot through him, the only creatures that would dare bother him at this time were the house elves, but what was a house elf doing in his study? He certainly hadn't summoned one. Rising quickly from his couch, Severus entered his study with a bad feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach.

An unfamiliar house elf stood before him and bowed, "Master Severus Snape sir, I am Dobby the house elf. I have been sent by my Master to ask for a meeting. Does Master Severus Snape sir have a few spare moments to meet with my Master?"

Severus stared a moment at the creature that invaded his domain before glancing outside. He noted the placement of the moon—it was sinking, "It's one in the morning." Severus said with annoyance.

"Yes sir, Dobby is sorry sir, but my Master… he wishes to speak with you, he says it is urgent."

"And just _who_ is your Master?"

Severus' answer came in the form of Lucius Malfoy as the fireplace nearby crackled and green flames rose high into the floo, drawing Severus' attention away from the house elf towards the figure appearing and stepping out from the grate. Severus felt his heart grow cold, what the hell was _he_ doing here!

The man was tall and thin but well built and his clothes spoke volumes about how well he was doing for himself. Long silvery hair, bright icy blue eyes, and the coldest smirk Severus had ever seen moved closer to him and he felt his memories of the man come flooding back.

"Hello Severus." The man said, a cruel smile twisting his lips.

Dobby let out a terrified little noise and Lucius's eyes fell on the house elf, "Good boy Dobby, you may go back to the house and tend to Narcissa." The house elf bowed lower than he had for Severus and disappeared with a crack out of sight.

"Severus, my dear friend," Lucius' voice purred, "It is _so_ good to see you."

Severus felt his heart pounding wildly like a caged animal as the man removed his dark green cloak, which appeared to be thick and lusciously warm and set his cane aside. Lucius extracted his wand from his cane which made of a dark shiny wood with a metal head and lazily pointed it at the fireplace. The fire grew and red and orange light flickered across the walls. "Perhaps you could arrange for some refreshments?" The man asked, a smirk evident in his voice.

Severus said nothing. He called for Grummet and the house elf popped in only to reappear shortly with a tray of tea and some biscuits. Once Grummet was gone Severus turned his back on the other man and walked slowly over to a bookshelf laden with many books and stared absently at a dirty faded book, reading the faint title on the tattered spine over and over.

_The Extended Works of the Brothers Grimm. _

_Lily, give me strength. _

"What are you doing here Lucius?" Severus asked quietly.

"Can't I come to see an old friend?" The man's words were smooth and even and Severus shivered.

"We aren't friends, not anymore." Severus said, still with his back to Lucius.

"Pity." Lucius said as he moved slowly across the room to stand behind Severus. Severus felt the man's light blue eyes burning into him and Severus hoped to God the man wasn't here for what Severus thought he might be here for.

"I have missed you. I haven't heard from you since… how long has it been Severus?"

Severus swallowed and tried to keep his voice from shaking, "Eleven years."

"Tsk, eleven years… it's felt like a life time." Severus flinched a little when he felt the man's fingers reach out and touch his hair.

"How did you know I was here?" Severus asked.

"My dear son, Draco, informed me that he really liked his Head of House — that he showed preference towards him and was very kind and understanding when the boy had had some issues adjusting. Apparently he had had a nightmare?" Lucius asked as his fingers crept closer to Severus' neck, wrapping a few strands of Severus' hair and gently spun it around his fingers. Severus turned and looked the man in the face, his cold blue eyes were intense and his pupils dilated.

"His description of you was uncanny, though he didn't do you justice." Lucius continued, "You look just as handsome as always. I knew right away when he said you were the Potions Master. Of course, the truth is, he mentioned your name… I just had to be certain before I made an appearance."

Severus took a step back when the man came closer; his back pressed against the bookcase and Severus saw the slight smirk as Lucius eyed his nervous behavior.

"There is no need to be nervous… I am not here to harm you. I just missed you; it's been eleven years after all… I thought perhaps we could… catch up." Lucius said as he stepped closer still, reaching his fingers out again, they trailed down Severus' face and Severus felt something inside of him grow angry, very angry. He was no longer a scared child; the man couldn't manipulate him anymore.

Severus slapped the hand away and turned, striding to stand next to the fire, . He put his hand on the corner of the mantle and stared at the flames as they writhed and danced.

"You shouldn't have come here. I am not the same person I was. I am a grown man and I won't let you… I will NOT let you take advantage of me. We aren't in school anymore, I am not a fool."

He felt Lucius moving to him, still slow and even, still the same calculating, manipulative, disgusting villain of a man he had been in school. He was trying to find a weakness in Severus, something he could use.

Lucius continued as if he hadn't been interrupted by Severus' outburst, "It's Christmas time… surely you remember when you spent Christmas at the Manor? You'd never gotten a Christmas Present before… you were so thrilled… it was such a pleasure to see you smile so brightly."

"Lucius… just stop!" Severus said as he spun to look at the man but stumbled back when the action showed just how close Lucius was to him; the man was right behind him. He landed with a hard thud on his ass, his elbows propped him up and he looked up, shocked, and Lucius smiled as he knelt down. He held out his hand and then smiled even more evilly as he removed his glove, "When was the last time you had a hand offered to you?" Lucius said as Severus eyed him warily from his position on the floor.

"Stop this right now." Severus said but Lucius moved closer as if he hadn't heard. Scooting back, Severus felt the corner of his desk at his back, effectively trapping him in place though that didn't stop him from pressing back further, trying to put more distance between himself and Lucius.

Lucius's eyes shined with desire and he moved closer, "Remember that night, after the Christmas party? My parents were on the terrace with the Black's and they were drinking… I stole that bottle of brandy… we got drunk… and you taught me that ridiculous Muggle tune. Rather romantic of you at the time. You said you heard your father teach it to your mother, then you taught it to me."

"God damn it Lucius leave me alone! Get out of here!" Severus hissed; he grew more and more uncomfortable as the memories resurfaced with Lucius's voice.

"Come now Severus, it's almost Christmas sing with me…"

"You're insane." Severus said and Lucius smiled brightly, "If you sing with me I promise I will leave you alone. Just one song… between friends…"

"We are not friends!" Severus yelled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"One song… and I will leave… come now… I'll even let you take the top."

Severus shuddered at that comment and looked at the man out of the corner of his eye.

"Just one verse Sev."

Lucius waited and Severus finally nodded slowly. If it would make the man go away he would sing an aria.

"_I really can't stay_." Severus started.

"But baby it's cold outside."

"_I gotta go away_."

"Baby it's cold outside."

"_This evening has been_."

"Been hoping that you'd drop in."

"_So very nice_."

"I'll hold your hands their just like ice."

"_My mother will start to worry_."

"Beautiful what's your hurry?"

"_My father will be pacing the floor_."

"Listen to the fireplace roar."

"_So really I better scurry_."

"Beautiful please don't hurry."

"_Well maybe just a half a drink more_."

"Put some records on while I pour." Lucios's had always sang very well and it was apparent his voice had improved with age. It was low and soft with a rather erotic undertone that, for a moment at least, had allowed Severus to bring his walls down just enough to sing the duet. His eyes had searched Lucius's face looking for any sign of kindness or compassion, but there was none to be found.

Severus stared at the man, he could tell that Lucius wanted to keep singing, but one verse is what Severus had agreed to.

"Baby it's bad out there. No cabs to be had out there. Your eyes are like starlight now. I'll take your hat your hair looks swell. Mind if I move in closer? What's the sense of hurtin' my pride? Baby, don't hold out. Ahh but its cold out side…"

"Enough." Severus said as he grabbed the top of the desk and tried to pull himself up. "You've managed to humiliate me… you did what you came to do. Now get out!" Severus said sharply.

"Dear Severus, I didn't come to humiliate you. I just wanted to come and visit my friend… I missed you."

"For the last time, we are not friends! And I don't care how much you say you missed me. I know you, you manipulative bastard. You won't win me over… not even with memories and that stupid song. Now get out!"

"But Severus…" Lucius said as he stepped up against him. Severus felt the man's heat emanating from his body; the man's bare fingers came up and ran through his hair tucking it behind his ear. His fingers moved down to catch his chin.

"Why did you really come here Lucius? I know you, and you don't just show up unless you want something…" Severus said as the man slowly leaned in.

"I just wanted to see you…"

"Goblin Shit." Severus said as Lucius brushed his lips across Severus's.

Lucius pulled back a little and looked into Severus's eyes, his smile dropped just a little and he sighed. He leaned in again but instead of going for another unwelcome meeting of mouths, brought his lips to Severus's ear, "I really did want to see you, because I _really_ _do_ miss you. You were different from the others; we had secrets no one else knew about. You are special Severus… but you are right… seeing you isn't the only reason."

Lucius pulled back and moved away from him and Severus felt his legs nearly give out; he quickly moved to a chair and began to pour the tea. Lucius's demeanor changed completely. He gave a sneer and sat across from Severus leaning back in what most would consider undignified, but that was the difference between Lucius's other friends, he didn't have to be a Malfoy when he was around Severus and the younger man knew this. Lucius had grown close to Severus because Severus had never judged him, never berated him for not keeping Pureblood appearances up.

"I was hoping…. Our history be damned… would you be willing to keep an eye on Draco… everything else aside… I trust you and I don't trust Dumbledore. Will you keep an eye on my boy?"

Severus suddenly realized the man looked worried, his brow was lightly furrowed and his fingers were drumming very slowly back and fourth on the arm of the chair, "Luc, your boy is safe here. No matter what _you_ did in the past, Dumbledore holds no grudges towards the boy… though Dumbledore seems to enjoy teaching the boy certain lessons, but to be fair, Draco can be rather nasty to other students sometimes."

"Only child syndrome." Lucius said with almost no interest in his voice.

"No excuses Luc… Draco can be rather bold and intelligent, he is a true Slytherin… but he also enjoys watching others suffer… much like you did."

"He is a good lad. Will you keep an eye on him? Be his guardian at least while he is at school away from my watchful eye?"

Severus snorted, he doubted that Lucius was the watchful father type but perhaps fatherhood had changed the man, he seemed genuinely concerned for his son but the man was a very accomplished liar.

"I suppose I could do that… with our past history I do owe you some gratitude… but don't expect anything else from me." Severus said holding up a finger.

"_Gosh your lips look delicious_." Lucius said so softly Severus almost didn't hear him.

"No." Severus said in a stern tone almost as if he was scolding a child.

"_But it's so could outside_." Lucius joked as he stood and approached.

"Stop it or I will refuse to do what you ask of me."

"_But look out the window at the storm_…"

"I swear to Hecate Lucius."

The man kneeled before him and reached a hand out; Severus grabbed said hand to stop it from moving any closer.

"Despite the fact that Muggles have always been disgusting creatures, their music was one thing you introduced me to that I just_ loved_."

Lucius shot forward and pressed his lips to Severus's, Severus stiffened horribly and his hand jerked up to shove Lucius away but the man grabbed his wrist holding him still.

Severus had forgotten how soft the man's lips were, how he smelled like spices and cloves, how his grip had always been stronger than his, which is why Severus had always lost this battle. Anytime he had tried to resist, the man had always overpowered him.

Lucius's spare hand rubbed up Severus's chest and then started to unbutton the black tunic but Severus finally had had enough. Too many years he had been subjected to Lucius's whims and giving the man what he wanted. He wouldn't do it anymore; he wouldn't submit or give in.

Severus grabbed his wand with his free hand and cast a spell, Lucius was tossed back rather gently and the man landed on the floor. Severus was breathing heavily but he stood and felt himself grow the bravery he had always lacked as a student. Lucius stood quickly and looked at Severus in shock

"Get. Out." Severus said as stern and cold as he could, his eyes burned into the blue orbs of Lucius and the man's surprise and shock slowly turned into a chuckle and then a full out laugh.

"You always did surprise me when we were younger, I should have expected more. I am pleased to see you've developed a backbone. It's good to see you Severus."

Severus raised his wand and motioned to the fireplace, "OUT!" The man nearly screamed.

"Very well old friend. I will go, but I will come to visit again. There are other matters aside from Draco and our old affairs that we need to speak of. Rumors are on the wind my friend… we need to prepare."

Severus said nothing as Lucius stepped into the fireplace and flooed back to his Manor. Severus collapsed into his chair and threw his wand down. He put his face in his hands and tried to fight back tears, "Fuck!" He yelled as he kicked a nearby end table.

He stood on his still shaky legs and walked to his fireplace. He ignored the lingering smell of Lucius and flooed to Albus's office.

He stepped out and sank to the floor as tears flooded his eyes and he gasped, "Albus I need to-" he stopped when he saw Minerva sitting across from the man with a pawn held in mid-air.

Albus stood suddenly and crossed to Severus, "Minerva, I believe we need a moment, do you mind if we finish this game at a later time?"

"Of course not. Good night, Severus and you Albus." She nodded to both and quickly left the room.

"My dear boy… what has got you so upset?" Albus asked as he helped Severus to stand, instantly the man wrapped his arms around the elder wizard and sobbed into his shoulder. Dumbledore didn't hesitate and he wrapped his long thin arms around the young man.

"Fuck…" came muffled from the man's mouth and Dumbledore smiled a little, he hadn't heard that word in a long time, it seemed so silly to hear it now.

"My dear, dear sweet boy… tell me… what has happened to make you so upset?"

Severus finally pulled away harshly, as if he had suddenly realized what he had been doing and turned to pace.

"Lucius Malfoy just… he just showed up in my private chambers…"

Albus grew still, and he looked at the young man's tear stained face.

"What happened?"

"He-he…. He hit on me! He tried to seduce me! He was acting like the last eleven years haven't happened… it was just like before…" Severus trailed off and looked at the man with anguish.

"It's not what you think…" Severus said quickly.

"It is fine dear one… I'd had a suspicion about his intentions towards you during school… However, I regret to say that I could not do anything about it unless you came forward…"

"How did you know?" Severus asked.

"Lily." Was all he said.

"Lily? B-but we weren't talking by then…"

"The dear girl noticed how you acted around Lucius…. Said she had seen it before… during the summers you spent together growing up…"

Severus flinched at that comment, "So she… she was worried about me?"

"Quite so. I suspect she didn't want you to know since she never made you come forward. I can only assume if anyone could have made you come forward it would have been her."

Severus nodded, "I had prayed she would come back to me, to help me, but by then things had begun the inevitable spiral out of control."

"Were you the only reason Lucius paid a visit?" Dumbledore asked carefully.

"No, no he wanted me to keep an eye on Draco. Make sure his son was doing okay in school and making friends… I shot him across the room with my wand when he kissed me and he seemed pleased… like I had passed some test… like he had been seeing how I would react, how I would defend myself… he said he was going to come back to talk about other matters… I think he means about Voldemort. He said there are rumors on the wind, that people are hearing things about him."

"That is not good."

"Indeed." Severus agreed.

"What do you wish to do about this?" Albus asked.

"Me? You are asking me?" Severus asked surprised.

"Yes my dear boy, I trust you and your judgment. Normally, I would ask you to see him again and try to gain information… but truthfully I do not want to put you in that situation unless you think you can handle it. Your safety is important to me no matter what you think and I won't put you in a dangerous situation unless you want to be, at least in this particular circumstance I think you need to be in control because it is more than just your mind that could be hurt. I am under the impression that the man is not a… kind… lover?"

Severus flushed horribly but shook his head and looked at his feet.

"I won't ask you to do this. I can block your fireplace from outsiders if you like… I was alerted to someone coming into your room but I didn't think on it since Poppy had said you were having her over for some sort of book discussion."

Severus felt his eyes scrunch up, "I had had to cancel on her because of the private lessons… I needed a couple hours to write up a schedule for break and next term."

"Oh yes… I hope those will go well. That was a marvelous idea Severus and really very kind of you."

"Albus can we please stay on topic?" Severus pleaded.

"Yes, yes my dear boy I am sorry. I will leave it up to you, I can make sure the man won't come back and you will never have to deal with it again. Or if you want to face your demons I will be here to support you… you are stronger now than you were as a child, I wouldn't doubt your superiority over Lucius… but I also know that in situations like what you went through it is hard to stand up to a tormentor."

Severus thought it over; on one hand Dumbledore was offering him a chance to avoid this entire situation. He wasn't guilting him, manipulating him or trying to talk him into it. He was genuinely worried and offering to help Severus literally save his ass.

But on the other hand, Severus really wanted to know what Lucius had heard, he wanted to know if Quirrell was tied into all this, he wanted to know who had survived the Dark Lord's fall and managed to hide from the Aurors. How many of his old "friends" still roamed free via hiding and staying close to Lucius.

Looking up at Dumbledore was easy but requesting the man's assistance made his stomach hurt, "I will continue to see Lucius but will not sacrifice my dignity to do so. I will try to extract what I can from him but the instant he tries to go too far I am going to hex him into oblivion and I will discontinue seeing him."

Dumbledore nodded and then asked, "Do you wish me to keep tabs on the meetings or would you prefer privacy… I trust you to tell me what I need to know."

Severus was so grateful that he smiled lightly, "Due to the man's overly abundant hormones I would prefer it to remain private. If he tries to undress me again I'd prefer you not to have to see me defend myself."

Both Dumbledore and Severus knew what he really meant by those words, _I don't want you to see me in case I ever have to submit or fail to keep him at bay._

"Severus, by _no means_ are you to give yourself to him for information. If he will not share something with you unless you compromise your dignity and pride I demand you ask him to leave. I will not allow you to suffer at his hands so that he can have a few seconds of pleasure."

Severus burst out into laughter, "It's usually more than a few seconds… he was rather vigorous as a boy… I am sure that hasn't changed."

"I do not feel the need to give the man the benefit of the doubt… in any case he always seemed rather inept in certain areas since I rarely saw him with the same girl twice and judging by the look on their faces I doubt it was the snogging they were displeased with."

Severus was trying so hard to keep his composure, to revert back to his normal cold silent self but hearing Dumbledore insult Lucius's sexual abilities was far too much even for him so it is inevitable that more laughter followed.

"I assumed he was impotent in the area since he didn't have Draco for so long."

"I guess that is true, he married Narcissa right after graduation… he was married a year or two longer than Lily and Potter." Severus said.

Dumbledore smirked and went back to his desk.

"Care for a night cap?" Dumbledore asked.

"Gods yes." Severus said as he pulled his body across the floor and dropped into Minerva's vacant chair.

"Perhaps we could keep this between us?" Severus asked.

"That was evident as soon as you came in."

Severus gave the man a smirk and took his glass and shot back the fire whisky like a pro.

OOOO

Severus browsed through his office and personal chambers but couldn't decide what to choose. Christmas morning was only three hours away and he still didn't know what to give Harry. He wasn't sure if the boy would even receive any gifts, his relatives certainly never sent him anything. He knew Dumbledore was planning on gifting the boy and there was a chance that the boy's friends would get him something. But Severus wanted to give Harry something very special, something he would really appreciate.

It came to him then as his eyes settled on the bookcase, "Perfect." Severus said as he crossed and pulled out the old book that his eyes were locked onto. He opened the cover and with a flick of his wand Severus changed the inscription inside so that his name was not present and he smirked as he went to throw a ribbon around it.

OOOO

Harry stared down at his missing body and spun around in shock, "My body's gone!" he said as he looked up at Ron.

"Hey I know what that it. That's an invisibility cloak!"

"I'm invisible?" Harry said twirling again.

"They're really rare. I wonder who gave it to you?"

" There was no name it just says use it well."

Ron smirked, "Well at least now you own something of your folks right?"

Harry couldn't help but give a sad smile, "It belonged to my dad, I still don't have anything that belonged to my mother."

"Wouldn't say that, I saved the best for last." Ron said smiling triumphantly.

"What?" Harry asked taking the cloak off and setting it aside.

"Found this on the mantle."

Ron pulled a book from behind his back and handed it to Harry. It was an old dirty green book. The black ribbon that was wrapped around it was soft and warm and Harry pulled on it slowly. As the ribbon fell away he turned the book to read the spine.

"_The Extended Works of the Brothers Grimm._ A fairy tale book?" Harry asked looking at Ron. Harry's friend kept smiling as he read the small card attached.

_Your mother was a dear friend of mine and gave this to me for Christmas when we were in school together. Take good care of this book, it is one of the small lovely pieces left of the beautiful woman that was your mother, this book and of course you. _

_Happy Christmas_

"From a professor?" Harry asked.

Ron shrugged and then said,"Open it mate."

Harry opened it slowly and spied a beautiful handwriting on the inside cover.

_Hey Prince! _

_You wanted to know what some of my most favorite fairytales were so I grabbed you this at the bookstore in London. Merry Christmas and have a great winter break! By the way, these are a little darker than what you might expect coming from me, but I know you will be able to understand that it is the writing style that I truly enjoy more than anything else! _

_XOXO, _

_Lily_

Harry stared at the handwriting and then ran a thumb over it and drank in how beautiful it was. The blue ink shined against the light of the fire and Harry felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

"Wait… if my mother's handwriting was on the inside of the cover than how did you know that it was from her?" Harry asked as he looked up at his friend with a sly smile.

Ron paled and stood quickly, "Gunna go get dressed for breakfast, Happy Christmas." He ran from the room and Harry couldn't help but laugh a little. His friends meant well by him but sometimes their curiosity got the better of them. He pulled the cloak over his lap and hugged the book to his chest before he sat back in the armchair and realized that this was the best Christmas he had ever had.

He was ready to spend the rest of break reading this book and exploring with his father's cloak when something suddenly popped into his head.

"Hey Ron! Who's Prince?"

**A/N: So tell me what you thought of this. This next chapter is going to open with a zinger so I hope you are all prepared. Thanks for reading! **


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